User Controls

Hey, it looks like your browser has javascript disabled. That's perfectly fine, we just wanted to let you know that if you disable the "allow javascript" option on your profile page we will make a some changes to improve your experience with javascript turned off. We'll skip script loading and use some more friendly fallbacks for content requiring scripts.

why do i want to fuck things up?

2018-07-30 at 8:48 AM UTC
#1

OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III African Astronaut

I'm not trying to be edgy or anything but I have noticed that the majority of people are generally altruistic and believe that working towards some sort of common goal is a goal worthy of spending time and effort. But I'm the opposite. I generally do not trust people, and do not care about the common good. It makes me happy inside when I see expensive shit getting fucked up. I think people are inherently selfish and the things they do are almost exclusively for personal gain, so I don't feel bad when I see shit getting wrekt.

Whenever I am put in a situation with new rules that I need to follow, for some reason, without even thinking about it, I start to analyze the rules and find loopholes and shit that I can do to disrupt. I know some of you will probably be disgusted and think I am a degenerate and idk. Regardless of the label, what is this? I feel like it's just my personality but maybe the drugs got me deluded.
2018-07-30 at 8:55 AM UTC
#2

Enterita African Astronaut

People will say because you've been hurt in the past, or you're unhappy. I think the former is true, but the latter is not.

I was happy recently. I was having the time of my life. I can prove I was happy because I was no longer having night terrors during this time.

But I still had fantasies about fucking shit up. It's because I was hurt in the past, and that abuse and trauma against me is unfixable now, even when I'm happy.
2018-07-30 at 8:59 AM UTC
#3

OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III African Astronaut

i mean is happy really a thing though? your mood cycles throughout the day. idk you may be right on being hurt in the past but i mean who hasn't? i think it could be something like that, but also it could be that i'm just naturally like this. i mean humanity has to spawn some destructive people as well as constructive, otherwise shit would just get boring i'd think.
2018-07-30 at 9:04 AM UTC
#4

Enterita African Astronaut

Originally posted by OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III i mean is happy really a thing though? your mood cycles throughout the day. idk you may be right on being hurt in the past but i mean who hasn't? i think it could be something like that, but also it could be that i'm just naturally like this. i mean humanity has to spawn some destructive people as well as constructive, otherwise shit would just get boring i'd think.

Well I mean in general. Like, when I was "happy", throughout the day I could be pissed off, sad, etc... but overall I considered myself "happy". Right now I'm depressed as fuck, even though I have moments of happiness throughout the day when I watch funny vids, jerk off, etc. It's hard to explain.

But yeah people are inherently selfish and stuff. Humans are fucking evil, I don't trust a lot of them.
2018-07-30 at 9:09 AM UTC
#5

OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III African Astronaut

Originally posted by Enterita Well I mean in general. Like, when I was "happy", throughout the day I could be pissed off, sad, etc… but overall I considered myself "happy". Right now I'm depressed as fuck, even though I have moments of happiness throughout the day when I watch funny vids, jerk off, etc. It's hard to explain.

But yeah people are inherently selfish and stuff. Humans are fucking evil, I don't trust a lot of them.

yea, i mean mood fluctuates regardless so i guess considering yourself happy or depressed would be more of an identity thing. i used to consider myself happy then depressed but now it's just kinda apathetic/whatever man. i don't really ever try to label shit anymore because in the end the label doesnt matter it just is what it is. so i mean like, whatever, i kinda don't really know if i was trying to make a point because i am pretty fucked up rn tbh
2018-07-30 at 9:10 AM UTC
#6

Enterita African Astronaut

Originally posted by OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III yea, i mean mood fluctuates regardless so i guess considering yourself happy or depressed would be more of an identity thing. i used to consider myself happy then depressed but now it's just kinda apathetic/whatever man. i don't really ever try to label shit anymore because in the end the label doesnt matter it just is what it is. so i mean like, whatever, i kinda don't really know if i was trying to make a point because i am pretty fucked up rn tbh

Yeah I can tell.

But just remember:

Angry. Blue Bird. Of Death. You suck. You're fuckin' gay. That's the end of that chapter.

Btw when I'm fucked up (at least on alcohol), I feel like fuckin' shit up, so maybe your state of mind right now has to do with that.
2018-07-30 at 9:13 AM UTC
#7

OG_GREENPLASTIC_JOHNSON_III African Astronaut

Originally posted by Enterita Yeah I can tell.

But just remember:

Angry. Blue Bird. Of Death. You suck. You're fuckin' gay. That's the end of that chapter.

Btw when I'm fucked up (at least on alcohol), I feel like fuckin' shit up, so maybe your state of mind right now has to do with that.

thats some life advice to live by there right there mmhmm thats some good shit lmao. and yea alcohol and certain drugs can trigger it pretty bad sometimes but i have it sober too.
2018-07-30 at 12:12 PM UTC
#8

kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

I fuck up my relationships with drugs and alcohol and my life, but at the same time its just so much fun to get high and drink, its quite the quandary. But personally I'm going to quit using for awhile because I need to focus on other things and 2 months of being emo and depressed is way too much so I'm going to try and get it together.