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I have a serious substance abuse problem

  1. #1
    rabbitweed African Astronaut
    Since most of you are a bunch of junkies I imagine you'd be able to help out.

    I have one coffee and up to four (!!!) cups of tea a day. It's seriously fucking with me and I need help going clean.

    Any advice?
  2. #2
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Originally posted by rabbitweed Since most of you are a bunch of junkies I imagine you'd be able to help out.

    I have one coffee and up to four (!!!) cups of tea a day. It's seriously fucking with me and I need help going clean.

    Any advice?

    Substitute!
  3. #3
    Octavian motherfucker
    Smack
  4. #4
    Solstice African Astronaut
    This is the kind of stuff my aunt posts on Facebook
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. #5
    rabbitweed African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Solstice This is the kind of stuff my aunt posts on Facebook

    Don't trivialise my disease. I have mild headaches constantly.
  6. #6
    *jitters*

    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood Sure it's cheaper and you can make a giant pot as strong as you want with 6 sugars. Why stop at just one though? YOU CAN MAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. NOBODY HAS EVER DIED FROM COFFEE, bonus cups are the shit you can put 20 scoops of instant coffee in a mug with a bit of sugar and chug it for the ultimate rush. Or you can make a giant pot, pour in some milk and chug that. Even the pope chugs coffee because he's from South America, can you really blame him?

    I like getting it from the store because I just get one cup and its normal strength. I have no self control when I make it myself, caffeine is the shit and one of my favorite drugs ever since I was a young teenager. You can stay up all night and play video games if you chug coffee

    The doctors told me I have an anxiety disorder exacerbated by my abuse of caffeine, they are probably right but can you blame me? Jittering feels fucking amazing even though people think i'm on crack, they just don't get it man. If you are too pussy to abuse caffeine why even live.

    It all started when I got a coffee from Denny's at 3am and my friend slipped caffeine pills in it, I lost the ability to sleep but played call of duty until 12pm and then I yoinked the bottle of pills from my friend and ate them all in a few days. Thanks to the pandemic I can't get my free coffee from A&W anymore so I have been making my own and GOD DAMN THOSE FUCKERS AT A&W HAVE BEEN GIVING ME WEAK SHIT. There should be a cafe that makes super coffee 12x strong with caffeine pills and a legal amount of codeine to take the edge off. I don't know of any laws against making bonus cups, I guess most people are just pussies and don't want to drink stimulant sludge. Everyone is doing it wrong and coffee culture is gay as fuck.



  7. #7
    Originally posted by rabbitweed Since most of you are a bunch of junkies I imagine you'd be able to help out.

    I have one coffee and up to four (!!!) cups of tea a day. It's seriously fucking with me and I need help going clean.

    Any advice?

    drink less.
  8. #8
    AngryIVer African Astronaut [my jade controlled morrigan]
    Originally posted by rabbitweed Don't trivialise my disease. I have mild headaches constantly.

    Lucky. Back when I was too into caffeine it felt like I was being repeatedly kicked in the head when I didn't have it.

    I'm still into it, I just don't drink 12-16 Redbulls a day in addition to the twp pots of coffee before work.

    Yes, pots, as in 12 cup carafe.
  9. #9
    STER0S African Astronaut [the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
    whats so good about coffee
  10. #10
    Octavian motherfucker
    Mass suicide anyone?
  11. #11
    Solstice African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Octavian Mass suicide anyone?

    Your place or mine?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. #12
    Octavian motherfucker
    My mate killed himself a few weeks back.

    I always find a morbid curiosity regarding the situation. How/when/where/why

    He must have been what, 5"8' tops if that. I thought it was tablets but he swung.

    What a fucking waste man


    Annnyways i'm not going take that route.

    I just can't.
  13. #13
    Octavian motherfucker
    How we all didling?
  14. #14
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    It has been 5 months.
    Have you gotten clean or are you still a junkie?
    Don't lie cuz I know the truth.
    I just wanna hear you say it.
  15. #15
    RIPtotse Yung Blood
    thought this might be a real thread about real substance abuse
  16. #16
    rabbitweed African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Fonaplats It has been 5 months.
    Have you gotten clean or are you still a junkie?
    Don't lie cuz I know the truth.
    I just wanna hear you say it.

    I'm down to one cup of coffee a day. I've gotten a lot better.

    I'd like to replace it all with tea, which has less caffeine. but my god is tea boring. and it takes so long to make.
  17. #17
    Japan-Is-Eternal Naturally Camouflaged
    I used to drink like 200oz of soda everyday and have one or two mugs of coffee in the morning.

    When I quit the detox was one of the most intense things I have gone through.
    I would have intense nightmares and wake up with my bed soaked in sweat.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. #18
    Obbe Alan What? [annoy my right-angled speediness]
    Smoke more weed to balance it out.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  19. #19
    AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    Caffeine is a shit tier drug.
    You should do COCAINE!!
    The Peruvian marching powder is where it's at.
  20. #20
    AngryOnion Big Wig [the nightly self-effacing broadsheet]
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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