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Going to the supermarket AKA watch where you walk

  1. #1
    There are multiple challenges at the grocery store. Some of which are by design just to fuck with you, and some of which are caused by annoying/oblivious people.

    When the super market is very busy, navigating it is a huge annoyance because there are oblivious people everywhere. They leave their shopping carts in the way, they block paths, they walk slow; they are a general pain in the ass.

    All people who are worthy of life are mindful of their movements at the grocery store. Be mindful of where you stand and where you walk. Be mindful of where you leave your fucking cart. There is most likely someone in the store who is not a pussy bitch gatherer who walks around aimlessly to slowly look and gather; some people are hunters who know what the fuck they're looking for and are going in and out at high speed low drag to be efficient. Hunters are not to be fucked with, so be mindful.

    The root of the problem is society in itself. It is unacceptable to shove people out of the way, shove carts out of the way, climb over/ jump vegetable/fruit stands to navigate efficiently, or throw produce a few isles over in the stationary department. It doesn't matter how old or dumb you are, you should be shoved out of the way if you block a path in a place where parkour is not socially acceptable. Yet, shoving people out of the way or telling them to watch where they walk/stand is seen as "rude". 2020 everyone.

    I, for example, slice the pie when I enter or exit each and every fucking isle. Slicing the pie when going in and out of an isle in super autist speed allows you to fly in there like a bat out of hell without bumping into/knocking down an old lady; because when you bump into a slow bitch you have to tell her to watch here shes walking/standing, which society apparently frowns upon. I slice the pie after I move a product on the shelf to see what is behind it. I hug the shelf and quickly move the product away, so that whatever is behind the product cannot see me when I move the product, and then I slice the pie into the new opening between products that I have made.

    See: slicing the pie; i.e. how to check for people before entering/exiting an isle at the grocery store.


    The other challenge in navigating a supermarket is in the fact that the whole place is a giant fatal funnel. The isles are just long hallways, which connect to other hallways on the other side. How the fuck are you supposed to clear all of that shit every time you walk out of an isle (T-shaped hallways)? Sure, you can do it, but I don't know how many grenades/ flashbangs you need if you're going in solo; fuck stopping at the end of each isle to throw a quick peek into their side, and fuck slicing the pie in one direction and then quickly turning to your six after you entered the fatal funnel and one direction is cleared. Turning your back to territory that you have not cleared is a really bad idea. Like, really bad.

    See: fatal funnels; i.e. the place you want to be in for as short a duration as possible.



    In order to be worthy of the gift of life, people need to vigilantly look around all the time in the grocery store. Weather slicing the pie in and out of isles, or just simply looking to see if you'll block anyones path before you put your cart somewhere, looking around is imperative. You deserve to be stabbed otherwise.


    When I am at the store, I constantly scan 360 degrees all around. My head is like a sphere with many sensors which constantly spins in search of obstacles and threats. Think of a fast spinning disco ball, but instead of colorful lenses there are sensors.



    Occasionally when I see someone who is dressing or acting in an unacceptable manner, the closest to them sensor homes in with great force, making my scanning sphere spin at great speeds. Having achieved liftoff using the force of the spin I look down upon and pass judgement on the informals.

    I thank you for your attention.
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  2. #2
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
    I have been caught behind so many slow nigger family's as I try to enter the store. Every time, they enter the store and just STOP! Oblivious to the crowd behind them that they are holding up! Clueless niggers piss me off.
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  3. #3
    Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Dark Matter [my scoffingly uncritical tinning]
    wut?
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  4. #4
    people should be checking for me
  5. #5
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood people should be checking for me

    I check for others. They owe me at this point.
  6. #6
    Wat u fink start rek?
  7. #7
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by Misguided Russian Wat u fink start rek?

    good thread
  8. #8
    Solstice African Astronaut
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  9. #9
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    lol, I remember that, dunno why though
  10. #10
    Originally posted by Solstice

    Great stuff, seems familiar buy probably just hindsight bias. I want that shopping cart nonetheless.

    Reminds me of this truck from Ukraine for some reason:



    This SHIT, was made by the Ukrainian army. Captured after a literal BATTLE. Can you imagine the sick imagination of the person who created this? I DO NOT know what they are smoking. And the Ukrainian 4th company got lucky in that they were able to capture such a mutant. Look at this; a Kamaz truck of the Ukrainian army. This is fucked.

