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How many Sploos could beat up a Malice?
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2016-01-13 at 5:32 PM UTCI think we are all familiar with Malice's great Mexican physique and Sploo's muscle atrophy so how many Sploos would it take to beat up Malice? I think 3 Sploos would fuck him up. It's way harder to fight three people at a time than most people think. Sploo also has excessive experience from fighting his dad and Autism while Malice has never even felt human touch. Can he take a punch? I dunno, man. That's why I made this thread.
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2016-01-13 at 8:04 PM UTCAren't autistic kids supposed to have the primal strength of a rabid chimpanzee? I think that sploo fag would be a formidable foe especially high on computer duster syncans and speed
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2016-01-13 at 8:13 PM UTCMalice has super-autism too, though. Maybe they wouldn't fight but fall in love with eachother.
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2016-01-13 at 8:14 PM UTCHow many Sploos would it take to satisfy a Malice?
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2016-01-13 at 9:13 PM UTC
How many Sploos would it take to satisfy a Malice?
At least three, Malice is comparatively big to sploo. -
2016-01-13 at 10:16 PM UTCTriple anal. Hardcore.
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2016-01-13 at 10:25 PM UTCI'll poor wine in your asshole and drink it like a broken sputtering fart fountain nigga..let's experiment like the romans
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2016-01-13 at 10:28 PM UTCNow that's my kinda weird ass gay shit.
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2016-01-14 at 4:20 AM UTC
Tactics. Sploo would likely be in an emotional rage, just flailing around wildly on instinct, I'm incredibly unemotional and detached and could analyze the situation, use the environment to my advantage, utilize techniques few would ever think about. Genius intellect, enhanced reflexes and processing capabilities, hyper-connected brain allowing me to take in an abnormally large amount of information, an extreme level of awareness: http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/d-brief/2013/11/07/brains-of-autistic-children-are-surprisingly-hyper-connected/
I may not feel pain normally like others do, to the same extent, anymore, (also related to autism, a lack of sensitivity to pain is a common symptom), and, particularly with phenibut, I can enter into a hyper-aggressive fearless state. I've honed my body in isolation from years of weight training, I won't lie and will admit I lack experience with combat and tactics, along with having a very noticeable hyper-efficient way of moving and doing things (someone once mentioned this to me, said something along the lines of "You have this hyper-efficient way of doing things that just says "I kill people." It's awesome, though, I bet you can walk for miles (I can and did regularly, just for the exercise/experience)." If it was a matter of survival, I would adapt the most brutal, absolutely ruthlessly efficient, fighting style, where one hit would be enough to disable a sploo. My knuckles may be abnormally large, the shape of my fists capable of delivering unusually strong punches, and I've refined my movement patterns, have an extreme systemizing mental architecture that just allows me to develop the most efficient and effective methods, methods for delivering power. Just practicing my techniques, striking the air, which I have to hold back on so my joints won't become detached, is enough to launch me forward. An uppercut will launch me into the air whether I want to or not, a hook or haymaker will cause me to do a minimum of a 360, multiple revolutions if it was at true full force etc.
I'd like to/would consider joining an MMA gym with an accelerated learning program, seeing how fast I can master it, enough to have a sufficient starting point for actual competition, where I could then use all my other abilities for an enormous boost and learn on the fly, fly through the ranks, just researching everything to an extreme extent in the manner I do when working on a project I have interest in, developing the most efficient/effective methods/techniques, fighting styles and training regimens, backed by scientific data, knowledge and studies most aren't close to understanding or being aware of, along with a perfected diet and pharmacological enhancement.
So to answer the question, the number of sploos I could take on would only be limited by my endurance. -
2016-01-14 at 9:45 AM UTC
Tactics. Sploo would likely be in an emotional rage, just flailing around wildly on instinct, I'm incredibly unemotional and detached and could analyze the situation, use the environment to my advantage, utilize techniques few would ever think about. Genius intellect
Stopped reading there. -
2016-01-14 at 9:47 AM UTCAlso Mal Mal, even if all that internet tough guy posting is true you're not going to wake up from a bullet to the brain.
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2016-01-14 at 12:50 PM UTCThey are fist fighting in this scenario. Not in a ring, though. No rules. No weapons. Semi soft ground. Maybe a field.
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2016-01-14 at 1:26 PM UTC
Stopped reading there.
I lol'd.
Having been very detached in a couple fights, I can already see how all of Malice's time spent watching anime would not come in handy. Detachment is bad. Malice is conflating tactics with strategy. Malice might be a good strategist, where detachment is healthy, but I can tell already that he'd be fucking shit in a fight. It doesn't matter how ripped you are or how smart you are, what matters is winning the fight. Being ripped might help with that, being smart does not even factor into fighting (beyond preparation). You do not want to be detached, you want to be very fucking involved. You don't want to have to think about what you're doing, you just need to know what it is, do it, and keep fucking doing it. Malice: if you even managed to connect a punch, you'd probably instinctively pause to gauge how efficient it was and whether you needed to throw more.
You are not going to have time to analyze the situation before somebody has landed 3 punches on you faster than you can blink. Fists do not come at you at "analysis" speeds. Real life is not turn based combat. Sploo is retarded, but he looks squirrelly. Malice talks like a CIA paper pusher - not infantry - and that would become painfully obvious in a fight. A single, determined sploo would probably kick his ass on the grounds of Malice's mindset alone. Sploo would immediately take the advantage, and Malice being Malice... well... he wouldn't be able to regain it after the first punch triggered his fight or flight response and all pretense about "thought" went out the window.
Don't fight unless you're willing to cripple someone in a fit of blind, adrenaline fueled, retard rage. If you're planning on winning fights with intellect, you're going to be shit out of luck. Unless you follow the true path of intellect and use your intelligence to avoid combat altogether or give yourself the advantage. Intellect might help you train and work out a fighting style that suits you, but in a fight you don't want to be relying on real time analysis. 'cause ain't nobody got time for that. -
2016-01-14 at 1:31 PM UTCI just realized this is half baked.
Nevermind, it'd take 2 sploos. 1 to get fucked up on a bottle of bundy and pass out, and the other to hide under that sploo until malice got bored and left. -
2016-01-14 at 1:36 PM UTCThis is Half Baked?!
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2016-01-14 at 1:50 PM UTC
This is Half Baked?!
Isn't it? Fuck. -
2016-01-14 at 1:50 PM UTCI guess we'll just have to rebuild...
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2016-01-14 at 1:53 PM UTC
Isn't it? Fuck.
It is though. Also i made you an appreciation thread faggot, come poast in it. -
2016-01-14 at 2:06 PM UTC
Isn't it? Fuck.
I think I got used to being bannished here. Now HB is all I know. I'm like one of Joseph Fritzel's children with less old man dick in me. -
2016-01-14 at 11:45 PM UTC7.5 Sploos.
