While many have written of the world history of naked bodybuilding in great detail, few have focused on the American history of the sport. While the explorers of the American continent and the pioneers who conquered the West had INSTILLED a VIBRANT AND POWERFUL tradition of beta men swinging their THICK SIX SHOOTERS to ESTABLISH DOMINANCE, this had sadly fallen apart in the greatest tragedy that ever befell the United States of America. The Civil War had torn apart the country, sown seeds of hatred across the entire nation, and culled the ranks of TRUE beta MEN down to a mere afterthought. The legendary CHARGES of naked men, thrusting their MANMEAT (painted blue or gray of course in the ancient Pict tradition) in the air, were now but a faint memory of those few who had survived from the beginning of the War. After all, what true beta male would stand on the sidelines while his brethren fought and died?
After the Civil War, however, the Republican party bosses managed to maintain a STRONG HOLD on the positions of power, making sure that they were HANDED down to men of GREAT VIGOR. After impeaching the clothmo Southerner Andrew Johnson who Lincoln only accepted as his Vice President in an ill-fated gesture of tolerance, the party bosses turned to MEN OF GREAT GIRTH AND STATURE. Ulysses S. Grant was the first, a man of great THIRST for power, alcohol and CUM. Following him came Hayes and Garfield whose beards were only DWARFED by their THUNDEROUS MANSTICKS. Unfortunately, the Southern Democrats became quite good at recruiting clothmo candidates who appealed to the immigrant population and decried the THICK & THROBBING power structure that was so STUFFED with solid Republican party men. Tilden, like the coward he was, used loaded rifles to intimidate his way to winning the popular vote in 1876, but lost in the electoral college. Yet his victory allowed the Southern clothmos to throw out Reconstruction and intimidate the blacks through donning white cloaks and hoods symbolically demonstrating their CLOTHMO hatred of the naked, beta male physique.
And then in 1884, disaster STRUCK. The Republicans named a man of even GREATER stature and repute. James G. Blaine, also known as THE PLUMED KNIGHT: �Like an armed warrior, like a plumed knight, James G. Blaine from the state of Maine marched down the halls of the American Congress and threw his shining LANCE full and fair against the brazen foreheads of every traitor to his country and every maligner of his fair reputation.�
While they only spoke metaphorically in that time and age, the true IFNB aficionado knows that by SHOWING IT BIG, James G. Blaine intimidated his way into receiving the nod for the greatest position in the land: POTUS. But the Southerners named a Bourbon Democrat: Grover Cleveland. A man so disgusting and homosexual that he paid for another man�s child and pretended he was a bastard! New research has revealed that Cleveland was being blackmailed by his so-called mistress, that if he had not paid her off, she would have revealed his disgusting secret. Cleveland was a never-nude and always wore posing briefs even in the most INTIMATE of settings.
The Democrats managed to pull one over the eyes of the public through two means. First, they reached out to the immigrants by publishing a transcript of a preacher�s statements while stumping with Blaine. The statements were rightfully condemnatory of the clothmo menace in the Democrat party saying that the Democrats were the party of �Cum, Catholicism and Civil War.� But the Irish & Eastern European immigrants with their staunch anti-clothmo stances and limited command of English thought that Blaine�s right hand man was denouncing good old-fashioned STIMMING. Cleveland lied through his teeth and managed to sway them to vote for his corrupt clothmo ways. Finally, Cleveland appealed to those weak betas within the Republican party who demanded a more Puritan approach. They wanted a civil bureaucracy where clothmo betas too afraid to show their COCKS could still rise through the ranks with written reports, words, and time spent away from the gym doing paperwork. Cleveland promised such weak and vacillating young Mugwumps as Teddy Roosevelt that he would give them that power, that bureaucracy, that shelter from the proud nude bodybuilding party bosses. And so they too defected from the PLUMED KNIGHT AND HIS SHINING LANCE.
While the Republican party would regain the presidency under McKinley, it was Cleveland who broke the strong HOLD of the GOP party bosses and who would lead to the disastrous reign of the treacherous Teddy and Woodrow Wilson. And so clothmos stole the White House away from the men who had PAINTED IT WHITE with their pulsing cumloads.
