Whatever the headlines say, this election cycle is really about man fleeing from the world and seeking comfort in masturbation. I’m sure you’re all happy to be part of the problem, but I intend to support candidates who regulate hands and their activities. Provided this important change, men will come to regard their sex as an independent being, with its own preferences and volition. If nourished, this being will come to possess qualities that have been dismissed by men as supernatural and fantastic. If allowed to pursue its will, it becomes a god between his legs. This, of course, would be more satisfying to Karen as she rides each of us into the void of unbeing. Make sure you get out and vote in November, it's never been more crucial.
