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My JESUS is a jedi

  1. #21
    cupocheer Space Nigga [unwillingly condescend the dp]
    Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING IV: The Flower of Death and The Crystal of Life Jesus told his followers to quit their jobs, give their stuff away and disown their family.

    ๐Ÿค”

    Please don't be a false prophet.

    Matthew 4:19

    "Come follow me," Jesus said, "and I will make you fishers of men."
  2. #22
    We'reAllBrownNosers African Astronaut
    I realize this thread was only started by an internet attention whore claiming to have a vagina so it'll probably get like one million replies, but technically, Jesus was not a jedi.

    I remember being in this church, observing the female pastor's bullshit, saying Jesus was brown, etc, claiming he was a jedi. I asked her if she even knew where Nazareth was after mentioning he was from Nazareth. LOL she said "i'd have to look on a map"

    I informed her it's northern israel, and at the time, nazarenes(people from nazareth) did not practice the judean religion. Not to mention, the term "jedi" wasn't even coined back then. At the time, people below northern israel did not have much Rh negative blood, and Jesus was AB negative. The nazarenes were more closely related to scandinavian people than to judeans, evidenced by the culture, genetic makeup, and the average IQ of israel in comparison to scandinavian countries. Jesus eventually had to leave because he was being gang-stalked by the pharisees, and that's partly also, why there's more RH negative blood in spain and france than elsewhere. He did not have good things to say about the Judean religion.

    EDIT: this thread reminded me that females are stupid, should never be allowed to teach anything important, should not be able to vote, and generation z is the most cucked out bunch of s0yboys the world has ever known.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  3. #23
    Erekshun Naturally Camouflaged
    Damn, Christmas is barely passed and we are already discussing Easter.
  4. #24
    Soyboy IV: The Flower of Death and The Crystal of Life African Astronaut [the oppositely able-bodied hop-step-and-jump]
    Originally posted by Erekshun Damn, Christmas is barely passed and we are already discussing Easter.

    I celebrate Good Friday like it is Christmas.
  5. #25
    cupocheer Space Nigga [unwillingly condescend the dp]
    Originally posted by We'reAllBrownNosers I realize this thread was only started by an internet attention whore claiming to have a vagina so it'll probably get like one million replies, but technically, Jesus was not a jedi.

    I remember being in this church, observing the female pastor's bullshit, saying Jesus was brown, etc, claiming he was a jedi. I asked her if she even knew where Nazareth was after mentioning he was from Nazareth. LOL she said "i'd have to look on a map"

    I informed her it's northern israel, and at the time, nazarenes(people from nazareth) did not practice the judean religion. Not to mention, the term "jedi" wasn't even coined back then. At the time, people below northern israel did not have much Rh negative blood, and Jesus was AB negative. The nazarenes were more closely related to scandinavian people than to judeans, evidenced by the culture, genetic makeup, and the average IQ of israel in comparison to scandinavian countries. Jesus eventually had to leave because he was being gang-stalked by the pharisees, and that's partly also, why there's more RH negative blood in spain and france than elsewhere. He did not have good things to say about the Judean religion.

    EDIT: this thread reminded me that females are stupid, should never be allowed to teach anything important, should not be able to vote, and generation z is the most cucked out bunch of s0yboys the world has ever known.

    Technically, Soup, ... oops! ... I mean James ..?you are WRONG.
  6. #26
    We'reAllBrownNosers African Astronaut
    Originally posted by cupocheer Technically, Soup, … oops! … I mean James ..?you are WRONG.

    You have a jedi-beak for a nose. Your brother looks like a young but much gayer version of Linus Torvalds.
  7. #27
    cupocheer Space Nigga [unwillingly condescend the dp]
    Originally posted by We'reAllBrownNosers You have a jedi-beak for a nose. Your brother looks like a young but much gayer version of Linus Torvalds.

    I have a petit, well-formed nose completely conforming to my fragile facial bone structure. (Again, the brown of your nose has blurred your vision and you are attempting to confound me with someone else)?

