User Controls

A Wariat Tale

  1. #1
    Everything was set in motion for Maciej Wieslaw Lata. Today was the day, and he could not be more excited. His plan had felt so precarious before. So risky. He'd spent many late nights wondering how this would all turn out, and hoping his anxiety would not get the best of him when the time finally came. "Will she like me?" "Will I like her?" "Am I going to get arrested?"

    The drive seemed endless. "Mbye is should turn bacik," he thought. "wht am I even doinjg? I need to finish my horse picture. What if I get caug ht? Pedophlils are not treated well in American prisons. It's unfare."

    Maciej pulled over into an ALDI and checked his phone.

    JENNY: OMG you would do that??? I love pepperoni.

    "Right, pizza," Maciej said. He had almost forgotten the pizza.


    .

    .

    .


    The cashier smiled as she scanned Maciej's items. "Aww, how old are they?" She asked.

    "Wha t?"

    "How old are your kids?" The woman repeated, shaking the colorful package on the counter.

    "Oh uh,, I dont have anyt. Kid s like bubbles right ?"

    "Well mine did when they were younger, but now they're all grown up and doing their own thing. I hardly even see them anymore."

    "That's how it is," the lady behind him said. "They get older and all they want to do is leave the house."

    "Oh yeah, definitely. I haven't seen my kids since Christmas."

    "Well my youngest still lives with me so her I still see everyday, but my two sons? Nah." The woman shook her head. "I'm lucky if they even call."

    The cashier laughed, "How it goes, right? They gotta leave the nest someday."

    Maciej flashed a bright red.

    "SHUT TUPT HSUPT HUP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! Stfupid fucking WOMEN! Stufklfucking HERE! JUST TaKE IT!" He shouted, tossing a ten dollar bill onto the counter before stomping towards the door. Muffled screams could be heard from inside as Maciej slammed the door of his car and pulled off onto the road.

    "Sir, don't you want your change?" The cashier asked.


    .

    .

    .


    It was noon by the time Maciej decided to enter the house. White shutters, beige trim, a bike in the yard. There was no mistaking it. A family lived here. He'd spent a good two hours parked across the street, just in case, and he was sure that nobody was home. At least, not any adults.

    "Her e goe n nothing, he said.

    Knock knock.

    Knock knock.

    "Come in!" A sweet voice said from behind the door. "I'm just getting ready!"

    Maciej entered the house. "It's ok ay. I brought pizza like you wante. this kictchen is very nice by the wayy. Kif your dad wants some n ew art t ell hi m to call me."

    "Alright," the girl said. "What kind of pizza did you bring? Did you bring the soda?"

    "Damn," Maciej thought. "i fo rgot the sopda."

    A door opened up across the room, and a suited man entered. "Hey," the man said. "Why don't you take a seat right there?"

    Maciej looked around frantically. Where was the girl?

    "It's alright," the man said. "Just take a seat."

    Maciej sat down.

    "Can you tell me why you're here?"

    "i waasjh juust devilring a pizza. it's peprini".

    "Uh-huh, and can you tell me why you sent this to a twelve year old girl? It says, 'I want to fuck your brains out, Jenny. I want to fuck your brains out so bad.' Now tell me Maciej, why would you say that to a twelve year old girl?"

    "Thyaat wasnt me. "

    "Well it certainly appears to be you. Now tell me Maciej, did you bring any condoms today?"

    "No," Maciej said.

    "Alright, well there is one more thing you need to know. I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC, and we are doing a story on internet predators. If you have anything else you would like to say, we would love to hear it, but if not you are obviously free to leave the building," Chris Hansen said.

    "Ar e you wokrning for rRaphael Lucioano?" He asked.

    "I don't know who that is," Chris Hansen said. "But the only people I'm working for is NBC."

    "Oka y," Maciej said. "There a re cops outsiude theqn?"

    "There are police outside, yes," Hansen said.

    Maciej sighed and looked out the window. "Are a ny of themnj wome en?"
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    Hikikomori-Fujoshi African Astronaut
    tldr
  3. #3
    Cly African Astronaut [foredate your moneyless friar's-cowl]
    Bro that was fucking aces.
  4. #4
    D.

    too cliche and underwhealming.
  5. #5
    Can we all recognize that even Wariat's name looks misspelled

    Maciej Wieslaw Lata
  6. #6
    Wariat Black Hole
    so all white polish people look the same huh? you seirously think you can prove someone from 10 yrs ago is me?
  7. #7
    Originally posted by Wariat so all white polish people look the same huh? you seirously think you can prove someone from 10 yrs ago is me?

    Well the multiple pictures you posted of yourself seem to look the same as the guy in that article...

    I don't know if you understand, Wariat, but I keep meticulous records. Some users here I have multiple addresses of as they have moved around through the years. I have kept the same .txt file for PI since 2011. I have every picture of you that you've posted. At least the ones I've seen. I have all these links saved and screenshotted and possibly backed up. I don't remember.

    So yeah I'm pretty fucking confident I can prove it was you. Unless you were posting another dude's selfies for days on end? But we'll let your potential employers decide if that looks like you or not.
  8. #8
    i lost it at the first spelling errroar Lengthy Members Ravishing my Anus! Ow!
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  9. #9
    Octavian motherfucker
    Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace Everything was set in motion for Maciej Wieslaw Lata. Today was the day, and he could not be more excited. His plan had felt so precarious before. So risky. He'd spent many late nights wondering how this would all turn out, and hoping his anxiety would not get the best of him when the time finally came. "Will she like me?" "Will I like her?" "Am I going to get arrested?"

