User Controls
Fear disease
-
2018-12-31 at 6:18 AM UTCso when I run out of my meds, I have an overwealming sense of fear and darkness.
like buyers remorse on crack or that something is wrong. But I know it's a chemical adjustment.
it sucks. and the depression is at an all time high. But I had to pay my car payment since I'm 2 days late. I moved my payment to the last of the 10 day grace making 2 days the same as a no payment on time. 2 months in a row.
I have to wait till wed before I can make sure my maxed out credit cards with just over a 100 in credit left on each make their payments OK before I can buy the meds I need. 2 of them.
internet hit me twice last month. wtf. I wonder how many times I have been charged twice by them. now I have to look back the entire year.
my homelessness would still be 2000 a month with Car, Insurance, Food, Credit Card minimum payment and monthly interest at 28% on one of them (its 180 for both cards not including the store card which is another 50), Cell phone, Internet and a few other crap I owe on. it's over 2000 a month if I was living in my car 100% of the time. that's why I threw "Buyers remorse" into the feeling. since I have been homeless technically for 5 years (though not full time) I have had it. I can't buy shit without wanting to return it out of fear.
2000 a month to be homeless in California. -
2018-12-31 at 6:20 AM UTCgive up everything you own and take up my cross. walk barefoot in the desert for 40 days.
-
2018-12-31 at 6:27 AM UTC
-
2018-12-31 at 6:32 AM UTC
Originally posted by totse3.com Which desert?
the supreme desert of all, the desert of the undifferentiated mind, of chaos. the desert where satan will temp you with materialism - not lust, but just the idea of there being things at all. can you walk through chaos, with no vestige of the material clinging to you as you ascend? -
2018-12-31 at 6:37 AM UTC
Originally posted by Rizzo in a box the supreme desert of all, the desert of the undifferentiated mind, of chaos. the desert where satan will temp you with materialism - not lust, but just the idea of there being things at all. can you walk through chaos, with no vestige of the material clinging to you as you ascend?
I can't go the day without a shower and clean socks. so Not Really. forgive me for little faith but No! -
2018-12-31 at 6:37 AM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
-
2018-12-31 at 6:54 AM UTC
Originally posted by Rizzo in a box you can not go a day without socks, but you can go forever with your soul locked in prison?
I want to try and convert the next jehovas witnesses to come to my door now. Dunno how but I'll get this line in there. I feel it would be the final nail in their conversion -
2018-12-31 at 6:58 AM UTC
Originally posted by GGG I want to try and convert the next jehovas witnesses to come to my door now. Dunno how but I'll get this line in there. I feel it would be the final nail in their conversion
everytime a jehova or mormon or any aggressive christian sect tries to recruit me into their abortion of a religion, I'm very polite, smile, and then ask if I can tell them about what I think. then I redpill them on the demiurge, the True Christ, energy, the Logos. often I have to beat them away as they want me to be their master, or speak at their church, or sire their children. -
2018-12-31 at 6:59 AM UTC
Originally posted by Rizzo in a box everytime a jehova or mormon or any aggressive christian sect tries to recruit me into their abortion of a religion, I'm very polite, smile, and then ask if I can tell them about what I think. then I redpill them on the demiurge, the True Christ, energy, the Logos. often I have to beat them away as they want me to be their master, or speak at their church, or sire their children.
Wow that sounds like quite the hassle. Have you thought about just smiting them? -
2018-12-31 at 7:03 AM UTC
-
2018-12-31 at 9:02 AM UTC
-
2018-12-31 at 10:29 AM UTC
Originally posted by totse3.com so when I run out of my meds, I have an overwealming sense of fear and darkness.
like buyers remorse on crack or that something is wrong. But I know it's a chemical adjustment.
How do you run out of meds?
For real, though, I keep forgetting that one major distinction between Canada and America.
Just come up here.
Heck, I may even be willing to marry you and you can get your citizenship (Canada lies on about the same point on the political spectrum as California as a state does, if not more left, so I'm pretty sure gay marriage is legal here now).
Originally posted by totse3.com it's over 2000 a month if I was living in my car 100% of the time. that's why I threw "Buyers remorse" into the feeling. since I have been homeless technically for 5 years (though not full time) I have had it. I can't buy shit without wanting to return it out of fear.
2000 a month to be homeless in California.
I used to live out of a car as well, full time though, but also in a notoriously expensive place to live (Vancouver, BC). I ended up driving out to the rural outskirts, though, and that at least alleviated much of the overnight parking stress. I spent about a month parked at the same highway rest area at one point (though I would leave during the day). -
2019-01-01 at 9:41 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks How do you run out of meds?
For real, though, I keep forgetting that one major distinction between Canada and America.
Just come up here.
Heck, I may even be willing to marry you and you can get your citizenship (Canada lies on about the same point on the political spectrum as California as a state does, if not more left, so I'm pretty sure gay marriage is legal here now).
I used to live out of a car as well, full time though, but also in a notoriously expensive place to live (Vancouver, BC). I ended up driving out to the rural outskirts, though, and that at least alleviated much of the overnight parking stress. I spent about a month parked at the same highway rest area at one point (though I would leave during the day).
I was homeless in my car full time for nearly 3 years. the last 3 on and off here at my girlfriends. sometimes I just crash at the airport.
the safest place I found was a train station (subway train station garage) in an ok town with less crime. one time when a security guard climbed on the back of my truck.. I thought someone was breaking in, and yelled at him. he started calling in codes on his radio to a dispatch.. so I took off.
but considered those 3 years, only time I had that issue. Well there was one other bizzare shit.. but it's pointless -
2019-01-01 at 9:45 AM UTCYou took off with him in the bed of your truck? Did he fall out? Why was he in your truck lol
-
2019-01-01 at 9:48 AM UTC
Originally posted by GGG You took off with him in the bed of your truck? Did he fall out? Why was he in your truck lol
Not intentional, but I jumped up front and He was just jumping off .. then he ran off while making these radio cals. I freaked out. but I forgot there was a cop at the bottom floor of the garage (one of those circular to each floor kind) and I stopped and said "hey, I am just snoozing because I have to take the first train into work in the morning" (which was actually true/ half true) and he said "Oh that's not one of us, it's the security" and then he got a call and took off. like "Hey, don't trip on it" so I went and parked near a beach for a while until things chilled.
