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Barnacle penis thread

  1. #1
    GAAAAALM African Astronaut
    Listen, barnacle penises are fascinating things.

    First of all, they’re gigantic. Certain barnacles have penises that extend 8 times the length of their bodies, giving them the largest penis-to-body-size ratio in the entire animal kingdom. Their sex organs are large for a reason, though. You see, barnacles are sessile creatures, which means that the adults attach themselves to something like a rock or a boat, and then basically don’t move from that spot for the rest of their lives. But, if you can’t move, how do you find a mate? Well, one way is to grow a ridiculously long penis and use it to reach over and inseminate your neighbors. The longer the organ, the more partners you can reach and inseminate.

    On top of that, some barnacles can actually change how their penises look based on where they’re living. Pacific Acorn Barnacles that live in calm waters have relatively long and thin penises, while those living in more turbulent waters tend to have shorter, stouter penises. This makes sense from a hydrodynamic perspective, since a shorter, wider, heavier penis would bend less and be easier to maneuver in a rough sea.

    The really crazy thing is that if you take a Pacific Acorn Barnacle that’s lived its entire life in a turbulent area, and you transplant it to a much calmer area, that same individual will change its penis size and shape to accommodate its new conditions. This neat trick is a great example of something biologists call “phenotypic plasticity,” which is the ability to change your physical traits in response to the environment.

    I realize my enthusiasm about barnacle penises might sound a bit immature, but I’m in good company. Charles Darwin wrote extensively about barnacles and their reproduction, and he too was wowed by the size of their penises.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    GAAAAALM African Astronaut
    barnacle bump

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #3
    Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country Dark Matter [my scoffingly uncritical tinning]
    Originally posted by GAAAAALM barnacle bump


    hawt
  4. #4
    GAAAAALM African Astronaut
    In case anybody is still confused about how barnacle penises work

  5. #5
    GAAAAALM African Astronaut
    barnacle bump
  6. #6
    gay
  7. #7
    GAAAAALM African Astronaut
    Originally posted by vindicktive vinny gay

    This is a heterosexual thread
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