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I want to learn how to fuck bicycles

  1. #1
    I get that this is the dickheads forum, wasn't sure if this would be a better fit in DIY or here, but what the hell.
    Anyway, neither my ten-speed or my BMX are fuckable at the moment and I've realized that I've got very little clue how to fuck either one. So I want to learn how to fuck my bikes.

    I'll obviously need some tools, and while I've got a some wrenches and condoms in both jumbo and standard sizes, I'm sure there are certain specialty tools that make pounding on bikes a lot easier.

    Also, any good recommendations of learning resources? Bike porn or magazines, YouTube channels, websites, etc?

  2. #2
    Chronic Yung Blood
    I lol'd.
  3. #3
    Mayberry Houston
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #4
    Chronic Yung Blood
    ^ Was not expecting that... But, I guess it was alright. Japanese people are strange.
  5. #5
    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    fucking pervert
  6. #6
    infinityshock Black Hole
    use large salad tongs to spread your anal sphincter wide.

    insert bicycle, sans condom

    if difficulty with insertion is encountered, have multiple friends help push
  7. #7
    I absolutely don't remember making this thread at all.
  8. #8
    Amphetamines and bundy will distort your body image enough to become sexually attracted to inanimate objects. And the tech gives you the energy and lust
  9. #9
    I want to sniff Mayberry's asshole.
  10. #10
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