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I'm actually under government surveillance.
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2017-02-07 at 3:25 PM UTC
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2017-02-07 at 3:52 PM UTC
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2017-02-07 at 3:54 PM UTClol how? It's no secret CF has been coming around for years making threads about bullshit precisely like this one. It clearly isn't trolling, as there's no reason anyone would get upset if he was actually under some sort of investigation. So tell me, if trolling isn't the motive, what is your motive?
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2017-02-07 at 4:24 PM UTC
Originally posted by greenplastic lol how? It's no secret CF has been coming around for years making threads about bullshit precisely like this one. It clearly isn't trolling, as there's no reason anyone would get upset if he was actually under some sort of investigation. So tell me, if trolling isn't the motive, what is your motive?
It's not a matter of directly getting anyone upset. The point isn't "wow, Captain Falcon is being gang stalked. I love Captain Falcon and this makes me upset because he doesn't deserve it". The objective is generally one of two things:
1. There are a lot of people who think they are above being fooled and take this (and themselves) too seriously. Taking these people for a ride and then dropping the truth on them generally generates initial butthurt, then immense luls, then in the long run either permanently un-jams their head from their ass (I.e. they stop being super cereal about themselves), because of the fact of having been japed on.
2. There are people who are more willing to believe and don't take everything so seriously and cynically, and they get a cool bit of writing and a laugh out of it at the end of the day, no harm, no foul. The pleasure is derived from taking then for a ride, then having a laugh at the end.
So don't take this shit too seriously.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2017-02-07 at 5:11 PM UTCDo meth they will get bored of watching you.
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2017-02-07 at 6:22 PM UTC
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2017-02-07 at 6:25 PM UTCindstall perblock
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2017-02-07 at 6:30 PM UTCanything chambered in .45 will solve this problem nicely
if you suspect you're going be burglarized, use something 12 guage, 00 or 000 buck will work fine -
2017-02-07 at 7:43 PM UTC
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2017-02-07 at 8:11 PM UTCStrap three bulky packpacks to the front and back of your body and run full speed at the van screaming Allu Akbar. See if they race off.
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2017-02-07 at 9:01 PM UTCHamp next time just shut the fuck up pls I wanted to stay on Mr. Falcon's wild ride.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2017-02-07 at 9:02 PM UTC
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2017-02-07 at 11:02 PM UTC
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2017-02-07 at 11:04 PM UTCThis ride makes me want to spray vomitus.
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2017-02-08 at 2:05 AM UTC
Originally posted by Captain Falcon It's not a matter of directly getting anyone upset. The point isn't "wow, Captain Falcon is being gang stalked. I love Captain Falcon and this makes me upset because he doesn't deserve it". The objective is generally one of two things:
1. There are a lot of people who think they are above being fooled and take this (and themselves) too seriously. Taking these people for a ride and then dropping the truth on them generally generates initial butthurt, then immense luls, then in the long run either permanently un-jams their head from their ass (I.e. they stop being super cereal about themselves), because of the fact of having been japed on.
2. There are people who are more willing to believe and don't take everything so seriously and cynically, and they get a cool bit of writing and a laugh out of it at the end of the day, no harm, no foul. The pleasure is derived from taking then for a ride, then having a laugh at the end.
So don't take this shit too seriously.
Oh, I didn't know you were such a philanthropist. Thank god we have people like you here to help us along with our lives by posting fake stories about yourself for us to become better people by reading. -
2017-02-08 at 2:09 AM UTCIt sounds all scientific and latin when you put an "us" on the end
"bitch, sucketh my dickus" -
2017-02-08 at 3:40 AM UTC
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2017-02-08 at 4:09 AM UTC
Originally posted by SCronaldo_J_Trump Watching a dude not sleep for a week sounds pointless to me
That's because you're doing it wrong
If you have a hardcore tweaker in the house, just play gta 5 in another room and get in a police chase and then turn the volume up really loud and if he comes in turn off the tv -
2017-02-08 at 6:43 AM UTC
Originally posted by Hash Slinging Slasher That's because you're doing it wrong
If you have a hardcore tweaker in the house, just play gta 5 in another room and get in a police chase and then turn the volume up really loud and if he comes in turn off the tv
Nah man. Play GTA but use headphones, and put one of these in the wall first. Hook it up to an old phone or cheap mp3 player.
https://www.amazon.com/X-Mini-XAM4-B-Portable-Capsule-Speaker/dp/B001UEBN42?th=1
Tapping noises every 1:47 seconds. The staggering is so that he can't count it to exactly two minutes. If you're feeling adventurous, edit it so that it slowly goes up to intervals of two minutes, and then back down to 1:30 or something. His sense of time will feel so fucked.
Now when he digs apart the wall, and he will, you need to act very surprised. Play into his conspiracy theories that his ex-girlfriend planted it there to fuck with him. I mean she did come over a few weekends ago.
When things settle down, go to the fridge and fill a glass with ice and just shake it non-stop. Have a regular glass of ice and water nearby, half finished. When he comes to check it out you just hide the ice cup and start sipping on your water.
At this point he'll start to believe you're in on it. So you need to gain his trust. Invite him to play videogames or something. Stop the shenanigans this go-around and start plotting for next time as you let him win in Smash Bros. -
2017-02-08 at 5:20 PM UTCYou people are fucked. If it was me I'd smash the glass dick , slice your throat open with the sharp end and sell all the electronics for more meff
