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Old white women make me sick

  1. #21
    Bologna Nacho African Astronaut
    You back to drinking again?
  2. #22
    Anecdotally speaking...
  3. #23
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Khakis are no good…when you're drunk and dribble piss on them it stands out like crazy…I always wear black pants/jeans when I go drinking…I also avoid silk boxers due to their absorbancy issues.

    Why don’t you just slap on a pair of depends and call it a day?
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  4. #24
    tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
    Haha boo didn't we just discuss depends last nite?? It's a sign!!!!!!
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. #25
    Originally posted by ohfralala Why don’t you just slap on a pair of depends and call it a day?

    Can't wear depends under skinny jeans fatty!

    Edit (fatties, plural)
  6. #26
    Only fags and women wear skinny jeans mate.
  7. #27
    Soyboy III: The Quest for 911 Truth Tuskegee Airman [oppositely expose the hypermetropia]
    Old white women live like 10 years longer than old white men.

    Dunno if that's a good thing though.
  8. #28
    Originally posted by ohfralala Only fags and women wear skinny jeans mate.

    And goths.
  9. #29
    Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING III: The Quest for 911 Truth Old white women live like 10 years longer than old white men.

    Dunno if that's a good thing though.

    Tortoises can live to be over 200...

  10. #30
    Archer513 African Astronaut
    Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING III: The Quest for 911 Truth Old white women miserably exist like 10 years longer than old white men.

    Fixed
  11. #31
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson And goths.

    And skinny people.

    @Grimmy you forgot the absolute worst- the sweetheart grandma that looks just as young and spry as ever and always gets you a stupid fucking roll of quarters for Christmas even when you're in your mid 30s as if that's gonna fucking help you out.

    Gee thanks, Grandma.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. #32
    mikeyagain African Astronaut [unalterably regard the persecutor]
    I live for the weekends, when someone other than fake Jig and Archer can get a post in..
  13. #33
    GGG victim of incest [my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
    Old black women are worse. They're demonic. They've got these long death nails that will slice through your fat belly like a pastry cutter. They're obnoxiously loud, and can't even cook good food. Their master recipe is oftentimes just alterations on kraft mac n cheese because they have no real culture.
  14. #34
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    I have nothing against elderly white women; in fact, they seem to adore me for being polite and clean. If I discovered RBG's breast in an orgy, I would gladly provide stimulation.
  15. #35
    Mewsik African Astronaut [diagonally photosensitise my summation]
    Originally posted by Grimace They usually come in three flavors, no matter where you go or where you see them:

    Exhibit A: Obnoxiously Loud & Boisterous Old White Woman



    You can literally spot this variety from a mile away, what with their OFFENSIVELY LOUD and NASALLY voices that dominate the entire general area. They also have some sort of flamboyant and bizarre hair style and color, usually some shade of red or purple or an AMALGAMATION of both. They favor pungent, room permeating perfumes of the MUSK & MOTHBALL variety and cover up their VIRGINIA SLIM breath with a horrible candy like WERTHER'S ORIGINAL CARAMELS or generic Dollar Store peppermint. They're known for their flaring, irrational tempers especially when confronted with something they don't understand, and enjoy complaining about literally everything.

    Exhibit B: Senile Old White Woman



    Unlike Obnoxiously Loud & Boisterous Old White Woman, Senile Old White Woman is awkwardly quiet. She often avoids eye contact and speaks in mumbles or hushed tones. When speaking to this variety, she often replies with "Huh?" or "What?" to the point it becomes maddeningly frustrating. You will find this variety in sweat pants and sweaters, usually, even when it's 100F (37.7C) outside. This variety will also create delusions of what is really happening within her mind. For example, she might come to you to explain that she needs help with her computer because "the alien cows are hacking her satellite television and using it to gain access to her computer to disable her AOL e-mail". This variety is extremely paranoid, suspicious, and can often not be reasoned with.

    And finally…

    Exhibit C: Raging Bitch Old White Woman



    Avoid this one. She can be identified by a PERMANENT SCOWL that has been seared onto her face by decades of rage. She is the most hateful of the 3 primary varieties of old white women. She BEGINS conversations with DEMANDS in aggressive tones and manners and will not work with you on any level. It's "HER WAY or the HIGHWAY", so to speak. Similar to Obnoxiously Loud & Boisterous Old White Woman, she also loves to complain about literally EVERYTHING. She is incapable of achieving happiness or satisfaction. No amount of effort is good enough.

    And there you have it. The 3 primary varieties of old white woman. There are also some lesser sub-varieties than deserve honorable mentions and they include:

    Wealthy Upper Class & Entitled Old White Woman
    Fat & Disgusting Low Class Garbage Old White Woman
    Bull-Dyke Old White Woman
    And others

    Time to die, ladies. Your time here has been long enough and everyone knows it.

    Yay! I’m not an old white woman 😁😇😍👍
  16. #36
    Originally posted by Zanick I have nothing against elderly white women; in fact, they seem to adore me for being polite and clean. If I discovered RBG's breast in an orgy, I would gladly provide stimulation.

    As if Ruth would ever partake in such activities
  17. #37
    Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]
    Originally posted by ohfralala Side note: Panny has on pleated khakis today

    You LIE!
  18. #38
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Originally posted by ohfralala As if Ruth would ever partake in such activities

    She would if she knew I was going to be there. As I said, I'm irresistible to old white women.
  19. #39
    Touché
  20. #40
    Originally posted by Grimace You LIE!

    I would never!
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