2016-12-31 at 6:33 PM UTC
No more dingleberries. No more pee stains on your pants. Few, free simple tips.
Urination
The first one is easy. Sit down when you pee. I don't get what's so many about splashing piss on your thighs, but fuck society on this one. After you're done, shake, like you normally would, but notice there's still a little drop of pee or on your cock? Take a piece of toilet paper and dab til dry.
Shitting
A little more too it than pissing. The first step is to trim the hairs around your gooch. Don't shave, because the stubble will itch growing back. This will help ensure less poo will cling to body and hair. Next, lean forward when you start pushing out the turd. This while guide your anus to a smoother and cleaner evacuation. And the lastly, make sure all of your shit is in the toilet bowl (those that haven't been courtesy flushed.) If you have keep to wiping, you're not done.
Oh, and never trust a fart.
Post last edited by Semiazas at 2016-12-31T19:53:10.704617+00:00
2016-12-31 at 8:38 PM UTC
kroz
weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
Those are all good points, though personally I do shave my gooch, ass crack.
I had a couple run ins with trusting farts last month, I drank some beers and took some gabapentin and went for a walk to the store. Two nights in a row while walking past the same coffee shop I sharted myself and had to go in the coffee shop and throw away my underwear. It was terrible.
I also sit down to pee when I'm at my place or a friends place. But other than that I use the urinal at public places. I never understood the mentality behind guys thinking its not manly to sit down and pee just because girls do it.
Just like how some people say its gay if you like to fuck girls up the ass just because gay guys fuck each other up the ass...
Post last edited by Bill Krozby at 2016-12-31T20:41:30.128673+00:00
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
One night, I got home at like 3am from work. I had a few drinks, so I got the munchies and a ate a shit ton of ice cream. I have a little problem with dairy and I felt like I had to take a shit, but I was taking my roommate to work in a few hours, so I figured I could hold. We woke me up, and was running late, and it was a little more urgent, but his job was like 5 minutes away, so once again, I figured I could hold it. I dropped him off at work, Subway, and I almost went in, but I was sure I could make it home. A couple blocks up, I knew that wasn't going to happen but the only place that was open was the Walmart around the corner. I was moments away from launch time, and I knew the time it would take to drive there, park, run into the store and the bathroom was physically impossible. So I pulled into Auto Zone in the next drive, went around back to the dumpster and just let loose a cascade of diarrhea. Wiped myself off with my shirt, threw it in the garbage, and fled the scene of the crime. I feel bad for the guy that had to open that morning.
2016-12-31 at 10:07 PM UTC
Squatting is a very good pooping posture. Unlike sitting down where the colon is kind of folded poping a squat allows that fucker to just slide right out.
2016-12-31 at 10:17 PM UTC
How profound your contributions to the sum of total human knowledge.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2016-12-31 at 10:21 PM UTC
I don't many crazy stories these days. So this is just my little part to contributing to this utopian cesspool. :)
2016-12-31 at 10:38 PM UTC
Video/media design for amateur porn.
Well, since you've already derailed this thread, I am going back to school for rehabilitation counseling.
2016-12-31 at 11:19 PM UTC
You're so in love/obsessed with me. It's kinda cute. :)
But just remember, sweetie, even if I end up scrubbing toilets, I'll still be more productive that you have ever been and ever will be. Now run along and go back to trying to find the right combination of chemicals to make you a real boy.
2016-12-31 at 11:26 PM UTC
I wondering how long it will take for reject to come to his boyfriend's defense.