    My brother, God rest his soul, was well-loved in life and unbearably missed in death.๐ŸŒนโœ
  8. #28
    stl1 Cum Lickin' Fagit
    Cupo, I thought Jesus was your gardener.
  9. #29
    cupocheer Space Nigga [unwillingly condescend the dp]
    Originally posted by stl1 Cupo, I thought Jesus was your gardener.

    No, that was Jose. He isn't the one married to my niece, however?
  10. #30
    larrylegend8383 Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by We'reAllBrownNosers I realize this thread was only started by an internet attention whore claiming to have a vagina so it'll probably get like one million replies, but technically, Jesus was not a jedi.

    I remember being in this church, observing the female pastor's bullshit, saying Jesus was brown, etc, claiming he was a jedi. I asked her if she even knew where Nazareth was after mentioning he was from Nazareth. LOL she said "i'd have to look on a map"

    I informed her it's northern israel, and at the time, nazarenes(people from nazareth) did not practice the judean religion. Not to mention, the term "jedi" wasn't even coined back then. At the time, people below northern israel did not have much Rh negative blood, and Jesus was AB negative. The nazarenes were more closely related to scandinavian people than to judeans, evidenced by the culture, genetic makeup, and the average IQ of israel in comparison to scandinavian countries. Jesus eventually had to leave because he was being gang-stalked by the pharisees, and that's partly also, why there's more RH negative blood in spain and france than elsewhere. He did not have good things to say about the Judean religion.

    EDIT: this thread reminded me that females are stupid, should never be allowed to teach anything important, should not be able to vote, and generation z is the most cucked out bunch of s0yboys the world has ever known.

    You're so full of shit you remind me of a very specific poster.
  11. #31
    We'reAllBrownNosers African Astronaut
    Originally posted by larrylegend8383 You're so full of shit you remind me of a very specific poster.

    Research it if you think that. That's all I can say about that.
  12. #32
    mikeyagain African Astronaut [unalterably regard the persecutor]
    Originally posted by larrylegend8383 When the penis goes in the vagina?

    Sounds kinda like my birds and bees speech, when I was a kid..
  13. #33
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    Jesus was a cult leader

    which is in the same general category as being a banker

    maybe be was a jedi after all
  14. #34
    larrylegend8383 Naturally Camouflaged
    No Mike Mike I didn't say when the pee pee goes in the pig pig.
  15. #35
    ScarletLetter Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by cupocheer Change water to wine and try to convince me again that when the rivers run red it isn't an issue of God?๐ŸŒนโœ

    I'll await your prognosis.

    Iโ€™m awaiting the^^ turning the river into wine scenario! A โ€˜goodโ€™ wineโ€™s fucking Xpensive!๐Ÿ˜ณ
  16. #36
    ScarletLetter Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by Lanny Jesus was a cult leader

    which is in the same general category as being a banker

    maybe be was a jedi after all

  17. #37
    cupocheer Space Nigga [unwillingly condescend the dp]
    Originally posted by mikeyagain Sounds kinda like my birds and bees speech, when I was a kid..

    Sounds like sorpstar (James) from Dh days.

    He never believed he kept getting his ass kicked by a woman. He always thought I was a man so he called me 'cyber-vagina' among other things. LittleManRantingAtOpinions
  18. #38
    mikeyagain African Astronaut [unalterably regard the persecutor]
    Originally posted by larrylegend8383 No Mike Mike I didn't say when the pee pee goes in the pig pig.

    ๐Ÿ–

    ๐Ÿ˜Š
  19. #39
    ScarletLetter Tuskegee Airman
    Originally posted by We'reAllBrownNosers *technically, Jesus was not a jedi

    *Not to mention, the term "jedi" wasn't even coined back then.

    So^ ifโ€™ing this was true, why has it been all through history, that INRI was tacked above the crucified Jesus?

    >INRI stems from the Latin phrase ''Iesus Nazarenus Rex Iudaeorum'' meaning ''Jesus of Nazareth, King of the jedis''

    BAAAAMMMMM. ๐Ÿ˜ณ
  20. #40
    UNSUB Tuskegee Airman [my unrivalled skillful mastoid]
    Originally posted by cupocheer

    So is that like an actual preserved photo of him or are you guilty of worshiping false idols?

    *taps foot*
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