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Tort's criagslist CC, SS#s, bank robbery, and mexico criminal guide for dummies!!!!!

  1. #1
    TORTILLA Yung Blood
    Go on the jobs section of craigslist and find an application for a job with wide appeal. Make sure the application has a spot to put your SS#. Repost that application as if you are posting as the hiring manager on CL in all the major cities. There are people, many people, who will put down their actual SS#, name, address. Diligent application of this method will result in a mega dump. Sell on darknet, PROFIT!!!!!!!!!111111111\

    Option 2: Apply to shitty pizza place. Take phone orders. When people decide to pay over phone with CC, simply write down their CC#, 3 digit security code, name and address down on ur phone as you take the order in the pizza place's computer. PROFITTTTTT!

    Option 3: Go on Craigslist's part-time job section. Make an add saying you need several painters for a large personal construction project. You will pay 150$ per day, and the job will last up to 2 weeks if the person decides to return the next day. No commitment required beyond day 1. This will appeal to a wide audience, especially if you live in a large latino populated city such as Los Angeles. Dress code is required, Blue jeans, white shirt, and a hat. Give a time and a date. Give the hiring/pickup location in front of a bank.

    Stash a bike 2 blocks from the bank. Rob bank wearing blue jeans, white shirt, hat, and disguise. Flee on foot, grab stash bike, remove disguise. The police will be thrown off long enough to make getaway. PROFIT!!!!!!!!!!

    Option 4: Cross the border on foot from San Diego into Tijuana. Take a cab from the initial cross point to the red light district (La Zona Norte) to avoid the notorious mugging trap points, into relative safety. A room can be rented for 12-25$ per night. This will be your temporary base of operations. Walk the streets of La Zona Norte and find yourself 1-3 hot latina hookers. A typical fuck is anywhere from 15$-50$ for 20 minutes. Tell them you have a job for them tomorrow, at an unknown time, but you are going to pay them triple. Get their contact information and tell them to be ready to meet at your hotel tomorrow.

    Return to your room and go on to craigslist's ETC/Part time job section and look for ad's in spanish that translate to: ''Border Crossing''. which are usually followed with a simple phone number and dollar amount. Call the number and make an appointment, if you don't speak enough spanish to set up a meeting place, tell them you only hablo english. I assure you, you will get put on or called back by someone who can speak english. Now, because you are american/and are likely a gringo, your a hot commodity for this line of work. You will be asked to meet at a safe house. You will be asked several questions of competency and you will be vetted to assure that you are not a rival cartel mole. You have nothing to fear, tell the truth, you are simply on vacation looking to make some extra $. It's an acceptable and not uncommon thing which these guys see more than you think.

    The following morning a car will be driven to your hotel room. A GPS will be plugged in with your final destination into america pre programmed. You will be given 1mg of xanax and be asked to depart. This is where you deviate from the plan. Call all 3 of your latina hookers saying it's go time. Whichever one gets to you first, tell her to hop in and haul ass, reprogramming your GPS for Cabo San Lucas. Once you are able to get on the freeway heading south, dump the GPS outside the window. It is an easy straight shot south from here. Once you arrive at the destination, you'll need to rent a time-share apt with a garage. Have your girl go upstairs and enjoy the view and get herself ready. This is where you get to work.

    If the vehicle is a truck, the goods are located behind the the back passanger seats. Remove the seats, if you encounter a steel plate, this is a good thing, it is used to deflect xray detection at the border. remove plate. If there is no plate tap the under side of the fuel tank, listening for a hollow sound. If you are confident it isnt there either, check inside the door pannels. Headrests are a good spot as well. Today's drug mule cars are trending towards moving bulk as opposed to relatively small quantities hidden sophisticatedly within the car. This is especially true when it is your first run. You are a disposable asset to them and your first time through the border is usually the most successful, so they tend to hide bulk shipments, which can only be hidden in the places described above.

    Once you find the saran wrapped packages, pull out as many as you feel you will need. Drive the stripped car/truck a few blocks away and ditch it. Rejoin your latina, and hopefully the christmas gifts you are about to unwrap are some high quality meth or cocaine. In which case, go on a 1 night drug fueled sex party. Book a flight back home for the next morning, stuffing as much of the drugs up ur ass as humanly possible. Return home and shit out the drugs, selling them will yield a large profit, having covered the expenses of the entire trip. Sit back with a fat cigar on your porch and smile.
    Optional - If you dont wanna ditch the hot latina, fill her up with ur cum the night before and give her your contact info for citizenship, and give her 150$ to get back home.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    This should be in hardback bravo your words inspired me
  3. #3
    TORTILLA Yung Blood
    Thanks
  4. #4
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Bamp!
  5. #5
    Its really romantic I want to get my travel pappers.

    But opie i thought painters wore white pants
  6. #6
    mashlehash victim of incest
    Very Good, Tort.
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