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Today i stole a toaster from SuperTarget...

  1. #21
    Siouxsie_Q African Astronaut
    Originally posted by WellHung Wrong. It's still warm enuff in Illinois… let alone Texas. you must be a big wimp.

    You're wrongly informed, matt. By Sept. (even in Texas, yes), it's too cold to swim, it's true.

    matt, i don't know where you're from, but here in tx we also turn toward autumn weather...
  2. #22
    Wat? It’s still in the low 90s/high 80s here.
  3. #23
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by Siouxsie_Q You're wrongly informed, matt. By Sept. (even in Texas, yes), it's too cold to swim, it's true.

    matt, i don't know where you're from, but here in tx we also turn toward autumn weather…

    I couldn't disagree more. I could easily swim in Texas in November. Im.in illinois, that's why I used that state as a comparison to Texas
  4. #24
    POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    I almost went swimmin yesterday but I waited an hr to long and it had already gotten chill in the shade
  5. #25
    stl1 Cum Lickin' Fagit
    Originally posted by mmQ Fun fact: a plugged in toaster won't electrify you to death if you drop it on your bathtub full of water with you in it, let alone an unplugged stolen Walmart toaster in a full sized pool.



    I have a few posters I'd like to test this theory out on.

    I like to go swimmin' with bow-legged women and swim between their legs.
  6. #26
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Already assuming you would get away with the toaster, you should have grabbed a few $100 items as well, because it's the same penalty.
  7. #27
    Siouxsie_Q African Astronaut
    Originally posted by WellHung I couldn't disagree more. I could easily swim in Texas in November. Im.in illinois,

    haha...nope, you could not swim here in Tx, in November iffen u wanna be ill. It's very rare for highs to be in the 70s where i'm at in Dallas area, lol
  8. #28
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by -SpectraL Already assuming you would get away with the toaster, you should have grabbed a few $100 items as well, because it's the same penalty.

    No. You don't understand. I was there picking up a mini fridge that my mother purchased for me... and I used my Link Card to get a bunch of groceries. the toaster was on the bottom rack of the cart... concealed by the fridge. If the cashier would have noticed it... I just would have said. oh I totally forgot about that ...I'm sorry. therefore they would not have charged me with theft. I would never steal anything in any other fashion.. to where it's obvious... because the consequences are simply not worth the risk.
  9. #29
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by WellHung No. You don't understand. I was there picking up a mini fridge that my mother purchased for me… and I used my Link Card to get a bunch of groceries. the toaster was on the bottom rack of the cart… concealed by the fridge. If the cashier would have noticed it… I just would have said. oh I totally forgot about that …I'm sorry. therefore they would not have charged me with theft. I would never steal anything in any other fashion.. to where it's obvious… because the consequences are simply not worth the risk.

    Contrary to popular belief, the old "Oh, my bad" defense doesn't work. You will still be arrested and charged for shoplifting. You might get off in court, but even that is 50/50. Reason being, a ton of shoplifters use this technique to shoplift.
  10. #30
    WellHung Black Hole
    Originally posted by -SpectraL Contrary to popular belief, the old "Oh, my bad" defense doesn't work. You will still be arrested and charged for shoplifting. You might get off in court, but even that is 50/50. Reason being, a ton of shoplifters use this technique to shoplift.

    Not true. it has worked for me multiple times before.
  11. #31
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by WellHung Not true. it has worked for me multiple times before.

    Not with actual LP. LP are trained to arrest you, no matter what your excuse may be.
  12. #32
    Mewsik African Astronaut [diagonally photosensitise my summation]
    This thread is funny
  13. #33
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    I worked loss prevention for a decade. I know alllll the tricks.
  14. #34
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    I use to steal a lot in high school.
  15. #35
    Originally posted by -SpectraL I worked loss prevention for a decade. I know alllll the tricks.


    Yes and we thank you for sharing all your knowledge on a board full of criminals and thieves

  16. #36
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    These days, you can't share too much or you'll get arrested. For example, we had a member by the name of Lucas Henderson who only posted guides and how-tos on coupon counterfeiting. Next thing you know, an investigator from the Coupon Information Center was here asking questions. Not long after, an FBI special agent in the cybercrime division joined us under the moniker, Cicero, and managed to get around Henderson's TOR connection, obtained his real IP and PI from his ISP, subpoenaed all his IP records, and then got an arrest warrant to bring him in. Henderson was convicted simply for what he told people, not for actually doing anything illegal. So, yeah, things have changed since the old Totse BBS days. Now the world is run by a lawless tyranny, not by any actual law keepers.
  17. #37
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    This is Lucas Henderson...

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  18. #38
    Sudo Black Hole [my hereto riemannian peach]
    Originally posted by -SpectraL These days, you can't share too much or you'll get arrested. For example, we had a member by the name of Lucas Henderson who only posted guides and how-tos on coupon counterfeiting. Next thing you know, an investigator from the Coupon Information Center was here asking questions. Not long after, an FBI special agent in the cybercrime division joined us under the moniker, Cicero, and managed to get around Henderson's TOR connection, obtained his real IP and PI from his ISP, subpoenaed all his IP records, and then got an arrest warrant to bring him in. Henderson was convicted simply for what he told people, not for actually doing anything illegal. So, yeah, things have changed since the old Totse BBS days. Now the world is run by a lawless tyranny, not by any actual law keepers.

    This is not even close to the truth. You're fucking making up everything, coupon guy didn't use tor, zok ratted on him and he was caught with coupons.

    You are such a stupid old liar with no actual intelligence. You haven't learned a damn thing in your 60 years on the planet and you can't even drive a car lol
  19. #39
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    Originally posted by Sudo … zok ratted on him…

    Indeed.
  20. #40
    Bologna Nacho African Astronaut
    I am at target now, which model did you steal?
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