Dr. Hashish Patel couldn't lift it up himself, wouldn't prescribe me Viagra, and his nurses refused to help after one hurt her back and the practice didn't have money for workers' comp. Each year, I have to find a fresh, young doctor who's also a supermodel just to speed along my annual physical. Most of them are unwilling to meet beforehand to discuss my penis, but I refuse to blindly give them a copay in the event they aren't hot enough for me to get it up. My flaccid penis is a dangęrous and complicated problem, and I suspect it growls and salivates in my sleep. One day it will eat me alive.
