A Bowel Ordeal

1. 2017-12-01 at 7:08 PM UTC

   #1
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   I was at my aunt and uncle's for Thanksgiving and got rocked with a spell of diarrhea. I believe it had something to do with a Chile Rellano burrito I had ate a day prior. In the middle of the night, I woke up abruptly, realizing that now was the time. I rushed to the bathroom, with my excrement starting to seep out of my anus and staining my underwear.
   
   "Finally!", I had thought. I plopped my rear on the cold toilet seat. It came in one continuous fart that seemed to last 30 seconds. It was painful and relieving. After my stool, I looked all around for toilet paper and I had realized that there was no toilet paper.
   
   I stood up from the toilet seat, thinking I had gone ham. But I soon realized that I was naive to the situation. I couldn't wear my underwear or sweatpants anymore because there was cockadoodie on them. Whilst almost completely naked, with excrement seeping down my leg, I started to calculate my next plan of action. I contemplated rushing down the hallway to grab something to wipe my ass but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
   
   And then my eyes pivoted;
   
   The Decorative Bathroom Towel
   
   I realized that it was my only option. So I grabbed the towel with haste, and started to wipe up the mess.
   
   I think it was possibly spaghetti sauce that was making my excrement look red like blood.
   
   That's not even the worst part. I thought I had known ultimate shame by this point in my life, but I found my next actions to be a complete face palm.
   
   After wiping up the mess, I flossed that white towel ass nigga right between my burgers. It was stained with a red and green streak.
   
   I had to put my sweats back on, in order to reach my suitcase down the hall way. I was a victim of my own digestive system.
   
   The worst part is that I scrunched up the towel and threw it in the laundry room. A seemingly innocent towel, holding the secret of my fecal accident. I was going to put it in the washer but there were already clothes in there.
   
   So I left a wadded up shit towel for my relatives to deal with.
   
   I feel horrible about it but I had no other alternative, past walking around the house, naked and smelling of shit.
   
   I had a scare the next day, when my aunt called my cousin to pick up toilet paper, I thought they had found the towel and I was going to get a talking to.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • RisiR †, 
   • D4NG0, 
   • The Self Taught Man
2. 2017-12-01 at 7:15 PM UTC

   #2
   

   RisiR † 29 Autism
   I predicted a bucket but you actually shat in a towel.
   
   Does your family not have showers?
3. 2017-12-01 at 7:18 PM UTC

   #3
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

   Originally posted by RisiR † I predicted a bucket but you actually shat in a towel.
   
   Does your family not have showers?

   
   I considered taking a shower but that still wouldn't have solved the moment in being that I had no clothes
4. 2017-12-01 at 7:29 PM UTC

   #4
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I've been wrecking my stomach with phenibut lately and anytime I eat anything I have diarrhea shortly after, thankfully I'm barely eating at all since I have no appetite.
5. 2017-12-01 at 7:32 PM UTC

   #5
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   That's no good. Tell me more about Phenibut and the experience that you've had. I went through a small amount of Phenibut while trying to research it's nootropic qualities.
   
   But I never got into it like some people here.
6. 2017-12-01 at 7:34 PM UTC

   #6
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   How much phenibut are you taking? It seems to give many people hellish withdrawals,the worst they've ever had, if taken in excessive doses.
7. 2017-12-01 at 7:36 PM UTC

   #7
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   If Lanny was so INCLINED, he might take some of these posts and make a Phenibut Thread.
   
   I watched Hydro take a gigantic amount on skype, and she later seizured that night.
   
   Also good to have you back, you god damn cat boinker
8. 2017-12-02 at 8:45 AM UTC

   #8
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   Bump
9. 2017-12-10 at 9:16 PM UTC

   #9
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   Bump, I want to know about the phenibut. Diarrhea?
10. 2017-12-14 at 7:15 PM UTC

    #10
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Haven't ate for days due to nausea and feel like I'm dying.
11. 2017-12-14 at 7:26 PM UTC

    #11
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Bowel down when you come to my town
    Bowel down when we west-ward bound
    'Cause we ain't no haters like you
    Bowel down to some niggas that's greater than you
    
    
    Thanks
12. 2017-12-14 at 7:28 PM UTC

    #12
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by WhiskeyPhoenix Haven't ate for days due to nausea and feel like I'm dying.

