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I feel like a right Taco Bell End

  1. #1
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    So I go to one of my two local friendly neighbourhood pubs, and it turns out they have a stand up comedy night there now.

    During a comment about animal testing in science, I did the contemporary, male equivalent, version of a the monocle drop... I dropped my pint of beer and shattered broken glass and beer all over the bar and floor.

    But that's not the exact cause of today's emotional experience.

    I immediately settled my tab, helped clean up, then exited promptly out of embarrassment.

    I then proceeded to my backup bar for when I get kicked of the other one for being too drunk. I ran into a few folks who had been in the previous bar; a dude and two gals.

    They invite me over to their table, and so I join them. But a British fellow, with a bit of a unique, albeit Commonwealth all the same, accent was a tad (maybe a decade) younger than me, and had the blond hair and exotic accent going on, was among them.

    The ease with which he flirted with every and any attractive woman in the bar was a spectacle to behold. He got the cute young red headed servers number on his way out... With the two gals he arrived with.

    Now I feel like an old POS. Back on the day drinking wagon of course, because why even try at this point.

    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  2. #2
    Octavian motherfucker
    Don't worry m8 we have our ways. When I come to Canada I'll teach you some tricks 👍
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #3
    The Americans (well most of the ones I've interacted with in the last 22yrs) don't understand the term "bell end"
  4. #4
    tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
    'Splain then!
  5. #5
    Originally posted by tee hee hee 'Splain then!

    I already told you what a bell end is...after I'd called you one.
  6. #6
    tee hee hee Naturally Camouflaged [slangily complete this slumberer]
    I dobt remember 🥺🦚
  7. #7
    Originally posted by tee hee hee I dobt remember 🥺🦚

    bell end...
  8. #8
    Octavian motherfucker
    Just downloaded Tinder and it made me feel fucking depressed. Got the lucks just not the means.

    "Yeah girl well I'm unemployed and my hobbies are reading, masturbating, and pissing people off on this forum that I won't tell you about. How's about you?"
  9. #9
    Originally posted by Octavian Just downloaded Tinder and it made me feel fucking depressed. Got the lucks just not the means.

    "Yeah girl well I'm unemployed and my hobbies are reading, masturbating, and pissing people off on this forum that I won't tell you about. How's about you?"

    Don't say unemployed say "A Lord of Leisure"
  10. #10
    Octavian motherfucker
    I'm literally evolving into Malice, fuck my life!
  11. #11
    Got to work with what you got, back in blighty I used to have a friend who was a window cleaner and when we were out at the pub pullin women he'd tell them he was a "vision technician"
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  12. #12
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Tinder straight up terrifies me.

    I have literally only one friend who does well in there, and he does REALLY well.

    I hate to say it, but the whole Incel ideology that the highest tier Chad beds all the women, leaving nothing for the rest of us, even if we're high tier (but just not quite enough tier), is all too realistic.

    And this all new sexual revolution only exacerbates it all...

    Its like the sexual revolution is all about women getting their Chad, and the other 99% are left marrying and providing for what's left in the aftermath.

    I dunno... It once sounded crazy to me... But it's seeming more and more reasonable by the day.
  13. #13
    Octavian motherfucker
    I don't remember there being so many lip job sluts caked in fucking make up, I find it intimidating ha-ha. I just started liking every rat that come on my screen. Like fishing with hand grenades.
  14. #14
    whoami Tuskegee Airman
    nigger
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  15. #15
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    Don't even get me started on the mouse ears, photoshopped eyes, or duck lips.

    Its just too much...

    I'm gonna build a time machine to take me back to the Victorian era and get me a 19th century debutante who went to finishing school and all that.

    I'll endure balls if that's what it takes.
  16. #16
    Octavian motherfucker
    All them girls look like they would suck fresh dick as soon as your back is turned.
  17. #17
    Octavian motherfucker
    WTF you have to pay to see who likes you? When I was last on this 3 years ago you would receive a message saying you matched?

    Fuck me I have to pay to find the love of my life.
  18. #18
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    I have no idea how tinder even works. I've only watched friends on it.

    It wouldn't surprise me in the least if they found a way to capitalize on the sex market disparity.
  19. #19
    Technologist victim of incest
    Originally posted by Octavian Fuck me I have to pay to find the love of my life.


    That’s what attracted people to datehookup. It was free. Then you found the forums and completely forgot about dating anyone.

    As far as dating sites go, you get what ya pay for, sorry to say. There are more expensive ones that are for people who want serious relationships, like E-harmony. Don’t know if you have that there.
  20. #20
    gadzooks Dark Matter [keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
    I can't do dating sites... The spontaneity of a serendipitous chance encounter is what does it for me.

    I have a fetish. Its romantic spontaneity. I don't even care about the sex at that point.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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