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The real reason why §m£ÂgØL hitchhikes everywhere

  1. #1
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    He flew on a plane once. I know because I was there.

    Overnight from Montana to Colorado. we were set to hit Denver at 6am local time. I boarded the plane and took my place in coach. Aisle seat three rows back from the front. I arrived early and was first after the preboarders so I watched the procession file in. Typical Midwest trash. Ruffled suits and business casual jeans. Among them I saw a short, stout bespeckled spic in amongst the trash. His chubby face familiar to me, I watched him prance by with a bounce in his step. I stared at my tray tables placed in the fully upright position and pondered my involuntary recollection.

    §m£ÂgØL

    I turned my head a full 180 to look behind and saw he was also seated on the aisle a mere 2 rows back. I turned to the front and waited for boarding to finish while I concocted my plan

    The Captain made his announcements and the stewardesses demonstrated the flotation devices. During this §m£ÂgØL looked entirely uninterested, instead seeming to stare at the runway outside at the air traffic controllers milling around. The plane took off with §m£ÂgØLs face grinning from ear to ear as his man titties bounced from the turbulence.

    I watched the stewardess make her rounds asking if any drinks were on order and I heard a squeaky, slightly Hispanic voice squeal "diet Dr pepper please"
    "oh, let me just make sure we have it." §m£ÂgØLs face looked brimming with curious optimism. This was clearly his favorite drink.
    "Here it is" the stewardess said as she look out a small plastic cup and handed the $6 can to §m£ÂgØL. He lapped it up ferociously.
    when the stewardess made her way up my end I ordered a whiskey neat and Dr pepper delivered to the man on the aisle two rows back. Told her to say it was from a friend. §m£ÂgØL looked up, midway through drawing a picture of a horse he saw once which looked exactly like every other horse he had ever seen, to the waitress presenting him with another elixer to slide down his throat, fizzy and satisfying. I finished my drink as I heard the pop of his can. I knew I had to move quickly and carefully.

    I scanned the plane for those most likely to use the bathroom. The late night trajectory of the flight meant few kids about. Most were pretty dazed, reading, listening to music and sitting with their eyes closed. §m£ÂgØL looked wired and intently drawing his horse on the tray table, his tongue poking out with feverish intensity. He was adequately distracted and the other plane passengers bladders looked intact. I had to get into position. I moved as quickly to the bathroom as I could and shut the door without locking.

    I quickly disrobed, taking my button up, undershirt and trousers off in seconds. Socks and shoes next, placing them on the vast change table opposite the toilet. In the mirror I caught a delicious look at my face. My heart beating with anticipation I stood awaiting the manchild I was anticipating, potentially risking discovery from any sleet eyed traveller feeling the call of nature late at night. When my heart felt as if it were about to explode I heard a knock.

    Two raps. I prayed it was whom I was so eagerly awaiting, my pole at half last already, I felt it rise as the door opened and I found myself face to face with the dumpy four eyed Mexican I had been so hotly anticipating. I gathered him in my horrible arms by his Rob Paul 2012 campaign shirt and without so much as a small cry managed to close and lock the bathroom door.

    I ripped his shirt down the middle at the neck. The look of sheer terror on his face was delightful and I allowed him to turn to the door. Bad move. I grabbed the back of his greasy Mexican mane and led his head over the toilet bowl. With my right hand I pulled his sweatpants to the floor. He started to squeal and tremble and I moved my left from his hair to his mouth. "Don't say a word or you'll be going out the toilet chute boy, you're my little piggy and I'm goin to turn you into bacon." He trembled while nodding his head twice. I wasted no time in thrusting my rock hard member into his puckered and already gaping ass. Someone had clearly been hoping for something like this. §m£ÂgØL squealed in pain like someone burned with a hot pan. I grunted at his weakness.

    I thrust again even harder and he closed his eyes and winced in pain, almost biting my hand. I moved my hands to either side of his cheeks, fishhooking his mouth and pulling back with each forward thrust. His cries were becoming audible with his new air cavity so I told him to shut up you disgusting little piggy. I told him I was taking him to the slaughterhouse and he tried his best to contain his elated whimpers. The bitch was still too loud.

    I grabbed him by the back of his neck and pulled his head to mine. "you like it up the poop chute do you?" I whispered.
    "yes sir" gulped §m£ÂgØL.
    "Lift the seat up"
    I shoved his fat arms and face down into the blue sanitation chemicals lurking under the seat while still inside him. I positioned myself behind him and spread his cheeks to their widest while smashing my thighs into his chubby Mexican ass. The smacking Getting louder and louder with added intensity as §m£ÂgØL could scream his elated cries into the toilet bowl "yes daddy" "Oh God Yes" "Si Si Senor" made a hollow echo from the bottom of the bowl.

    "Is everything all right in there?" asked the stewardess from outside the bathroom.

