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ER Nurse Pickup Lines

  1. #1
    Post them here and I will post what happens when I try them on ER Nurses
  2. #2
    This thread was motivated by extreme agitation at the nurses at my recent ER visit and I can't quite figure out why

    And also because I have it on good authority that ER Nurses and doctors just take meth and fuck for hours on their time off and I wanted some of that action

    I now feel bad for having made this thread
  3. #3
    Number13 African Astronaut [dispute my snotty-nosed seagull]
    I heard nurses have to jack off patients that can't do it themselves, sounds like bullshit but you should ask.
  4. #4
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    https://www.quora.com/Are-nurses-ever-required-to-give-handjobs-as-part-of-a-medical-procedure
  5. #5
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Fonaplats https://www.quora.com/Are-nurses-ever-required-to-give-handjobs-as-part-of-a-medical-procedure

    It's apparantly a thing in some regions around the world, but definitely not commonplace, and almost certainly never required.
  6. #6
    Originally posted by MOON PERSON T-PAIN masturbated in your Croutons and MORALLY SUPERIOR BEINGS for natural male enhancement
  7. #7
    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
    Originally posted by Number13 I heard nurses have to jack off patients that can't do it themselves, sounds like bullshit but you should ask.

    sounds like a quick way to get naproxen instead of real pain meds. I rather not go to the hospital and just fuck and drink with nurses on their only day off.
  8. #8
    Box Wine Houston
    Originally posted by frumbob 🐎🦄🐈🐯🐷🦊

    HOLY SHIT

    HE FIGURED OUT THE PURPOSE OF THE ACCOUNT

    HE NEVER REALISED WHAT WORD FILTЕRS WERE UNTIL NOW!!!!!!!

    NOBODY KNEW WHAT IT WAS BEFORE HIM!!!!!!

    SPOO IS A MOTHERFUCKING GENIUS!!!111
  9. #9
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    Yo Tech, you ever jerk off any of your patients?
  10. #10
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Fonaplats Yo Tech, you ever jerk off any of your patients?

    I'm pretty sure her patients are just getting their pictures taken, so to speak.

    It's kind of an in and out procedure.
  11. #11
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    One time I was in the ER strapped to a bed... Like, literally strapped to a bed. Like Hannibal Lecter... I was all strung out and told them I masturbate every night, so I was gonna do it right then and there.

    I started stroking my cock as best as I could given the (literal) constraints I was facing.

    One of the nurses was just like... "Ok, you can sleep in the holding tank if you're gonna do that."

    Then they put me in the holding tank.

    As it turns out, hospitals have them and not just police stations.

    It was identical to a police station drunk tank, though.
  12. #12
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Fonaplats Yo Tech, you ever jerk off any of your patients?

    Pretty sure she sucks them off.
  13. #13
    STER0S African Astronaut [the disappointingly unanticipated slab]
    Originally posted by Number13 I heard nurses have to jack off patients that can't do it themselves, sounds like bullshit but you should ask.

    there was a video DiStOrTiOn posted back on zoklet of a nurse beating off a mentally retarded kid.

    'twas delightful.
  14. #14
    Fonaplats victim of incest [daylong jump-start that nome]
    I could see Tech jerkin kids off.
    Whenever i get an xray they always want me in loose clothes with no buttons buckles or zippers and one time i forgot and they handed me these little paper booty shorts to put on.
  15. #15
    nurse, my penis !

    its not breathing.
  16. #16
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny nurse, my penis !

    its not breathing.

    take it out at the police station and ask them to rough it up
  17. #17
    Originally posted by aldra take it out at the police station and ask them to rough it up

    no, all it needs is a little mouth-to-mouth.
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