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ATT: §m£ÂgØL (since you obviously didnt mean youd stop postingnhere)
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2016-03-15 at 10:35 PM UTCThis wasnt solely for his benefit Im writing this, but I wanted him to see it, and being that he will respond in a thread ment to contact other members here. My whole life has been a series of fuck ups and it seems everytime I go and make the right choices in life, to fix those mistakes, to be better... thats when the people I love and care about abandon me. It happened before and I should be used to it by now. The situation with §m£ÂgØL and the gun (I didnt pull a gun on §m£ÂgØL the first time, that was solely my husband), and Itold him after, he needed to leave. He didnt, he just made himself more at home and I never, ever directlypointed the gun at him. I toldhim finally he needed to go along with my husband. Even with me threatening, he refused to leave. I was hormonal, and fucked in the head and was just told by my husband he would shootme in the head as Islept. I just wanted both ofthem togo. After the incident, we tried to make things better and ehile yes, the fighting still occurred with my Exhusnand, I never, ever did anything to hurt §m£ÂgØL. he was only here a short time when the gun came outandI believed he was part of the shit with my husband, hence why I wanted them gone. He did grab me with force on the street when I went to leave and again, Id been drug in vehicles before and it terrified me is why I threatened tomake a scene if he didnt let go of me- if I wanted to have been an asshole, Id have flagged down a car and had him arrested for assult on a pregnant woman, because when someone says leave me the fuck alone, donttouch me, and youtouch them, nomatter if you believe its notassult or not, it is. Isuffer alot of pain, maybe he didnt have a problem with him breaking hard but I did, thats how much shit hurts me, especially when I was pregnant. It hurt when he grabbed my arm and tried pulling me. I have backproblems, little things that seem miniscle to a regular healthy person, it hurts me. He also continued to stay with my husband during this 2 hour escipade to stop me from going to a shelter. Now, beyond that... we worked past all that. Ileft thatsackof shit when I saw him atart totreat my son the way he treated me. I havent known how to manage alone for adecade, especially with a baby I never wanted, especially being single. I said to him I wouldjust go until I ran out of money and my medicine and just... probably die or suicide. He asked me if we could try, but his fear was it being so heavy in the start. I said we could try, but just... I didnt want to lose a friendship over this. He promised we wouldnt lose our friendship.we had a lot of rough spots. Sometimes Id be very depressed and just want to off myself- it was incredibly hard caring for a baby alone with my pain and problems. I saw no hope. At times he would hallucinate me saying I hated him or some such nonesense that I swear was untrue. He hurt me alot with that, and most the time I didnt even know why he was doing it because he wouldnt tell me then when he got a little more sane again what he thought I said or did and it wasnt true but he would believe it until he got more sane. I didnt do anything to hurt him. I just tried to help, tried to be positive when he got low... I had a job call me, where I had applied about 6 months before, before my Ex husband left. I didnt know how Id work and whod watch my son but I did find someone and even through this time he was being paranoid and hopeless for our situation, but I kept going and trying to make shit better for us. When we got going better is when it seemed he wanted to throw it away since it got closer to his ultimate fear.. fear and uncertainly because he was going to come down here to help the situation. I dont know what I did for him to just rip me out of his life. At onepoint last year I was a toxic person, surrounded by toxic people, but at the time he threw me away- I was doing everything right and working my ass off to make it work, being a single mom raising this baby and working damn near fulltime (Ive even worked 60-70 hours a week at my job here now a few different weeks, this week Ive pulled 50). I just needed some help here to make it work with him. point is, the harder I try, the harder it gets and thats when people abandon me, not when shit is fucked and Im fucked, but when I begin to do right, thats when I lose it all. Thats when all the support, and my best friend decides Im worthless- after they get all the drugs Ive mailed and christmas presents, then Im no good to them. After they abuse the shit I begged for them not to. paranoia, schizophrenia and benzos... then they decide Im worthless. It hurts a lot, but Im at the end of my road so it really doesnt matter.
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2016-03-15 at 10:37 PM UTCcrack
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2016-03-15 at 11:06 PM UTCjesus christ
jesus fucking christ -
2016-03-15 at 11:14 PM UTCGod makes all of these things happen to you because you don't ever use any paragraphs when you post and you know what I'm not mad at him. It' impossible to read your incoherent ramblings. Could you please press enter every now and then?
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2016-03-15 at 11:58 PM UTCId believe you if there was a god.
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2016-03-16 at 12:23 AM UTCtl;dr
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2016-03-16 at 1:51 AM UTCI think I have more sympathy for you than most hydro but your story changes with each retelling and this whole thread comes off as a big guilt trip. I'm not saying §m£ÂgØL has done nothing wrong but it really does seem like you're trying to guilt him back into your life when he's made it clear he isn't interested. I don't really see the end game since he's obviously not going to be able to support you, a habit, and a kid. There are more constructive things you can be doing with your life.
