The first thing to ever exist in the history of the universe, was a glass of lemonade.
"I am in love," Gnatty proclaimed, making love the second thing to exist.
"I am happy," Gnatty shouted, bringing joy to the cosmos.
"I am thirsty," he then said, creating the existence of desire and suffering. It was the first taste of unpleasantness that the all-deity had ever experienced. He did not like it.
Gnatty grasped at the glass, created the mouth, and chugged the yellow water in one go. "Delicious," he said. "How joyous and good. I love lemonade." Gnatty smiled. "I LOVE LEMONADE," he shouted to the mountains. "I LOVE LIFE," he shouted to the rivers and valleys.
The birth of worlds was too much for Gnatty to handle. Here he was, all alone. The only being in the universe.
"I KNOW WHAT THIS NEEDS," Gnatty said, filling the planets with glasses and glasses of lemonade.
Gnatty invented arms, and twirled about a field of flowers and gophers. "What a delightful thing this existence is! I love the flowers, and gophers, and all of my lemonade. But I am rather tired, so I think I will make a bed and then go to it."
The deity did as he thought, and thought as he did, never thinking twice, God forbid. He built a house in the image of a squid.
But try as he might, Gnatty could not sleep. He cried and invented and counted the sheep.
"It's much too bright," Gnatty exclaimed. "Come sleep with me, my son. Just hop into bed." The son did as directed, and lowered deep past the horizon.
"Goodnight, dear gophers. Goodnight, valued flowers." Gnatty wept a single Indian tear. "But most of all, goodnight to you, my lemonade."
Ever since that day, Gnatty has lived happily among the flowers, gophers, and endless glasses of lemonade. The End. Please clap.
