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I present to thee, the black magic wizardry of converting famous speeches to use the least syllables possible...

  1. #1
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Original Text: The first few paragraphs from Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" Speech.

    Stats (number of words that contain n syllables):
    477 where n = 1.
    169 where n = 2.
    65 where n = 3.
    34 where n = 4.
    8 where n = 5.

    Total number of syllables used in text: 477*1 + 169*2 + 65*3 + 34*4 + 8*5 = 477 + 338 + 195 + 136 + 40 = 1186.




    Converted Text:

    Stats (number of words that contain n syllables):
    659 where n = 1.
    55 where n = 2.
    16 where n = 3.
    17 where n = 4.
    6 where n = 5.

    Total syllables = 659*1 + 55*2 + 16*3 + 17*4 + 6*5 = 659 + 110 + 48 + 68 + 30 = 915.

    I am glad to join with you now in what will go down in bill as the cracking show for freedom in the bill of our land.

    Quint scotch years ago, a great American, in whose symbolic dwarf we stand now signed the Emancipation Proclamation. This momentous fiat hail as a great beacon light of trust to 1000000 of Black slaves who had been seared in the flames of shrink injustice. It hail as a joyous dayspring to end the long night of their pound.

    But one hundred years old the Black still is not free. One hundred years old the living of the Black is still sadly crippled by the cuff of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years old the Black lives on a lonely island of poverty in the midst of a vast sea of stuff prosperity. One hundred years old the Black is still yearn in the tree of American guild and finds himself an bear in his own land. And so we've cum here now to pad a shocking train.

    In a smell we've cum to our land cap to cash a check. When the architects of our land spell the bright words of the Constitution and the press of Independence, they be signing a promissory mark to which every American was to fall heir. This mark was a call that all men, yes, black men as well as blank men, would be vouch the "unalienable Rights" of living Liberty and the quest of Happiness." It is obvious now that US has defaulted on this promissory mark so_far as her citizens of gloss are touch Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, US has hand the Black mass a bad check, a check which has cum back marked lacking funds."

    But we scraps to think that the bank of DoJ is ruin We scraps to think that there are lacking funds in the great vaults of risk of this land And so, we've cum to cash this check, a check that will hand us upon ask the riches of freedom and the security of DoJ.

    We own too cum to this bless spot to cue US of the tearing urging of Now. This is no clip to plight in the luxury of cooling off or to shoot the quiet drug of gradualism. Now is the clip to earn real the call of land Now is the clip to grow from the dark and bleak valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial DoJ Now is the clip to lift our land from the quicksands of racial injustice to the strong rock of mating Now is the clip to earn DoJ a world for all of God's kid.

    It would be black for the land to miss the urging of the mo This sweltering summer of the Black legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an thrill fall of freedom and par XIX sixty-three is not an end, but a start And those who trust that the Black needed to blow off steam and will now be field will own a ill-bred viewing if the land pass to job as usual. And there will be neither rest nor quiet in US until the Black is granted his citizenship rights. The whirlwinds of rising will stay_on to sway the founding of our land until the bright day of DoJ emerges.

    But there is something that I must say to my mass who stand on the warm door which leads into the rook of DoJ In the march of gaining our true aim we must not be shamed of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek to fill our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of gall and hatred. We must e'er doings our shin on the high skim of self-worth and field We must not grant our creative protest to fast into strong-arm violence. Again and again, we must grow to the proud heights of meeting strong-arm ram with soul ram.

    The rattling new militancy which has steep the Black community must not lead us to a distrust of all blank mass for many of our blank pal as tell by their bearing here now own cum to earn that their lot is tied up with our lot And they own cum to earn that their freedom is inextricably bound to our freedom.

    We cannot walk alone.

    And as we walk, we must earn the plight that we shall e'er march leading.

    We cannot turn back.

    Unfortunately, paragraphs were not preserved (a minor and relatively easily fixable issue, but the whims of my ADHD are pulling me in other directions now)... I added them manually as best as I could, though.

    With a reduction of 271 (1186 - 915) vowels, how well has the meaning been preserved?

    I set a thesaurus search recursion limit of 50. Adjusting that could have potentially different results, but also could just waste valuable computing resources.
  2. #2
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    By the way, I didn't pick this speech in particular for any specific reasons other than it's a well-known, famous speech, known for it's persuasiveness and being well-communicated.

    I never intended to make light of what was, historically speaking, a very important event for Civil Rights.
  3. #3
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Conclusion: I just wasted a few hours writing code that has virtually no real-world usefulness.

    It was kinda fun though. Not gonna lie.
  4. #4
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    I tried changing the recursion limit from 50 to 1000 (it's a relatively short portion of text, so it only took a few minutes to process)...

    The results are negligible.

    In fact, it somehow has slightly fewer mono-syllabic words (657 instead of 659), and more syllables total (from 915 to 922).



    Some of the meaning seems better preserved though... I don't know.
  5. #5
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    jedimatria.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. #6
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by aldra jedimatria.

    Interesting... TIL about Gematria.
  7. #7
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    I actually thought that's what you were talking about after skimming OP
  8. #8
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by aldra I actually thought that's what you were talking about after skimming OP

    Nah, it's just about a useless bit of code I wrote to minimize the number of syllables used in a string of text.

    I can't think of a single practical use for it.

    Maybe if it were tweaked a bit better, it could be used as a program that essentially "dumbs down" a string of text.

    Kinda like an automated version of Simple Wikipedia or whatever it's called.

    Funnily enough, I think it could be used in the opposite direction for a lot of amusement. You could multiply the pretentiousness of a piece of text to the nth degree. That might at least be more entertaining.
  9. #9
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Holy shit, I just realized the implications this could have for academic plagiarism.

    I could sell papers online to college students.

    If it's a common enough topic they have to write it on, I can just find another paper on the subject, and swap every few words for one with a low lexical distance, and boom, unlimited variations available.

    Except I wouldn't do that though because academic integrity is important to me.

    Not even playin' when I say that. I could prolly get hella rich off of this, but I refuse to because academic plagiarism isn't right.
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