    "Oh yes, just having a real growler" I said without missing a thrust. This gave the little sneak a chase to move his blue stained hand to outside the toilet and rub his short bent dick for a few seconds before I felt his body tense up with ejaculation onto the bathroom floor.

    "You piece of shit" I growled "I didn't say you could do that."

    "I'm sorry I'm sorry" came his cries from beneath the bowl. I gripped his love handles and mashed his anus into my cock as he squealed in pain. I pulled his love handles again and lead his head from the toilet to the bathroom floor.

    On his knees he winced, seemingly asking permission to look at me. "Do it" I said. He proceeded careful of looking at me. Working his mouth over the bulbous end of my cock and working the shaft with his blue hand. He sucked like it was for the value of his own soul, gagging as I grabbed him by the one spot on his head and face that wasn't covered with the blue toilet chemicals. I looked down and say some on my cock. I yanked his head away and beat my cock into his left eye. "Look what you've done" I said. "I'm sorry I'm sorry" §m£ÂgØL said studying the blue marks that his face and hand had left. I grabbed his greasy dirty chubby Mexican hair and shoved his head into my cock again. He made a sound like regurgitating a chicken bone underwater. I worked his throat until it was adequately penetrated then pulled out and used my hand to work the end as §m£ÂgØLs eyes looked at my handicraft in respectful awe. I beat him across his fat Mexican cheeks with it and he closed his eyes. "keep your eyes open bitch" I said "A real man dies with his eyes open" I worked the end as I looked down and caught §m£ÂgØL playing with his tiny penis again. I kneed him in the face quickly and he covered it with his hand as he wailed.

    "Are you sure everything's alright in there?" the same stewardesses voice chimed through the door.

    "Shut up it's so close to out" I yelled. I reached down and removed §m£ÂgØLs hand from his eye, reapplied it to my cock and shot my hot steamy jizz into his already swollen eye. I exhaled deeply and moved my cock over to his right eye now which I also filled with hot cum. §m£ÂgØL looked frightened and bewildered but had his tongue poking out with the same intensity he had used in his work of art back in his seat. I exhaled deeply and said "Now clean me up §m£ÂgØL"

    He looked shocked and looked upon my face for the first time. it was a look of reverence, respect and admiration. He stayed on his knees as he wet paper towels and used them to clean the blue goo from my mid section even as blue goo and semen was currently drying upon his.

    "How did you know my name?"
    "I know a lot of things."
    "I bet you do"
    "Now dress me"

    he reached to the back of the changing table. I kneed him in the chin this time. "clean your hands first before you touch my clothes" He nodded his head solemnly and avoided my gaze. He stood up and washed his hands in the sink. I saw from behind he was bleeding but seemed not to notice or care. His legs were quivering and in the mirror I could see a faint smile beneath his dirty greasy Mexican 5 o'clock shadow mustache.

    He took my underwear first before my socks and trousers.

    "Where are you going?"
    "same place as you...colorado"
    "well maybe..."
    "No, I don't think so, this was a one time thing kid."

    I buttoned my shirt up and he looked at me, on the floor, still with his sweatpants at his ankles. "What do you do?" he asked. An open ended question answered a myriad of ways.

    "I'm a long haul truck driver. What I just did to you I do to hitchhikers I meet all over this continent" §m£ÂgØL licked his lips and looked up at me hopefully.

    "I feel like I just became part of the Mile Deep Club" he said rubbing his swollen anus.

    "Shut the fuck up §m£ÂgØL" I replied "In one minute I'm going to leave this bathroom and you're going to try to clean yourself up to look like less of a Mexican piece of shit and then wait 3 minutes and then quietly return to your seat and never speak of this to anyone or I will kill you."

    "How long is three minutes?"

    "180 Mississippi's"

    "Ok, thank you" §m£ÂgØL said, possibly for telling him how long three minutes was or possibly for the whole encounter.

    "§m£ÂgØL, shut up" I said and quickly exited the bathroom. I made a beeline for my seat and sat down as quietly as I could. I called the stewardess over and distracted her with small talk as I ordered another glenfiddich and I saw §m£ÂgØL slink by behind her on his way to his seat. Torn shirt and smiling from ear to ear with blue patches over his face and shoulders. He looked right at me and as I glared at him he put his head down and tried to lose his smile. As we landed I made my way directly to the airport bar. I knew §m£ÂgØLs eyes were on the back of my head as I exited ahead of him and out of his life.


    In the bar I made small talk with a cute young dental hygienist from Seattle named Brandi. After a few drinks I asked her if she felt any pleasure seeing her patients wriggle in pain and close their eyes struck with fear? She laughed and said no thinking I was joking. Things changed between me and Brandi then. I looked for anyone else who looked moderately attractive or interesting and came up short. As I made my way to outside the terminal I looked over at the baggage carousel and saw a lone Mexican figure sitting on a ninja turtles bookbag like a small boy waiting for a parent to come home. He sighed and looked around, his poor Mexican eyesight missing my visage from the far exit doors. He was waiting to see if I had checked a bag and was now the last person waiting for someone that would never show up.

