I quit my job this morning, went in super drunk and fucked off and ent up leaving. Met up with this gutter punk slut at the bus stop and we smoked some bud. She's pretty hott but kinda smelled bad. We walked around the neighborhood and I walked her to where she lives under an underpass with her old man "literally an old man" and the old man was kinda frothy and started calling her a bitch and what not whatever.. I wouldn't want to live with that dude. Basically trolled the guy until he told us to both leave. I stayed up all night and decided to go to mitt romneys plasma center in my hood because I really need money until I start my new job monday. I stuck out like a sore thumb because I was the only person there that wasn't black / a cholo and I was wearing short shorts instead fubu or pink sweat pants that says "PORK" on the rear.
I hate needles despite using them a lot but they use really big needles and its in you for like 40 minutes.. They interviewed me and asked me a bunch of weird questions like if I have sex men and if I've ever accepted money or drugs in exchange for sex and the lady that was interviewing me had to document my tattoos and she asked what one of them was and I said a triangle and she asked me how to spell triangle... and then she asked me about another tattoo and I told her its an ape.. and she asked me how do you spell ape..
kinda gross. But anyways they gave me a physical, I was luckily wearing my calvin klien micro fiber briefs that show off my sweet ass and package because the doctor was fucking hott as fuck and called me sweety. I was really blushing the entire time but she was going over my medical records and mentioned how I have prostitis. (I have an enlarged prostate and it gives me problems for the last few years) and that she will have to do a prostate exam. I faked a false outrage, I was like "ahhhh man, are you really serious?!.." And she was like Mr. Monks its important that you specifically get one at least every 9 months so we will know if its something more insidious. (I have to go to austin urology and have seen several doctors because it is a legit problem) But sure I was faking an outrage but in my head I was like "YES YES YES YES FUCK YES!!"
She went to go get Bacteriostatic lubercating jelly and she came back in and told me to pull down my underwear, at this point I was to lose it really hard. she was fucking hott. I always come across sexy nurses, doctors, and detectives.. why? And I was thinking to myself holy shit this about to happen. And she said I promise I'll be quick sweety and I said under my breath, "my body is ready.." and she said "excuse me?" and I said "do whut?" and then I said "oh nothing"
She throttled me real well.. I'm pretty sure I made a jeeeeert sound somewhere in the entire thing, I was exhausted and even broke a sweat, she told me she thinks I'm fine but its definitely enlarged. It felt so fucking good I completely ignored the faggot med student that was there smiling watching.
Anyways they I gave my plasma which helps save lives, And they confirmed that I don't have hiv, the syph or anything else so they gave me 60 bucks and when I was leaving I got to spin a wheel like on the game shows and I got an extra 10 bucks (lol what kinda crack head shit is this?)
But yeah after that I went to burger tx for a burger and above burger tx is barflys my favorite place to drink and had a few shots and I talked to my favorite drummer, the gont from ringo deathstarr. But yeah I haven't had any attention from a woman in about three weeks but this doctor rocked my world and my booty. I would do it again I had an instant crush on her. It felt so fucking good, the only thing that could of made it better is if I crammed tek up my asshole before going in, but I didn't know I was gonna have a prostate exam...
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson
It's 111f here today (heat index)…I expect it's hot in Austin too huh…that must have been one sweaty asshole.
yeah my b hole burns, even at my interview the other day I was wearing a polo shirt with a tie trying to look professional but the owner she was like, "would you like a glass of water" and I was like yes.. its getting kinda sweaty out der.. and chuckled and she did too. pretty cringe but thats what you have to do sometimes, some things are so hard to say, even though you say them everyday .
Okay I just woke up like an hour ago from a much needed nap as I'd been up the last 2 days and I saw a text on my phone asking how I was doing and I asked who is this?
Evidently its the nurse who did my vitals.. lmao.. I think that breaks some kinda paitent / care taker protocol or something. I'm kinda flattered. But at the same time I wish it was the doctor texting me instead. lol
who'd of thunk mitt romneys plasma center would get me some puussssaaaaaay. I started praying to god the last few weeks for good luck and now I have older women and men coming out of the wood work for me.
Originally posted by FBI
if you only knew what people were thinking about you
Oh I do. I'm a lot more self aware than people give me credit for. It's a curse and a blessing. But hey you gotta do your best day by day. I'm pretty woke, I can't even do bad things anymore because my heart swells constantly.
Originally posted by FBI
the extent of your self awareness is limited to not trying to cross the street in front of a moving vehicle. other than that your mental capacity is maxed out by basic body functions.
uh oh we got a wild lil homo here. I cross the street in front of vehicles all the time and I've yet to die.
yeah i would expect a hadur like you to say something like that. we'll see how it all pans out on my date tomorrow, the law of attraction is real. I can walk up to your grandmother and say "SUP BITCH" and she will say "that Bill Krozbyler is such a sweet young man"
