2019-06-22 at 3:25 PM UTC
Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
So as an extremely pasty white man who is a practising Muslim, I enjoy tripping people out sometimes. I was in a grocery store in a rural area a month or so ago and ended up chatting with an elderly lady in the produce aisle. After a friendly conversation I said "Ramadan Mubarak al salamu alaykum" and watched her eyes grow huge and frightened.
A couple weeks later I went in a persian rug store with a young skinny obviously white guy wearing a ball cap that probably had a brand of farm equipment on it. I asked if they had sajjadat al salat (prayer mats) and the probably persian owner said no and I asked him how he can have a rug store with so many nice rugs and none are for prayer. He asked me who I prayed to and I scrunched up my face and looked at him like he had 3 heads and asked "who else is there to pray to but allah?" I think I asked him who he prayed to as well. I said a few arabic words and he asked how I knew arabic enough to pray and obviously spiritual parlance and I acted like I didn't know what he was talking about and left, indicating to my friend that this place was bullshit because they didn't have prayer mats (he's not anything close to Muslim but went along with it even tho we didn't plan it)
How are some other ways to make people nervous being an extremely white person who can say things in Arabic and knows a bit about culture and Islam? I'm trying to think of a way to imply I was indoctrinated by Syrian refugees while still sounding believable.
Dickbus
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2019-06-22 at 3:28 PM UTC
tell them you're going to blow them up
2019-06-22 at 3:34 PM UTC
Always wear large backpacks
2019-06-22 at 3:39 PM UTC
Dress in Muslim attire and carry a holdall. 👍
2019-06-22 at 3:52 PM UTC
Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
These would work better in smaller rural areas, like if I walked around in muslim attire and left a bookbag by a small towns statue at their library or something. I thought about going in a butcher shop and asking if there's anything halal in there and angrily curse in arabic when they can't say definitively nothing has touched pork. Also it would be fun to tell girls at the beach to show modesty. I doubt I could keep a straight face though
2019-06-22 at 3:55 PM UTC
I was really stoned and forgot my backpack on a park bench, when I got up everyone was staring at me and I walked home before I noticed I left it on the bench and nobody went near it lol
2019-06-22 at 3:58 PM UTC
This post has been edited by a bot I made to preserve my privacy.
