2017-11-19 at 9:31 AM UTC
Once in county jail I gather someone was too bashful to defecate in the cell with their mates, so they conveniently left a huge coil in the day room showers. You've never seen a chiseled from stone, fearless convict cower away in utter fear as fast as when he faced an unexpected visit from the fecal fairy.
It was funny as hell seeing 2 older ebony gents go into rants about "fucking weirdos shitting in the shower" & that this was "cruel & unusual punishment" as they donned make-shift Hazmat suits w/checker board chest shields (held around the neck with toilet paper rope) & surgical masks of old commissary bags. The gloves were fashioned out of zip lock bags that the initial hygiene pack was handed out in & made the tossing of cleaning chemicals from feet away an ardous task. It took 2 wily vets over an hour to do so, as the bewildered C.O. just stood there scratching his head. I remember one of the clean up guys Mr. Willie wandered around for days stroking his chin mumbling aloud "who tha fuck shits in a shower ?!". Mind you there was only 2 stalls for roughly 50 heads & that one was avoided like the plague for mo.'s by the heads in the "know".
Weeks later it was determined that a guy in D-17 was the culprit who was referred from then on as "Filthy Mac Nasty" & "Shitfrey Dahmer". He was ostracised from the group,left out of the spade tournaments & the related comradery(discussing the buttocks of the musical artists on BET,whose the best rapper debates, etc.),,,ah the memories
I defecate in a manner I termed "drago technique" it is the norm for many original people. I used to call it the "gargoyle" but I have elevated the game to have perfect weight distribution as to not break any more toilet seats. My non-perfected technique has been responsible for many a broken toilet seat that has cost me 2 concubines & a 425$ damage charge from a Marriot. It promotes better bowel evacuation & keeps the knees limber.
As a child my family travelled the globe, I remember fondly while in India during the 70's, another child stumbled upon me in "drago" formation, well back then it was "gargoyle"(coined due to the familiarity of looking as if perched on a roof top like the afore named statues). He was perplexed,ran & told his father who was some kind of village holy man, who then assured me & his seed that it was completely normal, which I already knew lol. To this day I ponder if Sanu picked up the drago technique,,,
I expect many people are grumpy & @ risk of colon rot/cancer just by simply not shitting properly.
Post last edited by G at 2017-11-19T09:33:45.331824+00:00
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2017-11-19 at 12:19 PM UTC
kroz
weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
Oh g you are the living end. This is a classic g story. I love it.
2017-11-19 at 6:24 PM UTC
I once even went the lengths of having a custom hardwood toilet seat made, it had feet grooves carved into it for optimum traction. I commissioned a out of work carpenter from Craig's List. I remember him having a look of bewilderment when I explained my job to him lol. Was a bit awkward having to squat on the template for him to draw a pattern around my feet.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2019-03-22 at 1:17 AM UTC
Originally posted by G
I once even went the lengths of having a custom hardwood toilet seat made, it had feet grooves carved into it for optimum traction. I commissioned a out of work carpenter from Craig's List. I remember him having a look of bewilderment when I explained my job to him lol. Was a bit awkward having to squat on the template for him to draw a pattern around my feet.
Well that custom seat met it's demise today, it did last me 6+ years. I think I'll commission another wooden seat project but go w/ solid oak this time.
Of humorous note when it gave way it rendered a huge crack/boom & I had to swiftly maneuver to avoid falling over & smashing my dome on the sink fixture. The whole ordeal was rather loud & as I came out of the bathroom I was greeted by a group of my son's friends' @ the kitchen table looking in awe lol.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2019-03-22 at 1:22 AM UTC
GGG
victim of incest
[my veinlike two-fold aepyornidae]
This is a high quality thread.
RIP to the toilet seat.
I hooe you find your indestructible holy grail.
Or a squat pot.
Good luck G.
