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HTS raped on latest SVU
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2019-11-05 at 5:06 AM UTCLucy? Any thots?
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2019-11-05 at 5:10 AM UTC
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2019-11-05 at 5:17 AM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-11-05 at 5:18 AM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2019-11-05 at 6:09 AM UTC
Originally posted by HTS She looks pretty similar to me I guess. Like a better version of me in every regard. Ha.
Also: do I get a say in any of this scientific study stuff?
Depends on whether you held onto your male privilege card. Otherwise stfu.
What- getting fucked by a bunch of sweaty anonymous internet peen doesn't do it for you?
Reminds me of bradleybee. Lol. -
2019-11-06 at 2:58 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER Depends on whether you held onto your male privilege card. Otherwise stfu.
What- getting fucked by a bunch of sweaty anonymous internet peen doesn't do it for you?
Reminds me of bradleybee. Lol.
I never thought bradleyb was gay but then I heard his voice in tinychat and knew something was amiss.
Also when I was sucking his cock he wanted me to finger his ass too and that's a slippery slope -
2019-11-06 at 3:31 AM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo I never thought bradleyb was gay but then I heard his voice in tinychat and knew something was amiss.
Also when I was sucking his cock he wanted me to finger his ass too and that's a slippery slope
I thought the joke i wrote about him for my nonexistent stand-up routine was pretty fucking hilarious. -
2019-11-06 at 3:34 AM UTC
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2019-11-06 at 3:49 AM UTCLol, they don't give out methadone in prison silly
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2019-11-06 at 4:06 PM UTC
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2019-11-06 at 4:41 PM UTC
Originally posted by Sudo I would like to hear it
I've written a lot of jokes for my nonexistent stand-up routine and I've got probably 8 minutes on puking up methadone in prison
I dont know where exactly its written, but it went something like this:
*****So i was talking to a gay friend online a few months ago and he was like "man im in such a rut. I need to get fucking laid." And i said "Whats stopping you?". And living out in the midwest, apparently the "scene" is not quite as "happening". He says "all the guys out here are little feminine twink faggots". He wants his dick sucked by a REAL man. I had no idea there were such complicated gay politics. So I say, "Why not just go to a bath house?" and he says "Um.....what?"
And its at this point that I realize...my gay friend has never been to a gay bathhouse.
I think Ive always been a bit jealous. Being a gay man just sounds like the greatest party ive never been invited to. Being able to fuck pretty much whenever you want? As a man, generally youve got to play it cool. Youve got to put a leash on that animal. If we articulated all the disgusting, perverse, borderline psychotic fantasies we have to most women, they would start armed gangs in the community. The Pink Panthers. We only get as gross and awful as we think you'll let us be. If youre gay though- there's no such hindrance. Want someone to waterboard you with piss while shoving 2 whole bags on jumbo marshmallows into your gaped asshole? Oh...THATS ON THE MENU, BOI. Someone will oblige you.
So he has never even HEARD of a bath house. I tell him...its just this establishment where gay men come, and its like a spa...except there are very different massages and facials going on. "Its basically gay disneyland" I say. (I mightve been overselling it). I tell him theres just rooms, and men lay in there jerking off with the door open, and then if you like what you see, you just walk in and dock dicks or whatever. He is CONVINCED i am playing a mean homophobic prank on him- baiting him with visions of lithe, rock hard, naked men walking through clouds of hot steamy steam. So for the record- apparently just by living on the West Coast, im actually more gay by osmosis- than a man who actually has sex with other men.
Gets me thinking. If one- A VERY VERY STRAIGHT MAN- were to walk into one such establishment for a one time only beej...would that make them a gay? Would I...he...even make it in the door? Is there a secret handshake? Specially trained dogs to sniff your asshole as you enter, to check for semen? These are questions worth asking.
So I go online and google search "gay bath house, Milwaukee" (for the first time. I swear). And lo and behold....there is such an establishment almost WALKING distance from him. (With a 4 star Yelp review I might add). I call the place and ask their hours and membership costs, and tell him where it is. He says hes going to head there in a few minutes, and thanks me. I go on with my day, proud of the kind of gay ally ive grown to be.
Eventually a few days passed and I saw him online again. I ask how everything went. He tells me he walked in to the place, but didnt go through with it. "Nerves?" I ask. "Cold feet?". "No" he says. "The place was just kind of grungy looking and sketchy. The lobby had these big old dusty green curtains from the 1970s..."
So BASICALLY.....he went to a place that he knew smelled like windex and cum, expecting to get stuffed full of anonymous cock, and passed up on an orgy because the decor wasn't on point.
And that, my friends........................is the GAYEST possible ending to this story.****
I was pretty proud of this one. I think its actually ready for performing. Its had a few iterations. -
2019-11-06 at 4:46 PM UTCThat was pretty good except it would be better if you gave him a bro job at the end
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2019-11-06 at 4:50 PM UTC
Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood That was pretty good except it would be better if you gave him a bro job at the end
I was thinking the other day...what if there was some kind of VR device you could put you dick into, and then someone could remotely jerk you off. Would you jerk off a homie, while looking into his eyes on cam? Would it be GAY? Would you get MARRIED? Would they be with you on your DEATH BED?
