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Tax Season is Best Season
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2019-02-19 at 3:20 PM UTC
Originally posted by Bologna Nacho Look up Louis CK "I'm broke"
Funny as hell
Fuck that loser he rapes women and hates people that smoke weedDavidson went on to tell the audience that C.K. once tried to get him fired from his “Saturday Night Live” gig for smoking marijuana. C.K. hosted an episode in April 2017 and, according to Davidson, “told all the producers in front of me that all this kid does is smoke weed and he’s gonna smoke his career away.” Davidson added that C.K. also went to “SNL” creator and executive producer Lorne Michaels to complain about how he “smokes so much weed that it makes people uncomfortable.”
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2019-02-19 at 3:20 PM UTC
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2019-02-19 at 3:21 PM UTCFind a hooker with a bank account, get her to cash the check and split the money with her.
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2019-02-19 at 3:22 PM UTC
Originally posted by Ghost There is this service on the darknet that makes fake government of Canada checks up to a few thousand dollars.
https://www.publicsafety.gc.ca/cnt/rsrcs/pblctns/archive-cntrft-chcks-mn-rdrs/archive-cntrft-chcks-mn-rdrs-eng.pdf
Man I used to print my own cheques back in the day.
I had everything worked out...
-- cheque paper (OTC).
-- magnetic ink cartridge (so the cheque scans and everything. also "OTC", but slightly more obscure).
-- laser printer.
-- fake ID connection (harder to find).
-- friend willing to get fake ID with his photo and cash the cheque at a cheque cashing service for 50% payout.
-- sufficient knowledge of how branch, transit, and routing numbers work to be able to fake them with just enough realism.
Made a few grand, but then literally weeks later, all the cheque cashing stores (Money Mart, etc) put the word out, and they found a way to detect them. -
2019-02-19 at 3:23 PM UTC
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2019-02-19 at 3:24 PM UTCYeah I think they just send you the high quality scans and you print it out and have to make it yourself
Originally posted by -SpectraL The feds would get her to finger you. Not worth a few thousand.
And my bitch, swear to God she won't snitch
I told her when she hit the bricks, I'll make the hooker rich -
2019-02-19 at 3:26 PM UTC
Originally posted by Ghost Yeah I think they just send you the high quality scans and you print it out and have to make it yourself
Government cheques would definitely benefit from a template style (since they all look identical).
My whole thing involved fabricating imaginary companies, with custom cheques each time.
But government cheques would work well IF the templates are good. -
2019-02-19 at 3:29 PM UTCBut Ministry cheques (Canadian welfare/disability) would probably raise suspicion... I was on social assistance as recently as like a year ago, and it seemed like it's almost universally direct deposit now.
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2019-02-19 at 3:32 PM UTC
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2019-02-19 at 3:32 PM UTCThey're all barcoded, which means the barcode on the cheque would have to be one that is not only valid and activated, but also issued and uncashed. You can't just make up any barcode and expect it to scan properly.
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2019-02-19 at 3:37 PM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL They're all barcoded, which means the barcode on the cheque would have to be one that is not only valid and activated, but also issued and uncashed. You can't just make up any barcode and expect it to scan properly.
There are three sets of numbers printed on a cheque...
1. The institution number (each bank has its own such number).
2. The branch number.
3. The account number (your actual chequing account number).
Numbers 1 and 2 are easily found online with a simple bit google searching.
Number 3 can be faked.
It depends on what the machine does the second it reads that magnetic ink.
If it's just checking if such a sequence of numbers is realistic, that's a pass.
If it's checking if that particular account # corresponds to an actual account #, then it's a strong maybe.
If it's checking the balance to see if funds are available, then chances are pretty slim. -
2019-02-19 at 3:45 PM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks It's carry over. So I paid tens of thousands in tuition and, at least in Canada, tuition for accredited post secondary education is tax deductible.
BUT… I was making close to $0 while in school (worked very part time, living mostly on student loans… Which I'll still be paying for years).
Now, about 5 years after graduating, I finally have steady income. So I get to use those carryover deductions on my taxes this year.
The funny thing is, though, if someone hadn't educated me on that, I'd have lost out entirely. I hate managing money. I mean, I like money… But accounting type stuff… Not my forte.
