Handing out candy to kids on Halloween while shitfaced.

1. 2019-10-15 at 5 PM UTC

   #1
   

   Needledick Needledick Needledick motherfucker [mulishly down your brachydactylia]
   What I'd probably be like is after they go "trick or treat" be like "smell my feet, gimme something good to eat" and give them like 10 items of candy
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • mmQ, 
   • CandyRein
2. 2019-10-15 at 5:12 PM UTC

   #2
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   One time I was remodeling a house towards the end of the day. There was no time, no people, no sun, no nothing; only our crew and a juicy contract that needs to be fulfilled.
   
   Suddenly I hear a ring of the door bell. I thought we ripped that shit out? The whole house is being remodeled form the frame on.
   
   I open the door, covered in paint, drywall dust, wearing a respirator, holding some tool or whatever, and I see a group of kids dressed in some shitty costumes.
   
   I look at the kids, they look at me. I look at the kids, they look at me. There is suspense in the air. One of them says "Oh, sorry". I slap the door shut and keep working.
   
   
3. 2019-10-15 at 5:15 PM UTC

   #3
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle

   Originally posted by Misguided Russian One time I was remodeling a house towards the end of the day. There was no time, no people, no sun, no nothing; only our crew and a juicy contract that needs to be fulfilled.
   
   Suddenly I hear a ring of the door bell. I thought we ripped that shit out? The whole house is being remodeled form the frame on.
   
   I open the door, covered in paint, drywall dust, wearing a respirator, holding some tool or whatever, and I see a group of kids dressed in some shitty costumes.
   
   I look at the kids, they look at me. I look at the kids, they look at me. There is suspense in the air. One of them says "Oh, sorry". I slap the door shut and keep working.
   
   

   
   You should've raped them.
4. 2019-10-15 at 5:16 PM UTC

   #4
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   I remeber once I was with Jake and we found a house that had an honor system bucket of candy that said please just take one. Obviously we took the entire bucket of candy.
5. 2019-10-15 at 5:21 PM UTC

   #5
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by mmQ I remeber once I was with Jake and we found a house that had an honor system bucket of candy that said please just take one. Obviously we took the entire bucket of candy.

   
   I remember one time I was sitting at home getting drunk or whatever. There were no people, no planet, no country; only me, and a bottle.
   
   Suddenly my phone rings. Its Vlad; he says to come meet him for beers. Who am I to decline free beer?
   
   When I met him, he gave a brief rundown that the following day is Halloween, and that the yankees are going to dress up and all that. He said that the best thing to do, is to go door to door (1am at this point), and to smash all of the pumpkins.
   
   And so we went block by block, and systematically smashed all the pumpkins door to door. I am honestly surprised that we never saw any cops; we covered almost an entire neighborhood, and I came home with pumpkin seeds all over my boots at around 7am.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • mmQ
6. 2019-10-15 at 5:27 PM UTC

   #6
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   Smashing pumpkins is fun. Its.. a treat, if you will. I like the day after Halloween when you find them randomly in the streets. Fucking punk kids. Punk kids. Pump kins. Heh.
   
   I'm gonna put a bunch of pumpkins outside my apartment building with a sign that says PLEASE SMASH ME and wait for some kids to do it then come running out and beat the shit out of them anyway
7. 2019-10-15 at 5:30 PM UTC

   #7
   

   CASPER Soldier of Fourchin
   This was pretty much status quo. Halloween was my favorite. Id do a horror movie/ simpsons tree house of horror marathon while constantly smoking heroin n sipping gin n tonics, and whenever the doorbell rang id just put all my paraphernalia in the Tv stand.
8. 2019-10-15 at 5:31 PM UTC

   #8
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by mmQ Smashing pumpkins is fun. Its.. a treat, if you will. I like the day after Halloween when you find them randomly in the streets. Fucking punk kids. Punk kids. Pump kins. Heh.
   
   I'm gonna put a bunch of pumpkins outside my apartment building with a sign that says PLEASE SMASH ME and wait for some kids to do it then come running out and beat the shit out of them anyway

   
   Over the years I've been too busy, and never at home to do such things. But I retired this year (for now).
   
   This year I will put a pumpkin outside the door to lure the punk ass kids, and give kids whole bags of candy. Fucking faggots, I'm so sweet I'll make their teeth rot.
   
   I wonder if the parents will get offended if I open the door dressed like a separatist?
   
   Naturally, I will take the pumpkin to the woods and shoot it to bits the day after.
9. 2019-10-15 at 5:56 PM UTC

   #9
   

   vindicktive vinny Black Hole
   give them a real treat.
   
   give them meth.