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Glossary of Homeless people in my neighborhood

  1. #1
    There is a regular cast of characters around here like Seinfeld and I would like to start documenting their antics.

    La Dame Qui Crie - A woman that screams non stop in french, sounds like she's having a serious argument with demons. People always look at her because it sounds like she's screaming bloody murder and being raped but she just walks around and even stops at crosswalks while shouting to herself.

    Mr. Tweek - A homeless guy that likes to get high on meth, harass old people and remove bricks from the local park. He has almost single handedly dismantled a local park in my neighborhood, unscrewed random things, took apart a bench, removes bricks and rips trashcans out of the concrete. The city keeps trying to put it back together but he has really done a number on the place. He must have been doing this for years, i see him around a lot. He pushed me once when I wouldn't give him a nickel.

    Buttman - This man has a look of desperation on his face at all times and he always hangs around the concrete tree circles walking around them clockwise staring intently on the pile of discarded cigarette butts, just endlessly walking around them like he's trying to summon more. Sometimes he sits down and goes through them one by one. I would toss him a pack of smokes but I think it might break the space time continuum. The man is so desperate he's not even trying to summon a cigarette, just the used butts. I see him almost every day doing his dance, kinda like this

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    Headspin Houston
    Oh man I definitely want to do this. I'm reserving this spot for the future.

    That's too funny my dude.
  3. #3
    I saw some titties today. I was crossing the street and noticed two police cars with lights flashing, then I saw the woman they were after. She had a suitcase and suddenly her tit came out of her shirt. Then she took off the shirt. The cop was laughing with a grin on his face the entire time.

    The woman looked really scuffed and ashy. She had really small sagging tits. It was weird seeing titties that aren't my girlfriends.

    She kinda looked like this, she was black and old.

  4. #4
    trippymindfuk Tuskegee Airman
    My hometown would have a list a mile long....

    There's a guy that sticks out though....

    Cart guy-has everything he owns in 2 shopping carts tied side to side. Lives and sleeps under an overpass where there's also a colony of rats living. He doesn't have to fly a sign, it's well known he's off in the head so people just stop and give him money. Drinks wild Irish rose like there's no tomorrow. Barks at cars yet can hold a short, normal conversation if need be. Will drop his pants and take a shit wherever he is.
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