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Are you good at job interviews?

  1. #1
    Soyboy III: The Quest for 911 Truth Tuskegee Airman [oppositely expose the hypermetropia]
    I'm studying interview questions and responses.

    I fucked up previous interviews
    basically by being myself.
  2. #2
    kush_blunt Houston
    "Hi I'm buddy buttfucker. Let's get to work!"
  3. #3
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    I get every job without an interview. All I do is show up, talk to the guy for a bit, then and I get the job. It's all about how you handle yourself. If you pigeon-hole yourself into this concept of "what a good job interview should be like", you lose perspective of why you're really there. At best, what you do is just play it by ear and respond naturally and logically and not even consider it an interview at all. You have to stand back from the thing to see it for what it really is. Of course, if you're applying for a job, you should know your stuff and be able to provide documentation, but all the rest should be improvised on the spot.
  4. #4
    esbity African Astronaut
    Learn to lie well. Make sure to have a story for every job that explains how good of an employee you are and how you planned your departure from the employer. Never admit to being fired. Give stories of your professionalism based on what you've seen from other coworkers. Make sure to add in achievements like Emplpyee Of The Month and various safety awards.

    Look them in the eye during all of this and believe and live what you're telling them.
  5. #5
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    I'm not that good at interviews, I mainly get jobs through connections.

    So, lesson of the day: NETWORK.

    As cliché as it sounds, it's not what you know, it's who you know.

    Actually, in my case, it's both. I may lack people skills when I'm sober, but I know how to do what I do really, really well; and I network like crazy when I'm drunk.

    Moral of story:
    1. Become really good at whatever it is that you do.
    2. Network like crazy.
    2b. If you're socially inept when sober, then drink a lot, and then network a lot.

    Job interviews become much less important when you satisfy the above criteria. At that point, interviews are usually simply a formality.
  6. #6
    GGG victim of incest [my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
    I am dead solid at interviews. I've never struggled with them somehow. I only have a problem when they ask the dumb corporate questions like 'wud u steal' and 'wat candybar r u'
  7. #7
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by GGG 'wat candybar r u'

    Mr. Big.

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  8. #8
    Ajax African Astronaut [rumor the placative aphakia]
    Originally posted by esbity Learn to lie well. Make sure to have a story for every job that explains how good of an employee you are and how you planned your departure from the employer. Never admit to being fired. Give stories of your professionalism based on what you've seen from other coworkers. Make sure to add in achievements like Emplpyee Of The Month and various safety awards.

    Look them in the eye during all of this and believe and live what you're telling them.

    This, minus the lying. Have a handful of stories ready that you can apply to a variety of questions.

    Focus on accomplishments and results more so than what your previous jobs were. You can mention a summary of what you did, but focus more on what you got done and how you did it.

    Look up the STAR method for behavioral interviewing. STAR stands for Situation, Task, Action, and Result. Thinking like that will help you out.
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  9. #9
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Interviews aren't really a big deal. I organize my thoughts in preparation for important conversations in a journal already, and this seems to be a useful strategy for me. I believe I come across as polite, knowledgeable, and composed.
  10. #10
    Flatulant_bomb Tuskegee Airman
    Luckily in my profession, they need me more than I need them. The "interview" usually turns into what do I want in order for me to work for them.
  11. #11
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Ajax Look up the STAR method for behavioral interviewing. STAR stands for Situation, Task, Action, and Result. Thinking like that will help you out.

    I'm pretty surprised to see the STAR technique mentioned.

    It really is a good framework for answering interview questions.

    Anyone who skipped that post but still saw mine: Learn about the STAR framework.

    It is universally applicable in any kind of job interview.
  12. #12
    Flatulant_bomb Tuskegee Airman
    What kind of job are you begging for? Maybe ask for an on-the-job interview. Work for a day and see what they think.
  13. #13
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Flatulant_bomb What kind of job are you begging for? Maybe ask for an on-the-job interview. Work for a day and see what they think.