2019-08-10 at 12:33 PM UTC
Returning from a Myrtle Beach vacation w/ my left leg in an immobilizer. All due to another frail toilet seat, this time @ a 4 star resort, go figure. I was perched in perfect drago posture & without the first hint of noise/sound the seat just split on one side causing my left leg to kick/slide off onto the floor haphazardly only to catch the full force of my body weight w/ a foot planted on it's side.
I'm glad this happened pre-shit release, as I ended up on the floor in not unlike fetal position cursing in pain, that would've been eons messier w/ a coil of feces hanging from my rear lol. Insult to injury they charged me $396.74 in damages. Not looking forward to seeing my Dr. & explaining how I tore my meniscus taking a shit.
Alas is life.
2019-08-10 at 12:35 PM UTC
The power of doody turns the hardest men turn to glass
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2019-08-10 at 4:11 PM UTC
Originally posted by G
Returning from a Myrtle Beach vacation w/ my left leg in an immobilizer. All due to another frail toilet seat, this time @ a 4 star resort, go figure. I was perched in perfect drago posture & without the first hint of noise/sound the seat just split on one side causing my left leg to kick/slide off onto the floor haphazardly only to catch the full force of my body weight w/ a foot planted on it's side.
I'm glad this happened pre-shit release, as I ended up on the floor in not unlike fetal position cursing in pain, that would've been eons messier w/ a coil of feces hanging from my rear lol. Insult to injury they charged me $396.74 in damages. Not looking forward to seeing my Dr. & explaining how I tore my meniscus taking a shit.
Alas is life.
cant you just squat on the bowl without the toilet seat ?
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2019-12-31 at 1:43 AM UTC
Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
something similar happened on a range I was on where shit would bubble up from the drains near the showers periodically and everyone would put t shirts over their face. The guards did nothing about it but we refused to lock up until they brought in cleaning supplies then this hitman who looks like a taller Bill Gates cleaned it all up. It was really disgusting, it was shitwater and it flowed all over the bottom tier. The guards lied and said all the ranges on our side of the jail were experiencing the same thing only to find out that was clearly a lie. It happened several times with various degrees of shittyness until I was transferred to another jail. Probably could have sued about it if we had rights lol
2019-12-31 at 2:22 AM UTC
well, are you gunna share your technique? MS paint will do
2019-12-31 at 2:45 AM UTC
Sudo
Black Hole
[my hereto riemannian peach]
Originally posted by G
Yes shit & jail go hand & hand, funny how that works lol.
At least locally, there was a good 15 years or so of "shit bombing" inmates and guards which was a process of shitting in shampoo bottles and stamping on them so it would spray all over your target. Just generally fecal boming people/guards to the point where guards had a radius and they wouldn't walk directly up to cells on lockdown ranges checking for signs of life which is actually a huge violation. Guards and inmates would get MRA and have PTSD and other acronyms once they left. People would get out of jail and talk about shitbombing with people who didn't know about it and they would be dumbfounded. I once watched a guy on a lockdown range (1 man rotation, all other cells locked up) shitbomb two guards then take shitbomb stashes hidden in garbage cans (after throwing the cans at the bubble) and shitbombing the bubble and these big sound barrier things to reduce echo. Just shitbombing and smashing inanimmate objects being one man and there being (I assume although I couldn't see from my vantage point) at least a dozen guards outside the door trying to muster up the confidence to go into the day room to get the one skinny, young, white man like "ok boys we have to do this, it's mighty shitty and some of you might not make it out unstinky but we've been tasked with a dirty mission we were made for."
I myself have never partaken although I've told others I was willing to do such dirty work when I would actually do anything I could to get out of the situation, as prison will put you in many situations. Looking back it's kind of crazy but it was a huge part of the county jail culture for over a decade when I first started going to jail. People from away would be shocked and horrified when they'd be brought to the range and looking back in retrospect it was very gross and barbaric.
Sorry for Wariating
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2019-12-31 at 2:53 AM UTC
aldra
JIDF Controlled Opposition
lol
wut
I've heard of that before but assumed it was rare
