2019-05-02 at 4:34 AM UTC
Fonaplats
victim of incest
[daylong jump-start that nome]
Not a whole lot new on my end guys.
Staying sober without any real difficulty.
I have had some thoughts about drinking more but I have come this far and the other night I gave the rest of my beer I was saving (just in case I wanted a drink) to a co-worker.
I looked at the beers as I was about to bring them out to him and I paused for a second and asked myself if I should keep a couple...
It only took a second and I regained my focus and promptly got rid of all such thoughts.
Chell is planning on moving out soon and we have talked about moving in together.
We have a lot to talk about.
I am going to try and make some short term goals to work toward now that I am sober and have a clear head.
I really think I should start with some simple stuff just to build my confidence back up and motivate myself more.
I am really looking forward to continuing to improve my quality of life.
Last year I made a goal to hold my job for a year.
Well in that year I have gotten $1.65 in raises (.50 was because of min wage going up)
Anyways I achieved that goal.
I have been asking myself if this is what I want to keep doing?
I feel I should at least work there for a little while longer until I get a car and can more easily obtain new employment if I do choose to try something else.
That is some of the shit that runs through my mind on the daily.
Along with my mind constantly repeating any and every stupid little insignificant part of my day a gazillion times which only builds the frustration I feel for little dumb shit that really doesn't effect me all that damn much.
At work I like a challenge so when I walk into work and see that great big dildo that is suction cupped to the floor for me to gape my ass hole around and sit on while I clean up whatever messes 1st shift left for me and also getting to play catch up when I am actually suppose to always be 2 hours ahead when I get to work so that I have time to help set everything up for the day and figure out all the information I need for my day and get my paper work all done.
Lately it has been kinda like getting thrown into a paint can shaker when I get to work.
But the new guy doing my job on first has only been there a month and there is a hell of a lot to learn too.
I have been there a year so I am much more comfortable probably than he is.
I feel as those I have been talking shit and hating on him.
I feel horrible I have taken the route of bitching.
What I am going to do from now on is, when I get to work I am just going to try and talk to him as much as I can and hopefully if he needs help with something I can help him and at the same time I can hopefully let him know what I need too.
We get along so why not?
I mean everyone will bitch at everyone at work just cuz we at work.
But at the end of the day we are family too and I can't fuck family.
Listen guys...
I got so much on my mind and I could waste all day making this thread but I do have to get a few things done tonight.
I am planning on going to Chell's home after work.
So as always,
I love you guys very much.
Talk to you soon.
Fona-fone (937) 522-1751
