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Home loans. (I have no idea where to start)

  1. #1
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    WHO?
    WHAT?
    WHERE?
    WHEN?
    WHY?
    How?

    All I know is I want one.
    Where do I go?
    How do I set myself up for one?
    What does it entail?

    Help me out guys...
  2. #2
    You need a bunch of money as a down payment to show them you aren't some random junkie off the street that buys 10 sprint phones and never pays for them
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #3
    Step one: marry the smell
  4. #4
    stl1 Cum Lickin' Fagit
    My daughter is a loan officer and deals with these questions every day. Talk to a loan officer from a bank or mortgage company, etc.
  5. #5
    Originally posted by stl1 My daughter is a loan officer and deals with these questions every day. Talk to a loan officer from a bank or mortgage company, etc.

    Whoa, calm down, everything is above board here no need to get the authorities involved.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. #6
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Assuming you live in the United States and can't really afford it: FHA loan, minimum 3.5% down. Look rural, ask the realtor about grant eligibility.

  7. #7
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
    Start by not buying a house. The end.
  8. #8
    Buy a trailer
  9. #9
    Soyboy 2020 IV: Intravenous Soyposting African Astronaut [scrub the quick-drying deinonychus]
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood Buy a trailer

    Didn't they clamp down on that and make trailer parks really unaffordable or something
  10. #10
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    Originally posted by Zanick Assuming you live in the United States and can't really afford it: FHA loan, minimum 3.5% down. Look rural, ask the realtor about grant eligibility.

    Its so shaky.
  11. #11
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    OP couldn't finance a cheeseburger with a dollar down.
  12. #12
    Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING 2020 IV: Intravenous Soyposting Didn't they clamp down on that and make trailer parks really unaffordable or something

    No way, they are the classic bachelor/ lower middle income family home.
  13. #13
    Ajax African Astronaut [rumor the placative aphakia]
    OP, we need more info about you. We know you want a home. Help us determine what home is best for you. I’m not saying what you qualify for because banks will always qualify you for more house than you can actually afford unless you have shitty credit.

    What is your monthly net income? How much cash do you have for a down payment? That will help determine how much house you can actually afford.

    I’ve bought and sold property a few times. Within the last couple months, I bought a lot (land) with a couple acres, got my current home under contract to sell it, signed a lease on a rental while we build a new house on said lot that we purchased, and are about to sign a contract with a builder to build it. None of it is all that hard, you just have to stay on top of things.

    Find a local realtor you can trust and they will answer all kinds of questions for free. They want you to use them when you go to buy/sell, so they’re really in the relationship business and will be helpful.
  14. #14
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    I bring home $800 every 2 weeks and I can put $23 down tonight but I also get paid this week.
    I have $10k in collections but probably still have ok credit. I did commit fraud but I don't take responsibility for my actions.
  15. #15
    Speedy Parker Black Hole [my absentmindedly lachrymatory gazania]
    Originally posted by BeeReBuddy I bring home $800 every 2 weeks and I can put $23 down tonight but I also get paid this week.
    I have $10k in collections but probably still have ok credit. I did commit fraud but I don't take responsibility for my actions.

    If you have 10k in collection you are not going to get a mortgage.
  16. #16
    Ajax African Astronaut [rumor the placative aphakia]
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker If you have 10k in collection you are not going to get a mortgage.

    This. Sorry Charlie. Get your debt squared away, save up some money, and try again in 7 years.

    You need to work on that income too. Making $20 grand a year won’t get you much. I didn’t even ask your general location.
  17. #17
    BeeReBuddy motherfucker [pimp your due marabout]
    Originally posted by Ajax This. Sorry Charlie. Get your debt squared away, save up some money, and try again in 7 years.

    You need to work on that income too. Making $20 grand a year won’t get you much. I didn’t even ask your general location.

    I make $25k a year than you.
  18. #18
    Ajax African Astronaut [rumor the placative aphakia]
    Originally posted by BeeReBuddy I make $25k a year than you.

    What?
  19. #19
    rabbitweed African Astronaut
    I'm terrified of buying a house. I don't trust governments, what if I buy a house somewhere and they just dump 30,000 "refugees" in the neighbourhood and let them loot shit?

    Or I have noisy neighours?

    Maybe I'd buy a rural property.
  20. #20
    Ajax African Astronaut [rumor the placative aphakia]
    Originally posted by rabbitweed I'm terrified of buying a house. I don't trust governments, what if I buy a house somewhere and they just dump 30,000 "refugees" in the neighbourhood and let them loot shit?

    Or I have noisy neighours?

    Maybe I'd buy a rural property.

    You do your research on the property and the neighborhood. Don’t buy something without knowing everything there is to know about it.

    If that still happens, then you pay it off and never have to worry about paying rent or getting evicted for some dumb reason other than not paying your property taxes.
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