    I recommend to NATO that they not give anything to Ukraine; they will turn everything into mutants like this.
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  11. #11
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    mexican cartels were able to do heaps better with F150s and some sheet metal
  12. #12
    i seldom buy more than what i can put in my backpack, and when i do employ a cart, i jist bulldoze other carts out of my way if theyre in my way or i drive it into the shelves if the obstacle happens to be a humanoid.

    the bang and scratching sound will turn their heads and they will amicably move themselves out of my way.

    when confronting slow moving, or slow moving wide vehicles (humanoids) i just inch my cart slowly past them, sometimes close enough to graze their blouse or handbags. this will get their attemtion and they instinctively and automatically move out of my way.

    and when overtaking them isnt possible due to the narrowness of the aisle, i'll just run my cart into the shelves again, slowly, just enough to emit cart-on-shelves metallic sound. this will get their attention and most of them will reflextively move out of the way.

    these techniques might no work on the severely retarded tho. when this happens, i usually deploy sarcastic remarks, rethorical questions and mockery when confronted with these tards.
  13. #13
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny i seldom buy more than what i can put in my backpack, and when i do employ a cart, i jist bulldoze other carts out of my way if theyre in my way or i drive it into the shelves if the obstacle happens to be a humanoid.

    the bang and scratching sound will turn their heads and they will amicably move themselves out of my way.

    when confronting slow moving, or slow moving wide vehicles (humanoids) i just inch my cart slowly past them, sometimes close enough to graze their blouse or handbags. this will get their attemtion and they instinctively and automatically move out of my way.

    and when overtaking them isnt possible due to the narrowness of the aisle, i'll just run my cart into the shelves again, slowly, just enough to emit cart-on-shelves metallic sound. this will get their attention and most of them will reflextively move out of the way.

    these techniques might no work on the severely retarded tho. when this happens, i usually deploy sarcastic remarks, rethorical questions and mockery when confronted with these tards.

    I make it a point to whistle as I walk to make sure people are aware of my presence so they can move out of the way. I usually only take a hand basket and not a cart. If I am using a cart, I will also sometimes pickup/drop the rear wheels of it to make extra fucking noise so that everyone knows I am retarded and to get the FUCK out of my way.

    As far as fat people clogging up an entire isle; I have many times said that the govt. should give out permits to help reduce the occurrence of such problems. Proper individuals ought to be given permits to shoot fatties once per month in the gut with a .22 cal. Like if you have this permit you're allowed to shoot someone in the fat gut once a month if their fat is hindering productivity of society.
  14. #14
    A College Professor victim of incest [your moreover breastless limestone]
    im going to exert my dominance next time i have to do ( what I consider a womanly task) grocery shopping and slam the shit out of offending carts, and tell them to WATCH OUT STUPID. i dont give an eff if i have to crumple that cart up like a little sodey can out in traffic if the whole damn shelf falls over i dont even care if i have to pick it up and slam it on the ground like a wrestling exhibition ive had enough of these pussy ass carts
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  15. #15
    Ghost Black Hole
    clear dat doctors office ALL CLEAR FOR THE MOTHERLAND! LONG LIVE THE WORKERS UNION
  16. #16
    Originally posted by Ghost clear dat doctors office ALL CLEAR FOR THE MOTHERLAND! LONG LIVE THE WORKERS UNION

    Not before I hop over the counter of the bakery to say WHUTUP to the bitches with the titties who work there.

  17. #17
    Originally posted by Misguided Russian I make it a point to whistle as I walk to make sure people are aware of my presence so they can move out of the way. I usually only take a hand basket and not a cart. If I am using a cart, I will also sometimes pickup/drop the rear wheels of it to make extra fucking noise so that everyone knows I am retarded and to get the FUCK out of my way.

    As far as fat people clogging up an entire isle; I have many times said that the govt. should give out permits to help reduce the occurrence of such problems. Proper individuals ought to be given permits to shoot fatties once per month in the gut with a .22 cal. Like if you have this permit you're allowed to shoot someone in the fat gut once a month if their fat is hindering productivity of society.

    pls dont shoot fat people.

    fats are harder to clean than blood.
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