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Life is a Royal pain in the ass...

  1. #1
    WellHung Black Hole (banned)
    Being a human being totally sucks. Satisfying all my physical needs is annoying enough... Mental and emotional?fuck that noise. I wish I was born a dung beetle instead.
  2. #2
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Sure is, exit is on the end of a gun barrel.

    kthxbai
  3. #3
    WellHung Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by Sophie Sure is, exit is on the end of a gun barrel.

    kthxbai

    Not necessarily, douchebag. Read some stories about all the people who thought that and then got maimed for life. idiot.
  4. #4
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
    You need to learn how to not give a fuck.
  5. #5
    WellHung Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by Erekshun You need to learn how to not give a fuck.

    You don't get it dude. u just dont get it.
  6. #6
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
    I get it because I got it.
  7. #7
    Dregs African Astronaut [that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
    you could always set yourself on fire. its always enjoyable watching shit burn. its kinda euphoric.
  8. #8
    WellHung Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by Dregs you could always set yourself on fire. its always enjoyable watching shit burn. its kinda euphoric.

    I wanna rape you in front of your mother instead. Is she available?
  9. #9
    larrylegend8383 Naturally Camouflaged
    You know it's bad when Johnny considers you a pile of shit
  10. #10
    Dregs African Astronaut [that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
    Originally posted by WellHung I wanna rape you in front of your mother instead. Is she available?

    yeah she's waiting to stab your fucking cock off with an ice pick. oh she is very thorough.
  11. #11
    We'reAllBrownNosers African Astronaut
    Originally posted by WellHung Not necessarily, douchebag. Read some stories about all the people who thought that and then got maimed for life. idiot.

    I can instruct you on how to make some quality plastique explosives and blasting caps, that'll do the job without fail, if you want. Completely painless. The shockwave is quite a bit faster and more complete than any gun. Just strap it to your head and flip the switch.

    EDIT: you can take a good dose of your drug of choice first. I know a guy who tried to OD on opiates, said it was quite painful when they revived him. Should've used C4
  12. #12
    WellHung Black Hole (banned)
    Folks I just want a 100% sure fire way to off myself in a quick painless fashion... Is that too much to ask? What's 100% effective?
  13. #13
    WellHung Black Hole (banned)
    Originally posted by We'reAllBrownNosers I can instruct you on how to make some quality plastique explosives and blasting caps, that'll do the job without fail, if you want. Completely painless. The shockwave is quite a bit faster and more complete than any gun. Just strap it to your head and flip the switch.

    Yes. Or send me some cyanide. Can I give myself a lethal injection of something?
  14. #14
    We'reAllBrownNosers African Astronaut
    I'd go with the explosives

    Always thought it'd be cool if someone tripping on LSD strapped themselves to a rocket, got blasted into space, and the explosives detonated as they left earths atmosphere. Course they'd probably die first if they're actually strapped to the outside of a rocket
  15. #15
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Originally posted by We'reAllBrownNosers I can instruct you on how to make some quality plastique explosives and blasting caps, that'll do the job without fail, if you want. Completely painless. The shockwave is quite a bit faster and more complete than any gun. Just strap it to your head and flip the switch.

    EDIT: you can take a good dose of your drug of choice first. I know a guy who tried to OD on opiates, said it was quite painful when they revived him. Should've used C4

    I decided to go dynamite helmet if i ever wanna exit. But not really, because nitroglycerine is a pain. I'll probably make a stupid amount of TATP, put it in a PVC pipe and hold it to my throat. I know that's pretty ghetto but who cares as long as my head explodes off, i'll consider it a success. It will be too bad that i'd be dead, because i'd probably do it somewhere on some public field and i'd love to see the police puzzle that one out.
  16. #16
    We'reAllBrownNosers African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Sophie I decided to go dynamite helmet if i ever wanna exit. But not really, because nitroglycerine is a pain. I'll probably make a stupid amount of TATP, put it in a PVC pipe and hold it to my throat. I know that's pretty ghetto but who cares as long as my head explodes off, i'll consider it a success. It will be too bad that i'd be dead, because i'd probably do it somewhere on some public field and i'd love to see the police puzzle that one out.

