2015-11-19 at 11:20 PM UTC
Will I be happy one day, as a functional member of society? Will I move on and find love? Am I a doomed person, from all of my past decisions? I just want to be happy.
2015-11-19 at 11:29 PM UTC
The biggest lie people tell you is it gets better.
But the second biggest lie is people dont change.
You, and only you, are in charge of your life. If you want things to get better its up to you to make them better.
2015-11-19 at 11:31 PM UTC
Things will get better, if you make it so yourself.
2015-11-20 at 12:09 AM UTC
I don't know what to do to make things better
2015-11-20 at 12:50 AM UTC
I've been depressed/anxious to some degree for the last maybe 6 years, which is why I started taking drugs, but when I went to Turkey, I was off drugs for most of the two months there and I felt like I just got worse. Maybe I fucked my brain up, or maybe I'm just always going to feel like shit, forever. I have NO IDEA what to do to make my life better.
2015-11-20 at 1:03 AM UTC
>18
>PDD-NOS, antisocial personality disorder
>financially dependent on parents
>not allowed to have more than 2$ at a time in case I buy cough syrup
>On depakote, remeron, and atarax, with zoloft being added
>feel like shit all day, every day
>severely heartbroken by an evil 14 year old
>her family might kill me
>no friends
>stay on computer constantly, doing nothing
>wish I was dead
>never leave the house
>don't shower, brush my teeth, or change my clothes
>thoughts of homicide and suicide that I won't act on
>the future is hopeless for me
>highschool dropout, may...eventually...go to college
>probable brain damage from spice, inhalant, and bundy abuse
>psychologically dependent on dissociatives
>been through spice, amphetamine, and benzo withdrawal
>everyone hates my guts
>treat my parents like shit
>why am I alive?
2015-11-20 at 1:05 AM UTC
>I'm homeless dosing DPH and zolpidem at transgender shelter
2015-11-20 at 1:42 AM UTC
Thx brej, but I need IRL people to want to talk to me
2015-11-20 at 1:54 AM UTC
Then I don't have anything to talk about :(
2015-11-20 at 5:33 AM UTC
Sploo, if I could communicate through time I would tell 18 year old me to just work up the courage and commit suicide now, because a slow death had already been occurring for years at that point and he would only be needlessly dragging on the inevitable and suffering in vain.
Just something to think about.
2015-11-20 at 6:51 AM UTC
There's probably a program for folks like you sploo, like rehab but for mental problems as well. Maybe that's just regular rehab though. I think Japan has started government sponsored hiki rehabilitation programs, gotta be something like that here.
2015-11-21 at 1:33 PM UTC
kroz
weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
It seems like sploos problem is his parents never pushed him to doing anything. I hate to say it but some people are born with little motivation and it takes a well rounded parent to be able to teach that. Growing up I always wanted my mom and dad to get a divorce so I could do whatever I wanted. But at 28 I'm glad that never happened. My advice to you sploo, is, if you're going to be a junky at least be good at it.. You know there's plenty of people in this world that will give you more than two bux at a time... I've pretty much had my own place , my own car since, pussy to fuck and it all has to do with my parents pushing me to do something. Six months ago I asked my dad for money for the first time in ten years and he basically told me to go fuck myself. And In hindsight I'm kinda glad he did. This prolly one of those things that is in one ear and out the other.. But its true