Ingenious my good man 👍
I’m laughing my ass off at all my compadres who were too stupid to change their deductions to accommodate the tax changes implemented by our trumped up loser prez
Having done so in good time I’m getting a better refund than I’ve ever gottenThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2019-02-19 at 4:26 PM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks There are three sets of numbers printed on a cheque…
1. The institution number (each bank has its own such number).
2. The branch number.
3. The account number (your actual chequing account number).
Numbers 1 and 2 are easily found online with a simple bit google searching.
Number 3 can be faked.
It depends on what the machine does the second it reads that magnetic ink.
If it's just checking if such a sequence of numbers is realistic, that's a pass.
If it's checking if that particular account # corresponds to an actual account #, then it's a strong maybe.
If it's checking the balance to see if funds are available, then chances are pretty slim.
Barcode
A barcode (also bar code) is an optical, machine-readable representation of data; the data usually describes something about the object that carries the barcode. Traditional barcodes systematically represent data by varying the widths and spacings of parallel lines, and may be referred to as linear or one-dimensional (1D). Later, two-dimensional (2D) variants were developed, using rectangles, dots, hexagons and other geometric patterns, called matrix codes or 2D barcodes, although they do not use bars as such. Initially, barcodes were only scanned by special optical scanners called barcode readers. Later application software became available for devices that could read images, such as smartphones with cameras.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barcode -
2019-02-19 at 4:27 PM UTCGetting a large refund is not smart
Better than paying tho -
2019-02-19 at 4:47 PM UTC
Originally posted by Bologna Nacho Getting a large refund is not smart
Better than paying tho
It's very smart depending on your philosophy.
Having a little extra held back each week/month from your paycheck isn't missed (unless you are on pauper wages) and at the end of the year you get a lump sum to do whatever you want with...the interest on which if you saved it your self would be negligible...and countered by any early withdrawal fees from your saving account anyway.
At the same time you are aiding your country by loaning them the money to do what they need to do, fight wars, build walls etc, making you a great citizen.
Having a little held back is like saving your loose change up in a bottle. Not enough to miss but over time builds up to a nice little lump.
I got back $3700 this year. $1500 more than I expected (thanks Donny). $74 interest at 2% lost...big deal. Chances are that extra amount I pay on taxes wouldn't have gone in any savings/investment plan anyway and would just have been consumed on my monthly budget (probably on shit like Starbucks coffee and masturbatory paraphernalia).
Nothing stopping you from having your normal savings/investments going on at the same time... I look at it as just a little side "bonus" to do what you want with..be that spend it, pay some bills, buy yourself a real doll...whatever. Usually mine goes on a trip to England actually which runs me about $2500-3000 a trip.
All work and no play etc... -
2019-02-19 at 4:49 PM UTCWould you loan me 3k interest free?
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2019-02-19 at 4:53 PM UTC
Originally posted by Bologna Nacho Would you loan me 3k interest free?
No as I don't know you, but if I did know you and I was guaranteed to get it back at the end of the year, I might loan you $200 a month for a year.
The problem with that argument though is private individuals are way less "trustworthy" when it comes to loans than the IRS is...who HAVE to follow the law pretty well. Sure the law might change and they suddenly say "ok we are keeping all your money you gave us"...but when that happens the US as we know it would be over anyway and paper money would only be good for wiping your ass on.
Also is the loan I'm giving you helping me and the country out as a loan to the government does? ..or would you just be buying weed with it... -
2019-02-19 at 6:03 PM UTCTax season makes me angry.
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2019-02-19 at 6:04 PM UTC
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2019-02-19 at 7:33 PM UTC
Originally posted by -SpectraL Barcode
A barcode (also bar code) is an optical, machine-readable representation of data; the data usually describes something about the object that carries the barcode. Traditional barcodes systematically represent data by varying the widths and spacings of parallel lines, and may be referred to as linear or one-dimensional (1D). Later, two-dimensional (2D) variants were developed, using rectangles, dots, hexagons and other geometric patterns, called matrix codes or 2D barcodes, although they do not use bars as such. Initially, barcodes were only scanned by special optical scanners called barcode readers. Later application software became available for devices that could read images, such as smartphones with cameras.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barcode
I know what a barcode is, man.
Look at a cheque. Right now, find the nearest cheque and look at it.
There is no "barcode".
At least, not the kind you see on products at the super market.
At the bottom of a cheque are maybe two or three funky symbols (that might kinda sorta look like a barcode), and those three numbers I mentioned above.
The entire cheque is printed with magnetic ink, though, and when places take your cheque, they run it through an initial scan. All that scan does is:
1) Confirm that it's actually a cheque.
2) Save the information contained on the cheque for LATER verification.