    
    Have you considered...fuck what's the word again...I know it starts with an e... eeling..no.. eaching...no, fuck what is i-, oh right EATING. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED EATING?
13. 2017-12-17 at 3:32 PM UTC

    #13
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Errbody told you not to mess with that Phenibut.
    
    

    Originally posted by mashlehash I was at my aunt and uncle's for Thanksgiving and got rocked with a spell of diarrhea. I believe it had something to do with a Chile Rellano burrito I had ate a day prior. In the middle of the night, I woke up abruptly, realizing that now was the time. I rushed to the bathroom, with my excrement starting to seep out of my anus and staining my underwear.
    
    "Finally!", I had thought. I plopped my rear on the cold toilet seat. It came in one continuous fart that seemed to last 30 seconds. It was painful and relieving. After my stool, I looked all around for toilet paper and I had realized that there was no toilet paper.
    
    I stood up from the toilet seat, thinking I had gone ham. But I soon realized that I was naive to the situation. I couldn't wear my underwear or sweatpants anymore because there was cockadoodie on them. Whilst almost completely naked, with excrement seeping down my leg, I started to calculate my next plan of action. I contemplated rushing down the hallway to grab something to wipe my ass but I couldn't bring myself to do it.
    
    And then my eyes pivoted;
    
    The Decorative Bathroom Towel
    
    I realized that it was my only option. So I grabbed the towel with haste, and started to wipe up the mess.
    
    I think it was possibly spaghetti sauce that was making my excrement look red like blood.
    
    That's not even the worst part. I thought I had known ultimate shame by this point in my life, but I found my next actions to be a complete face palm.
    
    After wiping up the mess, I flossed that white towel ass nigga right between my burgers. It was stained with a red and green streak.
    
    I had to put my sweats back on, in order to reach my suitcase down the hall way. I was a victim of my own digestive system.
    
    The worst part is that I scrunched up the towel and threw it in the laundry room. A seemingly innocent towel, holding the secret of my fecal accident. I was going to put it in the washer but there were already clothes in there.
    
    So I left a wadded up shit towel for my relatives to deal with.
    
    I feel horrible about it but I had no other alternative, past walking around the house, naked and smelling of shit.
    
    I had a scare the next day, when my aunt called my cousin to pick up toilet paper, I thought they had found the towel and I was going to get a talking to.

    
    God this post really sucks. Whether its made up or not, it blows. If it's made up, it sucks cause its not funny. If it's true, it sucks because you didn't get away with anything, that is to say, your auntie found the shit covered towel and immediately knew it was you cause nobody else at the gathering had been to the mental hospital 4 times this year. I keep revisiting this post as it is one of the more current "long" posts and is still being discussed, but my god, it is terrible every time.
14. 2017-12-17 at 3:34 PM UTC

    #14
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Why the fuck didn't you just hop in the shower, n00b??
15. 2017-12-17 at 5:15 PM UTC

    #15
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    You're a fucking faggot.
16. 2017-12-18 at 4:04 AM UTC

    #16
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

    Originally posted by Something Squirrel You're a fucking faggot.

    
    Let me Shit in your mouth
17. 2017-12-18 at 4:18 AM UTC

    #17
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by mmQ Why the fuck didn't you just hop in the shower, n00b??

    
    Mash. Why though?
18. 2017-12-18 at 4:47 AM UTC

    #18
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

    Originally posted by mmQ Mash. Why though?

    
    It's only an ornamental towel
19. 2018-01-23 at 1:20 AM UTC

    #19
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    I have to bump this.
    
    LOL
20. 2018-01-23 at 5:31 PM UTC

    #20
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Says a lot about people who buy toilet paper after they've run out of it.