These too, are important questions to pose ourselves. -
2019-11-06 at 4:57 PM UTC
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2019-11-07 at 3:23 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER I dont know where exactly its written, but it went something like this:
*****So i was talking to a gay friend online a few months ago and he was like "man im in such a rut. I need to get fucking laid." And i said "Whats stopping you?". And living out in the midwest, apparently the "scene" is not quite as "happening". He says "all the guys out here are little feminine twink faggots". He wants his dick sucked by a REAL man. I had no idea there were such complicated gay politics. So I say, "Why not just go to a bath house?" and he says "Um…..what?"
And its at this point that I realize…my gay friend has never been to a gay bathhouse.
I think Ive always been a bit jealous. Being a gay man just sounds like the greatest party ive never been invited to. Being able to fuck pretty much whenever you want? As a man, generally youve got to play it cool. Youve got to put a leash on that animal. If we articulated all the disgusting, perverse, borderline psychotic fantasies we have to most women, they would start armed gangs in the community. The Pink Panthers. We only get as gross and awful as we think you'll let us be. If youre gay though- there's no such hindrance. Want someone to waterboard you with piss while shoving 2 whole bags on jumbo marshmallows into your gaped asshole? Oh…THATS ON THE MENU, BOI. Someone will oblige you.
So he has never even HEARD of a bath house. I tell him…its just this establishment where gay men come, and its like a spa…except there are very different massages and facials going on. "Its basically gay disneyland" I say. (I mightve been overselling it). I tell him theres just rooms, and men lay in there jerking off with the door open, and then if you like what you see, you just walk in and dock dicks or whatever. He is CONVINCED i am playing a mean homophobic prank on him- baiting him with visions of lithe, rock hard, naked men walking through clouds of hot steamy steam. So for the record- apparently just by living on the West Coast, im actually more gay by osmosis- than a man who actually has sex with other men.
Gets me thinking. If one- A VERY VERY STRAIGHT MAN- were to walk into one such establishment for a one time only beej…would that make them a gay? Would I…he…even make it in the door? Is there a secret handshake? Specially trained dogs to sniff your asshole as you enter, to check for semen? These are questions worth asking.
So I go online and google search "gay bath house, Milwaukee" (for the first time. I swear). And lo and behold….there is such an establishment almost WALKING distance from him. (With a 4 star Yelp review I might add). I call the place and ask their hours and membership costs, and tell him where it is. He says hes going to head there in a few minutes, and thanks me. I go on with my day, proud of the kind of gay ally ive grown to be.
Eventually a few days passed and I saw him online again. I ask how everything went. He tells me he walked in to the place, but didnt go through with it. "Nerves?" I ask. "Cold feet?". "No" he says. "The place was just kind of grungy looking and sketchy. The lobby had these big old dusty green curtains from the 1970s…"
So BASICALLY…..he went to a place that he knew smelled like windex and cum, expecting to get stuffed full of anonymous cock, and passed up on an orgy because the decor wasn't on point.
And that, my friends……………………is the GAYEST possible ending to this story.****
I was pretty proud of this one. I think its actually ready for performing. Its had a few iterations.
That's a good bit that's probably engaging to the audience and relateable/believable. Might mencia it. -
2019-11-07 at 3:23 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER I dont know where exactly its written, but it went something like this:
*****So i was talking to a gay friend online a few months ago and he was like "man im in such a rut. I need to get fucking laid." And i said "Whats stopping you?". And living out in the midwest, apparently the "scene" is not quite as "happening". He says "all the guys out here are little feminine twink faggots". He wants his dick sucked by a REAL man. I had no idea there were such complicated gay politics. So I say, "Why not just go to a bath house?" and he says "Um…..what?"
And its at this point that I realize…my gay friend has never been to a gay bathhouse.
I think Ive always been a bit jealous. Being a gay man just sounds like the greatest party ive never been invited to. Being able to fuck pretty much whenever you want? As a man, generally youve got to play it cool. Youve got to put a leash on that animal. If we articulated all the disgusting, perverse, borderline psychotic fantasies we have to most women, they would start armed gangs in the community. The Pink Panthers. We only get as gross and awful as we think you'll let us be. If youre gay though- there's no such hindrance. Want someone to waterboard you with piss while shoving 2 whole bags on jumbo marshmallows into your gaped asshole? Oh…THATS ON THE MENU, BOI. Someone will oblige you.
So he has never even HEARD of a bath house. I tell him…its just this establishment where gay men come, and its like a spa…except there are very different massages and facials going on. "Its basically gay disneyland" I say. (I mightve been overselling it). I tell him theres just rooms, and men lay in there jerking off with the door open, and then if you like what you see, you just walk in and dock dicks or whatever. He is CONVINCED i am playing a mean homophobic prank on him- baiting him with visions of lithe, rock hard, naked men walking through clouds of hot steamy steam. So for the record- apparently just by living on the West Coast, im actually more gay by osmosis- than a man who actually has sex with other men.
