2018-12-12 at 2:20 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks
To me, it seems like the whole point is to have high expectations, and to continually be striving towards them throughout your whole life, and maybe that's where meaning comes from.
Reading a bunch of Nietzsche kinda inspired that way of thinking in me.
If you're always striving towards some goal or better version of yourself, you're always occupied.
life has no meaning other than what we make of it.
some people, they live for the means.
some people, they die for the ends.
some people, vice versa.
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2018-12-12 at 3:39 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks
Where does one get a copy of Chicken Soup for Faggots?
The author used to have it available on amazon but he doesn't stand by his own writing so he took it down. Now faggots are left to wander in the dark with no chicken soup. It's really pretty tragic.
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2018-12-12 at 3:42 AM UTC
why am i hearing the sounds of person getting personal attack.
2018-12-12 at 3:43 AM UTC
maybe you're in a bad neighborhood and someone outside is being attacked, personally.
2018-12-12 at 3:44 AM UTC
*leaves bad neighborhood*
2018-12-12 at 4:42 AM UTC
Kind of what mq said....I remember a time when my brain chemistry was "right" and I was active and articulate and inspired, creative, spontaneous. I keep thinking that maybe when I get my shut together, I'll be okay again. I also acknowledge that I've barely given life a shot. I know I'm capable of finishing school. I know I'm capable of running a business. I know I have more than average empathy for people, and I genuinely like helping people. I know at the very least I'm above average intelligence wise. For all his rhetoric, malice refused to engage with life and people around him, and take the steps needed to live a fulfilling life. Then again his brain chemistry was kinda fucked too.
Idk. There's a Remington 870 and a box of #4 shot shells in my closet. There's that lingering feeling that I might be okay again, and that if I dont wait long enough, I might miss out. But if there comes a day where I'm fairly certain that's no longer the case, I'll rent a car, pack up my stuff, find a quiet spot somewhere with a view, wrap a towel and a tarp around my head and duct tape it there (since it seems so selfish to leave that gross mess for someone to have to clean up), and punch my ticket. And it won't be a sad thing. It'll just mean I'm too tired to do this anymore. But mostly I think people who are this depressed just don't have the energy to Do the things that will actually make you happy.
As shortlived as it was, just spending nights in bed with the girl I was with, and talking about kids and life and being a weird introverted kid...did wonders for my headspace. It's so easy to feel disconnected and inhuman and unhappy when you're disconnected and out of touch with everything around you. I've come to understand that happiness isn't something you just stumble into. It's lazy and selfish and natural to feel this way. But health and happiness is something you have to actively work towards and I think that's what Malice just couldn't wrap his head around. He was so furious at the injustice of life, like an incel furious at the world at large. But the truth was, he didn't try. I tried to connect with him. Others did too. It was too much effort for him.
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2018-12-12 at 5:13 AM UTC
I hate when I see the word "chemistry" and I'm like "nice, bombs and drugs" and then it's just some gay shit about brain transistors and psychology
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2018-12-12 at 5:17 AM UTC
The hope that Lanny will make me an otter emoji
Help save a life Lanny
Lanny
2018-12-12 at 5:21 AM UTC
Oh quit being such an insufferable shit stain
2018-12-12 at 9:57 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks
I haven't brought it up yet in this thread, but that's also a part of the motivation I have to keep going, and would be a great source of guilt in suicide.
Everyone talks about the guilt that goes with leaving people grieving, but there's also the guilt of taking life for granted when others didn't even get the chance.
I had a friend OD when he was 19 (I was 21). It's part of what motivates me to try new things all the time and to take risks (of a certain variety - i.e. not necessarily daredevilism or anything over the top) in life. It's part of why I have a lot of ambitious goals that I work towards. It would be a tremendous insult to someone who died so young if I took my life for granted.
Yeah man there are a lot of worthwhile reasons to stick around. Doing it for those who couldn't is at the top of the list.
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2018-12-12 at 2:08 PM UTC
6 figures in San Francisco area is near poverty level.
2018-12-12 at 2:09 PM UTC
If the bus service is anything like it was back in England when I lived there, you wait and wait and wait...the bus never shows up...then after you've started walking 3 of them pass you by.