    I whistled for a cab and when it came near the license plate said fresh and there were dice in the mirror. I wondered if he would ever adopt a lifestyle which would cause him to interact with long haul truck drivers on a daily basis
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  2. #2
    Flatulant_bomb Tuskegee Airman
    He was hitchhiking and the plane stopped and picked you guys up?
  3. #3
    Grimace motherfucker [my enumerable hindi guideword]
    He doesn't though. He likes to call it that. He titled his book after that, but he reeeeeaaaallllly doesn't. He fucking Greyhounds everywhere. He might actually hitchhike ONCE on a journey, everything else is public, mass transit. He literally took a ride from a trucker ONCE and thought it was such a spiritual moment, it was LIFE CHANGING to him. When in fact, he Greyhound bussed the majority of the trip.
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  4. #4
    GGG victim of incest [my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
    I hitchhiked literally from my front door across the country for 3 days to my destination. I only took one bus that trip, for the ride back. I've also hitchhiked in Asia just to get back to my hotel a few times.

    Panthrax, everytime you tell the story you mess up a different fact. I literally published a book YOU read where i wrote about the entire 3 day journey. How the fuck are you gonna come on here and tell me a story different from the one you read. What are you basing your words on if not mine?

    I've also never claimed to have hitchhiked more than the once, before now.
  5. #5
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    I accidentally clicked submit before this thread was anywhere near done. I went and did other stuff then finished it.

    bonus points to anyone who articulates the parallels between it and cormac mccarthys blood meridian.
  6. #6
    GGG victim of incest [my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
    You spent entirely too long writing gay porn.
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  7. #7
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by GGG I hitchhiked literally from my front door across the country for 3 days to my destination. I only took one bus that trip, for the ride back. I've also hitchhiked in Asia just to get back to my hotel a few times.

    Panthrax, everytime you tell the story you mess up a different fact. I literally published a book YOU read where i wrote about the entire 3 day journey. How the fuck are you gonna come on here and tell me a story different from the one you read. What are you basing your words on if not mine?

    I've also never claimed to have hitchhiked more than the once, before now.

    You literally hitchhiked across the country to get fucked in the ass by a fat bitches husband. Don't try to make this thread not about that
  8. #8
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by GGG You spent entirely too long writing gay porn.

    how did you feel after reading it? I'm laughing pretty hard right now
  9. #9
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    this shitpost is infinitely better than your book

    panny if you have in fact read his book can you please post it?
  10. #10
    GGG victim of incest [my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
    Originally posted by Sudo You literally hitchhiked across the country to get fucked in the ass by a fat bitches husband. Don't try to make this thread not about that

    Yeah I did. And I'd get fucked in the ass by another fat husband too. I don't care about gender or size when it comes to sex, truly. Im big on faces and voice though.
  11. #11
    GGG victim of incest [my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
    Originally posted by Sudo how did you feel after reading it? I'm laughing pretty hard right now

    I didn't read it. I like gay porn but this was poorly written.

    I can help you with it if you want, maybe send some pics??
  12. #12
    Ghost Black Hole
    Triple G is a threat
  13. #13
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by GGG I didn't read it. I like gay porn but this was poorly written.

    I can help you with it if you want, maybe send some pics??

    I will send you some pics of whatever you want if you send me your magnum opus
  14. #14
    GGG victim of incest [my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
    $50 in crypto and I will send it to you. Panthrax doesn't have it, and he didn't read the full version.
  15. #15
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by GGG $50 in crypto and I will send it to you. Panthrax doesn't have it, and he didn't read the full version.

    your book is worthless and you know it

    This shitpost is better than the sum total of every word in that book. I thought this thread was a little mean but now I just can't stop laughing because I'm kinda stoned.
  16. #16
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    Lol@ that edit.

    At least he got a free Dr Pepper out of that whole ordeal tho.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  17. #17
    GGG victim of incest [my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
    Originally posted by Sudo your book is worthless and you know it

    This shitpost is better than the sum total of every word in that book. I thought this thread was a little mean but now I just can't stop laughing because I'm kinda stoned.

    Yeah, I know it's worthless. That's why I'm offering it to you for 50 dollars, because it was so shit I took it off the market. It was the first book I ever wrote and it kickstarted my writing career that has recently allowed me to travel abroad. I didn't do any editing or planning whatsoever with that book.
  18. #18
    Ghost Black Hole
    I liked it better when I was triple G. That was a good alt





    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  19. #19
    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    si si senor
  20. #20
    tl,

    dr.
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