Gets me thinking. If one- A VERY VERY STRAIGHT MAN- were to walk into one such establishment for a one time only beej…would that make them a gay? Would I…he…even make it in the door? Is there a secret handshake? Specially trained dogs to sniff your asshole as you enter, to check for semen? These are questions worth asking.
So I go online and google search "gay bath house, Milwaukee" (for the first time. I swear). And lo and behold….there is such an establishment almost WALKING distance from him. (With a 4 star Yelp review I might add). I call the place and ask their hours and membership costs, and tell him where it is. He says hes going to head there in a few minutes, and thanks me. I go on with my day, proud of the kind of gay ally ive grown to be.
Eventually a few days passed and I saw him online again. I ask how everything went. He tells me he walked in to the place, but didnt go through with it. "Nerves?" I ask. "Cold feet?". "No" he says. "The place was just kind of grungy looking and sketchy. The lobby had these big old dusty green curtains from the 1970s…"
So BASICALLY…..he went to a place that he knew smelled like windex and cum, expecting to get stuffed full of anonymous cock, and passed up on an orgy because the decor wasn't on point.
And that, my friends……………………is the GAYEST possible ending to this story.****
I was pretty proud of this one. I think its actually ready for performing. Its had a few iterations.
That's a good bit that's probably engaging to the audience and relateable/believable. Might mencia it.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-11-07 at 3:28 AM UTC
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2019-11-07 at 6:08 AM UTCsut up ugly faggot
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2019-11-07 at 10:43 AM UTC
Originally posted by CASPER I dont know where exactly its written, but it went something like this:
*****So i was talking to a gay friend online a few months ago and he was like "man im in such a rut. I need to get fucking laid." And i said "Whats stopping you?". And living out in the midwest, apparently the "scene" is not quite as "happening". He says "all the guys out here are little feminine twink faggots". He wants his dick sucked by a REAL man. I had no idea there were such complicated gay politics. So I say, "Why not just go to a bath house?" and he says "Um…..what?"
And its at this point that I realize…my gay friend has never been to a gay bathhouse.
I think Ive always been a bit jealous. Being a gay man just sounds like the greatest party ive never been invited to. Being able to fuck pretty much whenever you want? As a man, generally youve got to play it cool. Youve got to put a leash on that animal. If we articulated all the disgusting, perverse, borderline psychotic fantasies we have to most women, they would start armed gangs in the community. The Pink Panthers. We only get as gross and awful as we think you'll let us be. If youre gay though- there's no such hindrance. Want someone to waterboard you with piss while shoving 2 whole bags on jumbo marshmallows into your gaped asshole? Oh…THATS ON THE MENU, BOI. Someone will oblige you.
So he has never even HEARD of a bath house. I tell him…its just this establishment where gay men come, and its like a spa…except there are very different massages and facials going on. "Its basically gay disneyland" I say. (I mightve been overselling it). I tell him theres just rooms, and men lay in there jerking off with the door open, and then if you like what you see, you just walk in and dock dicks or whatever. He is CONVINCED i am playing a mean homophobic prank on him- baiting him with visions of lithe, rock hard, naked men walking through clouds of hot steamy steam. So for the record- apparently just by living on the West Coast, im actually more gay by osmosis- than a man who actually has sex with other men.
Gets me thinking. If one- A VERY VERY STRAIGHT MAN- were to walk into one such establishment for a one time only beej…would that make them a gay? Would I…he…even make it in the door? Is there a secret handshake? Specially trained dogs to sniff your asshole as you enter, to check for semen? These are questions worth asking.
So I go online and google search "gay bath house, Milwaukee" (for the first time. I swear). And lo and behold….there is such an establishment almost WALKING distance from him. (With a 4 star Yelp review I might add). I call the place and ask their hours and membership costs, and tell him where it is. He says hes going to head there in a few minutes, and thanks me. I go on with my day, proud of the kind of gay ally ive grown to be.
Eventually a few days passed and I saw him online again. I ask how everything went. He tells me he walked in to the place, but didnt go through with it. "Nerves?" I ask. "Cold feet?". "No" he says. "The place was just kind of grungy looking and sketchy. The lobby had these big old dusty green curtains from the 1970s…"
So BASICALLY…..he went to a place that he knew smelled like windex and cum, expecting to get stuffed full of anonymous cock, and passed up on an orgy because the decor wasn't on point.
And that, my friends……………………is the GAYEST possible ending to this story.****
I was pretty proud of this one. I think its actually ready for performing. Its had a few iterations.
You could trim this down a lot but it's good.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-11-07 at 12:01 PM UTC
Originally posted by Big League jedi You could trim this down a lot but it's good.
It looks like a lot written down, but spoken at normal speed, thats only like two minutes. a 10 minute set, and youve still got a ton going on.
I was considering trimming paragraph 3 and 5 but then it just seems like a knock knock joke.
