2016-01-27 at 2:48 AM UTC
Well spacemen I am sad to say that by Monday or Feb 1st I should be in the local hospital held up in the psych ward.
The plan is to consume 2 bottles of bundy with 1gram of DPH and call 911 and say someone is trying to poison me. Then I will act crazy until the amba lamps takes me to where I belong. I ran out of funds and patience and have daily panic attacks over the smallest things. I think I'm dying. I can't sleep, I don't eat and I'm sober as fuck. I can't take it anymore. I just want money but I can't get a job. I havent slept on a bed since last year.
Also im gonna have to steal the bundy and DPH, I can't wait. Friday night either welfare calls me back and helps me or I'm taking the easy way out.
They will take away my phone and internet but I will make sure I have pens and paper and write a lot, maybe bribe an orderly to upload my rents to niggasin.space.
It was nice knowing you all. I had Lords of fun at RDFRN but after it was gone I lost one of the few things keep ing me out of crippling depression . the other was my house which burned to the ground.
Just like in 2014 when I did this it will be at that house except this time I will know what happens next - this is space nigga SIGhnimg off and returning back to earth. I hope I make it
You guys take care alright, hope to see you all again some day hopefully prospects will be brighter next year
2016-01-27 at 2:55 AM UTC
If you can't get a job in Fargo, where literally every store is hiring, you probably do need to be in the psych ward. Good call m8.
2016-01-27 at 2:56 AM UTC
I can get a job but not a shower or bed? AMERICA
2016-01-27 at 4:15 PM UTC
Another night of no sleep. Aggression levels are highest and i can't walk past windows without wanting to break them. I spent my days at the unemployment office because I got the wifi on my phone so they can't see me shitpost here. I just want to sleeeeeeeeeep. I'm bitching to my family through email. My back hurts. I'll make sure to record a YouTube video when I call the ambalamps
2016-01-27 at 10:23 PM UTC
Don't go to a psych ward. You'll want to leave after a day or two or three. You can go hitchhiking, see murica, go to mexico even, fuck. Sneak into canada. (though it is cold). You have so many more options than to just sit and take pills all day at a psych ward. They are going to strip away all of your rights in there. You don't take the drugs they want you to take and they take away your visitation rights, now you can't see your lawyer, your family, whoever, you can't get outside help. Maybe you don't have anybody, lots of people don't. Maybe you take the drugs, but you don't like the way they make you feel, so you refuse. Now they're keeping you forever. You want to leave now, youre tired of this. You're locked in. You can't call for help. You can't contact the outside world. They've got you trapped in their own little universe where they are the gods and you are the experiment. People who work in places like this, the people who STAY working in places like this, they have a hard dick for power. They *thrive* on controlling you, making you submit to their will. They'll praise you when you do, tell you you're doing good. If you apply yourself here you could be working in mcdonalds in about two years they say.
You're not that. You're better than an experiment. There are other things you can do. You want to do this because you're *giving up* but when you get stuck there, you won't get the opportunity to try. I don't know what your record is, but if you get diagnosed with say, schizophrenia, or some other mental illness deemed dangerous, it can really fuck your life up. Fuck, you may be better off in jail or prison. At least there they won't take away your right to talk to a lawyer. Do you want to be put in custody of the state? Custody of your parents or grandparents, whoever. I don't know you, but I'm sure you don't want that. I know you just want to be happy. You just want things to be better. They're not going to be if you go get yourself committed. You're going to create paper for yourself and not the good kind.
Maybe I'm wasting my time. Maybe this *is* what you want. I don't know. I hope that whatever you do, you're happy with your decision in the end.
2016-01-28 at 1:48 AM UTC
I just smashed a few windows . jail is option #2
2016-01-31 at 6:21 AM UTC
I got a job at a factory for minimum wage start at 11am Tuesday and welfare sent me money and food stamps. I also broke a few more windows lastnight . also just saw an old friend on the street and he asked me where to get coke and I said method is cheaper and longer lasting and he walked off. I know where he lives and I'm gonna show up with a bag of salt and a lightbulb and a gram of meth
