All my plans are on hold currently... My vehicle is taking longer to get fixed than first estimated and might just be getting a new vehicle anyway, courtesy of the elderly guy Ive been caring for- he seems pretty insistent on it despite telling him no.
This guy I'm living with is in love with my son, treating him in everyway like a grandfather. He had lost his son in his first and only marriage to SIDS, which resolved the marriage and he has been alone the majority of his life save for his sister who died of a heart attack 10 years ago on forth of july- she just keeled over dead in front of him. He had served in Vietnam and his job was to bag up the bodies- he is very patriotic and while cleaning I ended up moving this radio he had. He burst into tears worried about it, since a young man he was friends with gave it to him right before he was supposed to be shipping home, but was KIA.
This guy has infected legs that require bandaging. Before I came the nurse only came out twice a week to do the bandaging. I stepped up to help him so hopefully they can get healed again. This guy needs someone to help him a lot. Its sad. He is such a giving person and such a lonely soul.
Another person who has come to stay is this old lady. She is sweet as could be, and while everyone takes her a prude and typical old woman, she's not. We've had real heart to heart discussions about both of our depression and suicidal ideations. Her grandson has been stealing money from her for years, along with her drugs. When I went to pick her up to bring her here, I arrived with her in tears as she just realized that when he came over right before I got there, that he stole 200$ from her purse along with her oxycodone, her heart medication, and her arthritis medicine- he left her magnesium though :/. It pisses me off so much that someone would do this to her- he was over because she was paying his phone bill.
The month before, along with other shit she gave him, she gave him 200$ for his daughter's first birthday so they could throw a party. He won't even let her see her grandchild and didn't even so much as bring a picture of the party for her.
She has been head over heels for my son, and just like the old guy, loves and treats my son like a very affectionate grandparent. When we go out or if she thinks of ANYTHING he needs, she gets whatever for him and just lights up everytime she sees him smile- both of them do. I really am amazed at how happy this baby makes them both and how quick they have just attached to him, wanting to just give him the world. I feel blessed that my son, despite having no real family like most people, has grown on complete strangers that just give him their whole hearts. Not even my son, but me, they've just given me their hearts too. I am constantly asked if I need anything or want anything. Both of them have gone to the store and returned with clothes they saw they thought I would like, shoes, hell, even the old guy came back one day with this pretty little purse handing it to me saying he thought I needed a pretty purse to match a pretty young lady. If I even hint I don't have many cigarettes, on his way to the store he has brought me home packs. If we talk about food we like, the next day its almost certain it'll be in the refrigerator. He's even planning for us to go fishing together soon, and tomorrow the older lady is insisting on taking us all to the beach and then to dinner.
If I stay here, my son and I would want for nothing, not ever and even then, they've both been prattling on about making sure my son can go to "the best college anywhere he wants" when he is older. The old guy has an appointment with his lawyer this month- Im pretty sure its to adjust his will to include my son. The old lady has flat out said she is going to be doing something similar soon too.
I feel very mixed about all this. On one hand, I am glad I can help them both with their health related issues- the VA isn't doing enough to help this guy, and it seems to be getting better now I've been changing bandages daily as well as mixing up some ointments I've made myself to put on his legs, but we've just began this routine not too long ago so we will see how it pans out. The old lady, she suffers from heart failure and diabetes and I've been helping her with hwe insulin along with a wound she has on her foot. Since her grandson stole her pain meds, I've been giving her T-PAIN and the same for the old guy since his doctor has been under medicating him anyway- they both deal with a lot of chronic pain, especially the old guy and thankfully the T-PAIN has been working for that as well as helping with both of their depression they've had no doubt caused by the pain, and shit care they've received from the healthcare system and either lack of family or family that uses, abuses and neglects them.
I sometimes feel like I am taking advantage of them both for as kind as they are to my child and myself, but I've basically have turned into a live in nurse- I go over their medications with them, and help them decide what the best thing to do is. They trust me a lot. I also have been doing the dirty work as far as the wound care goes and helping them both with personal hygiene.
His nurse had an attitude with me at first when I stepped in and began doing things my way, but now she really can't argue since its showing improvement and since she's been here there has been very little doing shit her and the doctor's way. I'm always going with them to their doctors appointments in the coming weeks because they both (him especially) feels the doctor doesn't listen to them and they think he might listen to me- so I've volunteered to be their patient advocate sorta...
I feel overwhelmed by it. I dont want to let them down or go back to the way things were just a few short weeks, but I don't wanna be stuck here unable to live my life. I've been doing side work too, so its not like I am taking advantage of them though they do go out of their way to make my life a lot more comfortable than it would be. These people need help and nobody has stepped up to do it. It makes me happy that I can do what needs doing and I feel so good that I'm actually, visibly helping a man with these problems get something that's been going on for 5 years now, healed to the point his nurse is amazed at the progress. Also, the old lady, she has completely cut off her family who has been using her since she's been here. I talk to her a lot and try to advise her and show here how all the shit she is doing for these assholes isn't even helping them and how she needs to let them learn to help themselves. She's a giving person and it seems all that money has been redirected to my son and even me when it strikes her to buy me stuff... I guess she's always just wanted love and a family and people to appreciate her and not having that, she just took what she could get from her spoiled, drug addicted grandson and her daughter who is basically the same, who would only show up to visit her to get their phone bill paid and when they needed money and when shed get her check.
I know I am in a position I could use both these people for as whatever I wanted and I could ditch this job anytime I wanted (fuck, they love when I am home with them and spend my day hanging out watching TV with them). The fact that I let my son be apart of their lives, show them love, and say kind words is enough that I could take them pretty much for all they are worth- shit, her grandson has been calling her a bitch minutes after handing her his phone bill to be paid, or asking for money, or making excuses he needs money for his daughter, then not even bringing the baby over to see her or letting her come spend time with her granddaughter- he has done all this for years now and still she's tried every way to help and give her last dime to them- atleast if I were going to use her, I'd actually be giving her what she wants in life; a grandchild to be close to and someone who is nice and loving toward her.
The old guy, he has just been alone so long. He treats me like a father and a close friend- recently, knowing how depressed I've been, and my broken heart, he has been trying to get me to meet someone, hinting I should be dating, offering to lend me his car to go wherever I want to go (the one day I needed to get to work he handed me 20$ for gas and another 10$ saying he wanted me to go somewhere after work to have a good time despite me arguing I would be back after work and I had money for gas), and when I mentioned this guy I had met a little bit ago after he kept prying, he keeps nudging me to take him up for a date he has practically been begging me to go on with him. I kept blowing this dude off until it just became such a pain in the ass that it was easier to just say yes and tell him I was planning a date than listen to him worry about me and telling me all sorts of shit about why I should be trying to meet a man.
Just a month and my life has been completely turned all in such crazy directions. Its not been bad, but I really just want to go and live my life. But I don't want to abandon people who need me either. I feel like I am stuck... Maybe not in a bad place but it certainly isn't where I want to be...
(Also, I need to figure out wtf BLONDE hash is and where the fuck one would find it- the only guy said he wasn't interested in pot but this blonde hash he used to smoke years ago- I'm thinking of just getting him some hash oil to try and see if he likes it.. Gah, its cool and all he is open to marijuana but damn if he don't have to be difficult about it lol)