    In theory, I love this idea. But in reality, I've never seen anyone actually pull it off.

    The whole idea is pretty cool, you literally show them why you're worth hiring.

    But there are all kinda of legal loops to jump through and paperwork and bureaucratic bullshit that very few employers will actually go for this kind of offer, sadly.
  14. #14
    Flatulant_bomb Tuskegee Airman
    Our sister department does it all the time. We are a small company so maybe we don't fall under some regulations.
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  15. #15
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    I'm pretty good at the technical part of interviews, at least relative most people interviewing for the same kind of positions. And I'm not quite enough of a social retard to totally wreck that during soft skills type questions, so interviews tend to go pretty well for me.

    I figure it's better to be up front about it: I don't really know what my employer's business goals are or how I'm going to make them happen, don't really care. I do my thing pretty well in an industry that has a lot of incompetents. Dentist doesn't need to know why his clients need healthy teeth and an attractive smile, Lanny doesn't need to know how your website or app or software package makes money.
  16. #16
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Flatulant_bomb Our sister department does it all the time. We are a small company so maybe we don't fall under some regulations.

    Like I said, I love the whole idea.

    I remember seeing a TED talk many years ago where someone suggested doing it, and I thought it was brilliant.

    But unfortunately, being a voluntary intern just isn't as simple as it sounds in theory.

    And it sucks, because showing a potential employer your skills before they have to invest even a single cent seems pretty reasonable all around.
  17. #17
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    I used to like the idea of an on-the-job interview, still do like it in theory, but then I got burned on stupid "take home assignment" things in interview processes which boil down to an employer asking for several hours of your time as a screening process. That shit is a scam and I won't be doing another one. I imagine "come work for me for a day" would be an even more exploitable model.
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  18. #18
    Ajax African Astronaut [rumor the placative aphakia]
    Originally posted by Lanny I'm pretty good at the technical part of interviews, at least relative most people interviewing for the same kind of positions. And I'm not quite enough of a social retard to totally wreck that during soft skills type questions, so interviews tend to go pretty well for me.

    I figure it's better to be up front about it: I don't really know what my employer's business goals are or how I'm going to make them happen, don't really care. I do my thing pretty well in an industry that has a lot of incompetents. Dentist doesn't need to know why his clients need healthy teeth and an attractive smile, Lanny doesn't need to know how your website or app or software package makes money.

    That’s literally why there is an industry of people who are a go-between who translate business needs for users who don’t understand code into use cases for coders who don’t understand business needs and vice versa.
  19. #19
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by Lanny I used to like the idea of an on-the-job interview, still do like it in theory, but then I got burned on stupid "take home assignment" things in interview processes which boil down to an employer asking for several hours of your time as a screening process. That shit is a scam and I won't be doing another one. I imagine "come work for me for a day" would be an even more exploitable model.

    Yeah, that's exactly it. In theory it's a cool idea, but soooo easily exploitable.

    Admittedly, I kinda did that to get the job I have today. I did a bunch of work on a 'proof of concept' type thing for them for very little pay, but it did ultimately result in a job.

    While part of it was hard work and raw talent, there was definitely an element of luck. When the startup went public, a lot of people ended up disappearing. I could have easily been one of them.

    One cool thing about software development, though, is that, at the end of the day, you still have something to show for all your hard work. The whole time I was doing this internship-type thing, I was building a portfolio and thinking about how I could use what I'm creating right now to leverage myself at any other company.
  20. #20
    Flatulant_bomb Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by gadzooks Like I said, I love the whole idea.

    I remember seeing a TED talk many years ago where someone suggested doing it, and I thought it was brilliant.

    But unfortunately, being a voluntary intern just isn't as simple as it sounds in theory.

    And it sucks, because showing a potential employer your skills before they have to invest even a single cent seems pretty reasonable all around.

    We hire "tradesman" which might be different than corporate type jobs.
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