    The drive seemed endless. "Mbye is should turn bacik," he thought. "wht am I even doinjg? I need to finish my horse picture. What if I get caug ht? Pedophlils are not treated well in American prisons. It's unfare."

    Maciej pulled over into an ALDI and checked his phone.

    JENNY: OMG you would do that??? I love pepperoni.

    "Right, pizza," Maciej said. He had almost forgotten the pizza.


    .

    .

    .


    The cashier smiled as she scanned Maciej's items. "Aww, how old are they?" She asked.

    "Wha t?"

    "How old are your kids?" The woman repeated, shaking the colorful package on the counter.

    "Oh uh,, I dont have anyt. Kid s like bubbles right ?"

    "Well mine did when they were younger, but now they're all grown up and doing their own thing. I hardly even see them anymore."

    "That's how it is," the lady behind him said. "They get older and all they want to do is leave the house."

    "Oh yeah, definitely. I haven't seen my kids since Christmas."

    "Well my youngest still lives with me so her I still see everyday, but my two sons? Nah." The woman shook her head. "I'm lucky if they even call."

    The cashier laughed, "How it goes, right? They gotta leave the nest someday."

    Maciej flashed a bright red.

    "SHUT TUPT HSUPT HUP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!! Stfupid fucking WOMEN! Stufklfucking HERE! JUST TaKE IT!" He shouted, tossing a ten dollar bill onto the counter before stomping towards the door. Muffled screams could be heard from inside as Maciej slammed the door of his car and pulled off onto the road.

    "Sir, don't you want your change?" The cashier asked.


    .

    .

    .


    It was noon by the time Maciej decided to enter the house. White shutters, beige trim, a bike in the yard. There was no mistaking it. A family lived here. He'd spent a good two hours parked across the street, just in case, and he was sure that nobody was home. At least, not any adults.

    "Her e goe n nothing, he said.

    Knock knock.

    Knock knock.

    "Come in!" A sweet voice said from behind the door. "I'm just getting ready!"

    Maciej entered the house. "It's ok ay. I brought pizza like you wante. this kictchen is very nice by the wayy. Kif your dad wants some n ew art t ell hi m to call me."

    "Alright," the girl said. "What kind of pizza did you bring? Did you bring the soda?"

    "Damn," Maciej thought. "i fo rgot the sopda."

    A door opened up across the room, and a suited man entered. "Hey," the man said. "Why don't you take a seat right there?"

    Maciej looked around frantically. Where was the girl?

    "It's alright," the man said. "Just take a seat."

    Maciej sat down.

    "Can you tell me why you're here?"

    "i waasjh juust devilring a pizza. it's peprini".

    "Uh-huh, and can you tell me why you sent this to a twelve year old girl? It says, 'I want to fuck your brains out, Jenny. I want to fuck your brains out so bad.' Now tell me Maciej, why would you say that to a twelve year old girl?"

    "Thyaat wasnt me. "

    "Well it certainly appears to be you. Now tell me Maciej, did you bring any condoms today?"

    "No," Maciej said.

    "Alright, well there is one more thing you need to know. I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC, and we are doing a story on internet predators. If you have anything else you would like to say, we would love to hear it, but if not you are obviously free to leave the building," Chris Hansen said.

    "Ar e you wokrning for rRaphael Lucioano?" He asked.

    "I don't know who that is," Chris Hansen said. "But the only people I'm working for is NBC."

    "Oka y," Maciej said. "There a re cops outsiude theqn?"

    "There are police outside, yes," Hansen said.

    Maciej sighed and looked out the window. "Are a ny of themnj wome en?"

    HAHAHAHAHAHA

    FUCK U WARIAT

    FUCKING UGLY NONCE
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. #10
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood i lost it at the first spelling errroar Lengthy Members Ravishing my Anus! Ow!

    The only reason I wrote this story was because I thought of doing his quotes like that in the shower lol.
  11. #11
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    "i waasjh juust devilring a pizza. it's peprini".
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. #12
    Pillpopper Tuskegee Airman
    I bet the lil pedo is pouting about now.
  13. #13
    Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace The only reason I wrote this story was because I thought of doing his quotes like that in the shower lol.

    wariat thinks in spelling errors ahaha
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  14. #14
    remembrance bump
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  15. #15
    Octavian motherfucker
    Bump knowing gimps be mad BUT AH ***UNSUBSCRIIIIIBE**

  16. #16
    Originally posted by Octavian Bump knowing gimps be mad BUT AH ***UNSUBSCRIIIIIBE**


  17. #17
    BeeReBuddy African Astronaut [pimp your due marabout]
    I was the last person Wariat said anything nice about.
    Me and him are friends.
  18. #18
    Speedy Parker Dark Matter
    Originally posted by MexicanMasterRace

    This is the only amusing thing you have ever posted. Well done.
  19. #19
    Octavian motherfucker
    Hey Galm look at dem haters.

    We win doe.
  20. #20
    Originally posted by Octavian Hey Galm look at dem haters.

    We win doe.

    We kicked the nonce out lool.

    Just a few more to go.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
Jump to Top