Good morning everyone.
I just woke up.
Had a lot of weird dreams last night.
1 being I was at home with 4 women who were all from another country visiting and were stranded.
I had blue balls and kept trying to ask hem to fix them with sex.
They kept saying no and I kept getting bluer more painful balls.
I eventually had enough and just cornered one of them but then the other 3 got up in my face and was all like "thats not right!"
For whatever reason I chose not to rape them all.
Toward the end of my dream by nuts were the size of yoga balls and I could barely take a step.
Back to reality now.
I just looked up when my court date is and it is tomorrow.
I kind of cut that a little close.
I will have to find a ride there.
The guy who takes me to work had called me just as I was waking up to tell me he COULD take me to work today so I do not have to worry about that.
I have some goals for today off the top of my head.
I just woke up so I haven't given it anymore thought that necessity.
Goal #1: Call the pharmacy and get more drugs.
Goal #2: Do laundry.
Goal #3: Feed my dogs.
Goal #4: Eat breakfast and later lunch.
Goal #5: Fix lunch for work.
Goal #6: Take a shower.
Goal #7: Jam out to music for a couple hours before work. (Hopefully Luigi will join me).
Goal #8: Go to work and have a great day.
I could go on and on but thats all I got right now as my brain is not fully awake yet.
I should probably look over my health insurance paperwork.
My government Medicaid shit runs out at the end of the months so I will wait until it ends and I am left with just my new good insurance to make some doctors appointments, but I still might look up where I can go.
I will update more later.
I love you guys very much.
I am proud of each and every one of you.
Oh and I got the carpet shampooed yesterday so I might start putting my room together too.
For whatever reason back when I was using drugs I felt the need for cinder-blocks and carried a bunch of them down here.
And when I was sweeping yesterday I found a lot of empty gel-caps that had been filled with dope at some point. Several had residue still and I thought about tasting it but NOPE!
I am clean and I do not ever want to go back to that way of life.
I just read this and it hit me kinda soft because I am so buff but it would have hurt probably if it wasn't for the fact I am SO BUFF!\
May 21, 2018
Keep coming back!
Page 147
"Meetings keep us in touch with where we've been, but more importantly with where we could go in our recovery."
Basic Text, p. 56
In many ways, addicts are different. When we came to Narcotics Anonymous we found others like ourselves, people who understood us and whom we could understand. No longer did we feel like aliens, strangers wherever we went. We were at home in NA meetings, among friends.
We don't stop being addicts after we've been clean awhile. We still need to identify with other addicts. We continue coming to NA meetings to keep in touch with who we are, where we've come from, and where we're going. Every meeting reminds us that we can never use drugs successfully. Every meeting reminds us that we'll never be cured, but that by practicing the principles of the program we can recover. And every meeting offers us the experience and example of other addicts in ongoing recovery.
At meetings, we see how different people work their program, and the results are apparent in their lives. If we want the lives we see others living, we can find out what they've done to get where they are. Narcotics Anonymous meetings offer us identification with where we've been and where we can go-identification we can't do without and can't get anywhere else. That keeps us coming back.
Just for Today: I will attend an NA meeting to remind myself of who I am, where I've come from, and where I can go in my recovery.
I really should go to a meeting again soon.
I would today if I had time before work and could get to one.
Just reminds me that I have been meaning to go.
I have all these friends in recovery and I need to go out and help fix the world I live in.
Talk to you all later.
I love you very much.
Don't forget that World Turtle Day is May 23rd!
