2020-02-09 at 12:46 AM UTC
I love being sober cause it gives me time to reflect and really accept that I'm an arse hole at the best of times when drunk. I think there's been various triggers over time that each have their own correlating problems. For example I could:
Want a drink that in turn leads me to go on a binge and thus snort coke.
I could snort some coke offered to me, leading to drink if not getting more coke, (most likely).
Maybe just being in a room with users. (Just don't be around them, yes, I know)
Getting drunk leading to black out events, getting into trouble. E.g. losing your fucking job.
Personally I think never accepting the tough fact I have shit will power has been a bigger trigger. I must be in denial and can't accept it.
"Pfft it's been a while now without a drop, you must have built up some will power surely?" I would ask myself. There's so much I've lost in the past due to over indulgence but it never registers at the point of relapse. All those celebrities that have gone teetotal as a result of their excessiveness, I would look at and think, "imagine doing something so much, you can never enjoy it again?"
"Fuck-that. No, that will never be me." But in fact it is. I've tried thinking of ways around it, being somewhere or with someone when I drink to keep an eye out. Casper said this is called "bargaining"; which only confirms being indenial more. Being sober has it's pros though, I just miss the social aspect. I do fear perceptions of being seen as a bore or w.e. I am more relaxed/ talkative after one or two, I just don't believe one is restricted to not being as cheery sober as they are drunk.
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2020-02-09 at 12:50 AM UTC
What is this? A.A.in space?
2020-02-09 at 12:53 AM UTC
I DRANK A BEER AND NOW IM ONTO THE VODKA AYO SMOKED ALL THE WEED SAT NIGHT LETS GO
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2020-02-09 at 12:54 AM UTC
It’s a vicious circle Oct.
Sounds like you’re ready to get off!
2020-02-09 at 1:22 AM UTC
I am drinking a nice cold wheat beer at a pizza resturant righ now. I actually have a few gift cards for California Pizza Kitchen.
I will likely go to a strip club tonight.
Tomorrow I will likely use my trainer I got for my mountain bike and burn it off.
#GiftCardLyfe
2020-02-09 at 1:57 AM UTC
tbh, from what little I know your entire life screams lack of impulse control. Do you have any decent friends and family members who can help keep you accountable? Or, I guess also, have you decided if you have something worth being sober for?
2020-02-10 at 4:53 AM UTC
aldra
JIDF Controlled Opposition
I don't like my thoughts being that loud
2020-02-10 at 5:22 AM UTC
Im not certain why anyone of you liberal cocksukers would/are wanting to be sober what is the point why not feel good all the time on this life on earth we have
2020-02-10 at 5:25 AM UTC
Originally posted by aldra
I don't like my thoughts being that loud
That's why I drink. It's a "shut up brain" button.
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