About 2-3 times a year since I was 15, I completely lose my marbles for about a week. Earlier this week about monday I think, i got very emo about my cat dying while I was at a taco shop, and just sat there with all this food in front of me and I tried to eat some of it but it just wasn't good. i got up to leave and the girl working there asked me whats wrong, why don't I want to eat it, i told her I left 5 dollars on the table for her.
I ent up going home and drinking some more. I had a text on my phone asking if I was working and I thought it was the girl in the next building wanting me to come over, I called the number and I it was some 19 year old fat fuck that always calls into work and is a lazy piece of shit. I yelled at the dude and ent up texting him calling him a fat faggot. he ent up sending the text to my boss. I spent the next day and a half telling my boss im not going to come in on my day off to talk to him and I even told my parents I wouldnt visit them I just sat in my room trying to detox drinking topochico and listening to ted gunderson interviews. I started having bad anxiety attacks from quitting drinking, after I've been drinking at whiskey at bars and drinking at home for the last 6 months. I ent up having to go to a meeting with my boss's and they both started recording everything that I was saying (my boss can't type on a computer he's a functional retard so he wrote) and they gave me my check and they told me they'd let me know today if I still have a job there. I ent up going to a hotel to go drink some whiskey and ent up leaving my check. (it wasn't that much compared to what I make in tips) but its still annoying. after getting assaulted by a black dude, and I have to go to court in a few days for custody/child support of my kid, it really stressed me out. I thought about killing myself, but I decided It's not a good idea because I still have more life to live, but I need to get myself together a little bit better
my co-worker and I are trying to practice playing guitar with each other and he's on my side but at the same time, its kind of hard to do that when you sleep during the day ( and I do community service at an audio book tape place for the blind) and have to get up just to do the same stupid shit again.
