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Man walks into bar

  1. #1
    livingelegy motherfucker [my polyoicous forward graciousness]
    He walks up to the bar and orders a gin and soda. Just as he's about to take his sip a monkey scrambles out from under the bar and dips his cock and balls in the drink. He calls the bartender over and explains what happened and the bartender says "yeah, that happens sometimes. I'll mix you another drink" and he mixes the man another gin and soda and puts it on the bar but before he can take a drink, the monkey crawls back out and dips his cock and balls in the gin and soda. The man calls the bartender over again and this time the bartender says "I'll mix you another drink, but you have to watch your drink because I can't give you another freebie." So the man finishes his drink and he asks the bartender "so what's with the monkey?" And the bartender replies "look buddy, I've only worked here a few weeks but the piano player has worked here for 20 years, he probably knows something about it so maybe you should go ask him." So the man walks over to the piano player and he says "So you know that monkey who crawls out from under the bar and dips his balls in your gin and soda?" And the piano player says "No, but if you hum a few bars I can probably fake my way through it."
  2. #2
    Bugz Space Nigga
    Originally posted by livingelegy He walks up to the bar and orders a gin and soda. Just as he's about to take his sip a monkey scrambles out from under the bar and dips his cock and balls in the drink. He calls the bartender over and explains what happened and the bartender says "yeah, that happens sometimes. I'll mix you another drink" and he mixes the man another gin and soda and puts it on the bar but before he can take a drink, the monkey crawls back out and dips his cock and balls in the gin and soda. The man calls the bartender over again and this time the bartender says "I'll mix you another drink, but you have to watch your drink because I can't give you another freebie." So the man finishes his drink and he asks the bartender "so what's with the monkey?" And the bartender replies "look buddy, I've only worked here a few weeks but the piano player has worked here for 20 years, he probably knows something about it so maybe you should go ask him." So the man walks over to the piano player and he says "So you know that monkey who crawls out from under the bar and dips his balls in your gin and soda?" And the piano player says "No, but if you hum a few bars I can probably fake my way through it."

    Do you live near a populated city? maybe one of the counties can help you talk about your desires of destruction. some medication works by calming you when the part of your brain exhibits anger. it will make you feel calm or tired. the more your brain fights for anger or addiction like behavior it will calm you or make you tired. this is when you sit by a beach or in a park and everytime you feel hate towards someone you will actually stop thinking of that and feel a sense of calm and maybe focus on things you never did before. like the beauty of nature. how insects interact with others or watching trails of ants working for their food supply.

    or watching the ocean flow in and out. or the wind in the trees. birds forming figures (I love the redwing blackbirds, they do this but there are other species that do a better job of it)

    listen to some chill music on your headset. dont forget your mask though.
  3. #3
    livingelegy motherfucker [my polyoicous forward graciousness]
    Originally posted by Bugz Do you live near a populated city? maybe one of the counties can help you talk about your desires of destruction. some medication works by calming you when the part of your brain exhibits anger. it will make you feel calm or tired. the more your brain fights for anger or addiction like behavior it will calm you or make you tired. this is when you sit by a beach or in a park and everytime you feel hate towards someone you will actually stop thinking of that and feel a sense of calm and maybe focus on things you never did before. like the beauty of nature. how insects interact with others or watching trails of ants working for their food supply.

    or watching the ocean flow in and out. or the wind in the trees. birds forming figures (I love the redwing blackbirds, they do this but there are other species that do a better job of it)

    listen to some chill music on your headset. dont forget your mask though.

    Antipsychotics make you fat
  4. #4
    Bugz Space Nigga
    Originally posted by livingelegy Antipsychotics make you fat

    do they?

    you could just exercise then couldn't you?
  5. #5
    livingelegy motherfucker [my polyoicous forward graciousness]
    Originally posted by Bugz do they?

    you could just exercise then couldn't you?

    It doesn't help
    Anyways why r u telling me this
  6. #6
    Bugz Space Nigga
    Originally posted by livingelegy It doesn't help
    Anyways why r u telling me this

    so you admit you need help but chose not to because you dont want to be fat?

    but you're going to kill J'ews or trash a Synagog fairly shortly?
  7. #7
    livingelegy motherfucker [my polyoicous forward graciousness]
    Originally posted by Bugz so you admit you need help but chose not to because you dont want to be fat?

    but you're going to kill J'ews or trash a Synagog fairly shortly?

    did you really think I was serious about killing jedis and trashing synagogues

  8. #8
    WellHung Black Hole
    and fucks a nigger?
  9. #9
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood."
    The second one says, "I'll have one, too."
    The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma."
    The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"
  10. #10
    Bugz Space Nigga
    Originally posted by livingelegy did you really think I was serious about killing jedis and trashing synagogues


    I dont think I know you. I was hoping not. I didn't flag you. there is no reason for me to ever do anything to aid anyone anymore because you look like a liar or some other shit.

    but I am also letting you know there is software that searches BBS like this to read this and report it back to agencies. No one has to report you.
  11. #11
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    A gorilla walks into a bar and says, "A scotch on the rocks, please." The gorilla hands the bartender a $10 bill.
    The bartender thinks to himself, "This gorilla doesn't know the prices of drinks," and gives him 15 cents change.
    The bartender says, "You know, we don't get too many gorillas in here."
    The gorilla replies, "Well, at $9.85 a drink, I ain't coming back, either."
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