Originally posted by Ghost
FIRST WE BANGEM THEN WE TAG EM!
THE BANGEM TAGEM BROS OOO OOO!
lol hehe the gont with the long hair actually called me last night telling me to turn down the music (i played the same beastie boys song 3 times in a row)
but anyways the best way to get a girl to like you is to put at least 2 table spoons of semen in her the first night you meet her.
there was this one girl i really liked a lot younger than me and she was really standoffish but we went back to my place and she did a tarot card reading and told me how I will be a successful bissness man in the future, anyways, we started making out and she pushed me away and told me that she doesn't want to do this if its going to be an only one time thing and I was like, it wont be. busted a load in her and she smiled while ontop of me and kissed me.
unfortunately she went through my library and saw several books stamped with jail stamps and asked me what that was about, but i was pretty krunk and didn't feel like explaining so she told me she had to go.
gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
Originally posted by inert_observer
Step 1. Obtain potatoes
Step 2. Start a pot of boiling water. Add two tablespoons of baking soda and mix.
Step 3. Peel and dice potatoes into slices or cubes that are about a half inch thick.
Step 4. Place potatoes violently into boiling water and set a timer and stare blankly at the wall for roughly 12 minutes.
Step 5. Preheat oven to 450F or about 230C. Get some pans ready with tinfoil and cooking spray, unless you're a masochist.
Step 6. Remove potatoes and place them into a bowl. They should be hard in the middle but mushy on the outside. Add olive oil and whatever you like your potatoes with. I like using thyme, rosemary, black pepper, chives, onion, a few cloves of fresh garlic (I love garlic), salt, and just a little bit of butter.
Step 7. Mix potatoes in bowl until the seasonings mix and the potatoes are surrounded in a mashed potato like substance. You don't want to actually mash the potatoes, so be gentle with them. You just want that soft outside to get all mushy and slutty.
Step 8. Place potatoes into the oven and set the timer for 10 minutes. I don't like giving oven timers because you should always keep an eye on your food while its in the oven, but 10 minutes is a good time to do your first check. This step usually takes me 20 minutes or so but it can vary depending on how you cut your potatoes, how well you mixed them, and how big your dick is. Make sure to flip the potatoes two or three times as you see them get roasty brown.
Step 9. Take the potatoes out of the oven and let them cool for 5min. Then throw them out. Congratulations! You've made potatoes that will be soft and moist on the inside, but crispy on the outside!
You don’t. If she doesn’t see the features or feels the aura of your magnetic personality, then sir you best to keep it moving. You’re fighting a losing battle, unless you start to get desperate and waste money to see what she likes just to make a comparison. It’s stupid and creepy and i would never do such things. You should draw pictures of her. Like this one time from dh, this girl name Larneu-
gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
Originally posted by MOON PERSON T-PAIN masturbated in your Croutons and MORALLY SUPERIOR BEINGS for natural male enhancement
I don't think anybody should be lobing their kids
Actually, lobotomizing your kids will save you a fortune on college tuition savings plans.
Plus, they'll be a lot better behaved and way less likely to get into any kind of trouble.
tee hee hee
Naturally Camouflaged
[slangily complete this slumberer]
Originally posted by gadzooks
Are people unironically saying "be yourself"?
If "being yourself" worked for these people, they wouldn't need advice on how to change.
Exactly! thats why i said be like george costanza and do the opposite of what u normally do. Did anyone acknowelge that nugget of truth? No of course not.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
gadzooks
Dark Matter
[keratinize my mild-tasting blossoming]
Originally posted by tee hee hee
Exactly! thats why i said be like george costanza and do the opposite of what u normally do. Did anyone acknowelge that nugget of truth? No of course not.
I swear, one of these days, I'm gonna try the Costanza method.
