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Shoplifting at Walmart

  1. #1
    livingelegy African Astronaut
    SWIM needs soap to take to the public beach showers after dark but SWIM doesn't have the money to pay for it. SWIM plans on wearing a big jacket and smuggling it out in the inside pocket but SWIM is worried he'll be caught pocketing the soap on camera. SWIM would like advice on how to successfully shoplift from Walmart.
  2. #2
    soap is a cleaning agent.

    cleanliness and the ability to keep clean is a basic human right.

    just go in, claim that your unable to afford soap and start redistribution of cleanliness.
  3. #3
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    There's free soap in any gas station or store bathroom.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #4
    livingelegy African Astronaut
    Originally posted by -SpectraL There's free soap in any gas station or store bathroom.

    Where's the illegality in that?
  5. #5
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by livingelegy Where's the illegality in that?

    I didn't realize it had to be illegal. Now I know. Carry on, soldier.
  6. #6
    netstat African Astronaut
    armed robbery is a better bet
  7. #7
    STER0S African Astronaut [the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
    i wouldn't wear a big oversized sweater because that will only catch loss-prevention's attention.

    grab a cart so you blend in, put a few items in it so you blend in more, pocket your soap and gtfo

    ffs id paypal you $5 but youd probably just spend it on alcohol
  8. #8
    Kuntzschutz African Astronaut
    Originally posted by -SpectraL There's free soap in any gas station or store bathroom.

    that's not real soap, real soap is a salt of fatty acids being neutralised by an alkalai
  9. #9
    Kuntzschutz African Astronaut
    Originally posted by -SpectraL I didn't realize it had to be illegal. .

    and you wonder why you sucked as a mod of bad ideas, tsk tsk
  10. #10
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Dress up like a big, fat gypsy, and then you could wear one of those carry slings under your dress. I've seen a whole VCR fit in those.
  11. #11
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by bill Bill Krozbyby rapist you dont need to steal it…you can get it for free.

    bring a small, empty container (soda bottle works) into the bathroom…pump as much soap out of the dispenser as you want. or if you need more, use multiple dispensers.

    voila. free soap.

    poorfag

    Sorry. It has to be stolen soap.
  12. #12
    Are you guys trolling? Your parents/family/church can't get you a bar of soap?
  13. #13
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by CutterLegendaryNinja Are you guys trolling? Your parents/family/church can't get you a bar of soap?

    If the parents/family/church stole it, that could work out.
  14. #14
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Get you one of these bad boys.



    Over 2 years and counting on this baby.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  15. #15
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    Originally posted by Fonaplats Get you one of these bad boys.



    Over 2 years and counting on this baby.

    thats just a dirty chunk of metal, go sit down
  16. #16
    Originally posted by A College Professor thats just a dirty chunk of metal, go sit down

    youll be changing your mind when i shove it up your ass.
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