    There was this one guy who mixed AP with chewing gum, blew his face off and killed him. Actually I'm not sure that was on purpose.

    Anyway NG is a lot easier to make than you would imagine, you just have to do it really slowly. I made the same mistake Megalomania of Rogue Science did, that is, not doing it slowly.... A volcano of nitrating solution shot into the air, along with the glycerine, and a tiny bit of acid landed on my hand. I felt real dumb until I realized Mega did the same stupid shit when he was younger.

    Might as well use a more classy explosive. Something stable and reliable so you don't accidentally just end up maiming yourself and surviving.
  17. #17
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Originally posted by We'reAllBrownNosers There was this one guy who mixed AP with chewing gum, blew his face off and killed him. Actually I'm not sure that was on purpose.

    Anyway NG is a lot easier to make than you would imagine, you just have to do it really slowly. I made the same mistake Megalomania of Rogue Science did, that is, not doing it slowly…. A volcano of nitrating solution shot into the air, along with the glycerine, and a tiny bit of acid landed on my hand. I felt real dumb until I realized Mega did the same stupid shit when he was younger.

    Might as well use a more classy explosive. Something stable and reliable so you don't accidentally just end up maiming yourself and surviving.

    I kind of dislike liquid explosives, but if i'm gonna make it anyway, i'm rubbing some of it on my dick before i go.

    Nitroglycerine specifically, i mean. I wouldn't do it with MEKP.

  18. #18
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Originally posted by WellHung Folks I just want a 100% sure fire way to off myself in a quick painless fashion… Is that too much to ask? What's 100% effective?

    Okay, in the interest of harm reduction (because a botched suicide can do a lot more harm than a successful one), I am going to take your question seriously and offer some things I have thought of when in a similar state of mind.

    BUT FIRST, you have to listen to me tell you why you shouldn't proceed with what you're thinking of doing.

    While I'm not one of those brainwashed morons who believe that suicide is ABSOLUTELY NEVER a reasonable thing to do, I do believe that it should be a last... and I mean ABSOLUTELY LAST... resort.

    Have you tried escaping modern life to live in a Buddhist monastery? How about escaping to the wilderness to try to get in touch with your evolutionary roots?

    I'm also going to assume you've tried seeking professional help - both psychiatry (i.e. the medication route) and psychotherapy (i.e. the "talking therapies" - CBT, group therapy, and so on and so forth).

    I'm also going to assume you've tried some basic troubleshooting to determine the ultimate source of why you feel the way you do. There are tons of different things to explore here - is it a substance (ab)use issue? Is it a social life issue? Is it loneliness? Is it a physical health issue? Etc, etc, etc...

    Now, assuming you've literally exhausted all of the above areas (and, honestly, I would wager that you have not - at least not every last conceivable thing)...

    Some of the ways I have considered offing myself include:
    1. Combining MULTIPLE extremely fatal poisons. I would also probably take a heavy dose of heroin and some benzos so that at least my last moments of life are somewhat enjoyable.
    2. Buying TWO high caliber hand guns, and shooting myself in the head from two different sides. It greatly decreases the chances of surviving with debilitating head wounds.
    3. Jumping from an incredibly high point.

    And, by the way, this brings me to another point...

    I read somewhere that 100% of Golden Gate Bridge suicide attempt survivors regretted the decision on the way down.

    If you take anything from this post, take that little bit of "trivia".

    When it comes to the topic of suicide, it has been one of the most paradigm shifting things for me.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  19. #19
    We'reAllBrownNosers African Astronaut
    Blasting gelatin + ETN might be nice. Or methyl nitrate plastic, extremely brisant so your head shatters into extremely small pieces, sending a fine mist of brains, blood, skin, hair and bone all over the place.
  20. #20
    Nil African Astronaut [the overexcited four-footed chanar]
    Originally posted by WellHung Folks I just want a 100% sure fire way to off myself in a quick painless fashion… Is that too much to ask? What's 100% effective?

    Study my avatar.
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