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Niggas in Space > Half Baked > I have to hold my dick every time i take a shit

I have to hold my dick every time i take a shit

  1. 2016-12-05 at 5:22 AM UTC
    #1
    Anal Scratch Hemorrage Houston
    it really grosses me out when touches the toilet bowl or the seat. either my toilet is to small or my dick is to big.
    on other news, my goddamn cellphone keeps writing whatever the fuck it wants and makes me have to correct every 6/4 words
  2. 2016-12-05 at 6:33 AM UTC
    #2
    zok jr. Houston
    I have the same problem that is why I have written off taking shits in public places at least I know my toilet is clean and when my dick touches the inside of it the only germs I will get are my own.

    Also it is just nicer shitting in your own bathroom.
  3. 2016-12-05 at 6:34 AM UTC
    #3
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    wear a rubber or don't sit on the toilet.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. 2016-12-05 at 6:42 AM UTC
    #4
    zok jr. Houston
    Originally posted by Actor wear a rubber or don't sit on the toilet.

    actor you're the best glad you're still around
  5. 2016-12-05 at 7:13 AM UTC
    #5
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    This never happens to me. They have enlongated toilets to prevent this, btw.
  6. 2016-12-05 at 7:16 AM UTC
    #6
    zok jr. Houston
    Originally posted by Malice This never happens to me. They have enlongated toilets to prevent this, btw.

    Even those are shit tbh.
  7. 2016-12-06 at 6:05 AM UTC
    #7
    Anal Scratch Hemorrage Houston
    Originally posted by Malice This never happens to me. They have enlongated toilets to prevent this, btw.

    yeah, because 'hey everybody, mr big dong is here lets all just change our toilets so he can take a shit'. toilets are expensive, son, the most expensive part of the house besides the kitchen and the fallout bunker.
  8. 2016-12-06 at 6:27 AM UTC
    #8
    zok jr. Houston
    Originally posted by Anal Scratch Hemorrage yeah, because 'hey everybody, mr big dong is here lets all just change our toilets so he can take a shit'. toilets are expensive, son, the most expensive part of the house besides the kitchen and the fallout bunker.

    You can get a pretty nice toilet for like $100 most appliances cost 4x that for like cheap ones.
  9. 2016-12-06 at 6:37 AM UTC
    #9
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Anal Scratch Hemorrage yeah, because 'hey everybody, mr big dong is here lets all just change our toilets so he can take a shit'. toilets are expensive, son, the most expensive part of the house besides the kitchen and the fallout bunker.

    They don't fucking cost that much. If at some point of the year you can't drop a few hundred dollars (at most), you have serious problems in your life.

    Regardless, hey, what if you made some sort of seat adjustment that would increase the height and solve this problem. It would only work at home, for a permanent (but easily detachable) solution, but even at work you could think of a way to keep it out of sight and have janitorial staff leave it alone (disguise it).
  10. 2016-12-06 at 7:15 AM UTC
    #10
    zok jr. Houston
    Here is a solution just have anal sex with a girl every time whilst taking a shit and pee into her butt. After that its up to here to deal with your urine so problem solved!
  11. 2016-12-06 at 12:52 PM UTC
    #11
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
  12. 2016-12-06 at 1:55 PM UTC
    #12
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    They should make little 'toilet curtains' that are accessible in public bathrooms, next to the toilet paper. A little drape that you can put over the front lip of the toilet bowl in order to prevent this problem, and you don't have to worry about keeping your MASSIVE COCK tucked in. In fact, I will be inventing these. This is my calling.

    Also, actor is right. You shouldn't be sitting. You should be perched on the toilet seat crouching in the Drago position.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. 2016-12-07 at 10:17 AM UTC
    #13
    bling bling Dark Matter
    is a shower not a grower xDDD
  14. 2016-12-07 at 2:43 PM UTC
    #14
    Anal Scratch Hemorrage Houston
    a couple hundred dollars plus the cement and sealant plus the plumbing work... that money can pay a good vacation. not that I need one because I am unemployed. i knew i should have just joined the army... or the clergy
  15. 2016-12-08 at 1:32 AM UTC
    #15
    bling bling Dark Matter
    Originally posted by bling bling is a shower not a grower xDDD

  16. 2016-12-08 at 1:42 AM UTC
    #16
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I actually got a new toilet just a couple of weeks ago. LOL if you think they are expensive. Mine has, like, it's like a cup. Made of pure gold and molded to suit my giant cock perfectly.

    Just kidding..It's not pure gold.... anyway. Shit threat about shitting. Shame on you.
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