2019-06-22 at 12:44 PM UTC
i'm in my early 30s along with this other dude i work with. he's chill and not a hardcore addict like i am/was but he does blow and drinks beer and has had his fair share of psychedelics/mdma/weed. last night we were closing the place down together along with some new girl that he was training. she's only 20 years old so like before she showed up the guy was telling me "too bad the new girl will be here because if she wasn't we could get some brews and weed while we close." my first reaction was "lol i already smoked a bowl just now" but then i was like wtf she's 20 years old she probably fucking smokes and drinks anyways. i don't understand why we should pretend like it's something "grownups" don't do when everyone knows people have vices and shit. anyways he was like IDK man she looks pretty clean cut to me.
so i didn't really see her that much for a while then eventually she came to the kitchen to do some stuff and i was listening to trance and goreshit and kmfdm and stuff like that at max volume and some trance song was playing and she started pumping her fist in the air like people do at raves and talking about listening to electronic music and then i looked in her eyes and i could see that "i do drugs" look in her eyes and it was so obvious to me she at least smokes weed so i don't see what the big deal is.
there's also these cambodian kids i work with who are brothers and their cousin was a gangbanger who did a solid amount of time i also used to work with and they're both way more aware and capable of most of the retarded adults i work with. meanwhile all the adults are like trying to watch their language around them and shit like these kids don't know what the fucks up. they like to pretend like theres some secret adult club where we're all better than people because we pretend to be upstanding citizens. fuck that, these kids are talking to me about xanax bars and cocaine and someone needs to tell them the truth about that shit so they don't end up fucking their lives up but everyone is too busy acting like they have a stick up their ass and have never done drugs to bother.
so i told them DON'T TAKE XANAX and cocaine is a waste of time but definitely try acid, mdma, and weed when you get a chance but don't let it consume you. one of them just moved away, we had the same first name so it was tough for me to get through
2019-06-22 at 2:24 PM UTC
I sold Molly to a bunch of kids that weren't even in highschool yet
2019-06-22 at 2:42 PM UTC
change my name,
shave my head,
tell my friends,
that i'm dead
run away from the pain
yesterday is not today
