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My NIS Dating Profile!

  1. #1
    Hey ladies I'm just a regular down home country boy. I like haystacks, barn doors and fenceposts. I'm roughly 30 years old but look 5 years younger. I never tell the truth about my age when I cannot be immediately called out on it.

    I'm 200lbs and 5 11. I look like I'm in good shape but I actually suffer chronic pain that causes me to think negatively about a lot of things. I'm aesthetically attractive pretty much objectively by North American societal standards.

    I've spent the vast majority of my adult life in and out of the legal system, mostly for drug trafficking related charges. I've been sentenced to over 7 years in prison altogether. Don't you wish we could snuggle in an 8x12 together?

    I am pretty sweet but will lie to you about other girls since I discovered that's the best way to be. I will listen to your bullshit but will be brutally honest when necessary. I am down for doing liek whatever liek all the time I no I'm spool randuuuuuum liek lady sovereign. I can sing along to gay pop songs to endear you to me. I have numerous tattoos and friends who are both good and terrible influences. My life is kinda dictated by the legal system for the next few months but after that I will likely be a media mogul buying up dead websites to integrate them all into one graveplot. I am seeking a woman who is likely a head case with black hair, glasses and a nice bum as that us my type. I've never hit a woman in my life except kinda accidentally once. I like girls who like me so that's your best avenue to take. Ok thanks I'm like so not good at this hahahalolhahahalolhahahlolhahalol
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    joerell African Astronaut [twine our circinate supersymmetry]
    LMAO.
  3. #3
    Kinks Actually pretty straight [bitch the twenty-second stewpan]
    A/S/L ???
  4. #4
    Number13 African Astronaut [dispute my snotty-nosed seagull]
    Hey y'all I'm Rayquandra, I like fried chicken and those small dogs people carry in their purse as lunch.

    I'm 422lbs at 4'2 and I look like a boulder, I'm entirely unattractive except to bears looking to gain fat before hibernation and children wishing to save time building a snowman.

    I've spent the vast majority of my life in and out of the ghetto and KFC, I've produced 5 niglets, 4 of which are in prison, Dosheek a gud boi doe he dindunuffin.

    I am pretty sweet because of my expensive sugar eating habit but will lie to you about how much I have left since I discovered that's the best way to not share. I will listen to liek whatever liek all the time I no I'm spool randuuuuuum liek lady sovereign. I can sing along to gay pop songs to endear you to my numerous tattoos. My life is kinda dictated by the legal system for the next few months but after that I will likely be dead, but can't fit in one graveplot. I am seeking a man who is likely a head case with black hair, beer gut and a nice bmw as that us my type. I've never hit a gym in my life except kinda accidentally once. Ok thanks I'm like so not good at this hahahalolhahahalolhahahlolhahalol
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  5. #5
    Originally posted by Kinks A/S/L ???

    Fourteen female Francisco
  6. #6
    Ghost Black Hole
  7. #7
    you forgot the part where you like hiking and having fun and also you're a foodie
  8. #8
    Siouxsie_Q African Astronaut
    Originally posted by yum I can sing along to gay pop songs

    Now this I'd like to hear!
  9. #9
    Originally posted by Siouxsie_Q Now this I'd like to hear!

    Date me and I will serenade you adele all night long

    I want some takers I'm a catch. Well more like a trap
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