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2016-03-16 at 2:08 AM UTC
This wasnt solely for his benefit Im writing this, but I wanted him to see it, and being that he will respond in a thread ment to contact other members here. My whole life has been a series of fuck ups and it seems everytime I go and make the right choices in life, to fix those mistakes, to be better… thats when the people I love and care about abandon me. It happened before and I should be used to it by now. The situation with §m£ÂgØL and the gun (I didnt pull a gun on §m£ÂgØL the first time, that was solely my husband), and Itold him after, he needed to leave. He didnt, he just made himself more at home and I never, ever directlypointed the gun at him. I toldhim finally he needed to go along with my husband. Even with me threatening, he refused to leave. I was hormonal, and fucked in the head and was just told by my husband he would shootme in the head as Islept. I just wanted both ofthem togo. After the incident, we tried to make things better and ehile yes, the fighting still occurred with my Exhusnand, I never, ever did anything to hurt §m£ÂgØL. he was only here a short time when the gun came outandI believed he was part of the shit with my husband, hence why I wanted them gone. He did grab me with force on the street when I went to leave and again, Id been drug in vehicles before and it terrified me is why I threatened tomake a scene if he didnt let go of me- if I wanted to have been an asshole, Id have flagged down a car and had him arrested for assult on a pregnant woman, because when someone says leave me the fuck alone, donttouch me, and youtouch them, nomatter if you believe its notassult or not, it is. Isuffer alot of pain, maybe he didnt have a problem with him breaking hard but I did, thats how much shit hurts me, especially when I was pregnant. It hurt when he grabbed my arm and tried pulling me. I have backproblems, little things that seem miniscle to a regular healthy person, it hurts me. He also continued to stay with my husband during this 2 hour escipade to stop me from going to a shelter. Now, beyond that… we worked past all that. Ileft thatsackof shit when I saw him atart totreat my son the way he treated me. I havent known how to manage alone for adecade, especially with a baby I never wanted, especially being single. I said to him I wouldjust go until I ran out of money and my medicine and just… probably die or suicide. He asked me if we could try, but his fear was it being so heavy in the start. I said we could try, but just… I didnt want to lose a friendship over this. He promised we wouldnt lose our friendship.we had a lot of rough spots. Sometimes Id be very depressed and just want to off myself- it was incredibly hard caring for a baby alone with my pain and problems. I saw no hope. At times he would hallucinate me saying I hated him or some such nonesense that I swear was untrue. He hurt me alot with that, and most the time I didnt even know why he was doing it because he wouldnt tell me then when he got a little more sane again what he thought I said or did and it wasnt true but he would believe it until he got more sane. I didnt do anything to hurt him. I just tried to help, tried to be positive when he got low… I had a job call me, where I had applied about 6 months before, before my Ex husband left. I didnt know how Id work and whod watch my son but I did find someone and even through this time he was being paranoid and hopeless for our situation, but I kept going and trying to make shit better for us. When we got going better is when it seemed he wanted to throw it away since it got closer to his ultimate fear.. fear and uncertainly because he was going to come down here to help the situation. I dont know what I did for him to just rip me out of his life. At onepoint last year I was a toxic person, surrounded by toxic people, but at the time he threw me away- I was doing everything right and working my ass off to make it work, being a single mom raising this baby and working damn near fulltime (Ive even worked 60-70 hours a week at my job here now a few different weeks, this week Ive pulled 50). I just needed some help here to make it work with him. point is, the harder I try, the harder it gets and thats when people abandon me, not when shit is fucked and Im fucked, but when I begin to do right, thats when I lose it all. Thats when all the support, and my best friend decides Im worthless- after they get all the drugs Ive mailed and christmas presents, then Im no good to them. After they abuse the shit I begged for them not to. paranoia, schizophrenia and benzos… then they decide Im worthless. It hurts a lot, but Im at the end of my road so it really doesnt matter.
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2016-03-16 at 2:10 AM UTC
but your story changes with each retelling
But also nobody cares -
2016-03-16 at 5:37 AM UTCI dont see where the retelling changes- there was a lot of things I didnt mention prior. Ive accepted what I did was wrong to him- it was, and I never, ever agreed I pulled a gun twice, I did once with my ex and once with him. I dont expect, nor what §m£ÂgØLs support, nor have I ever. I was working my ass off to try to make shit right for us both, not so I could just sit on my ass for him to take care of us. Ive pulled my weight for over a decade and if I wasnt working, I was in college and most of that I was doing the rawmilk gig while in school too. Im not a lazy person, not by a long shot. The longest out of work Ive been was after my son and even then I was trying to go back to school then but lost my ride, my books and even my sons carseat and work shoes during my grandmothers bullshit. Ive never expected to be 'taken care of' by anybody, I just like anyone in my situation needed some help. most single mothers have family they can depend on for childcare or even just the occaisional break- Ive had none of that up until the beginning of this month. Just found out literally an hour ago Ive got to go back for my son because they dont want to go through the drama of getting him off the certificate and adopting, so Im leaving in the morning after work to go pick him up. Ohwell.. I tried. I just need to get that fucker off the certificate and then I can go drop him off with DCF and all will be well.
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2016-03-16 at 5:53 AM UTCI really hate the fact that Im losing my son. I just cant do it, especially as my health is so fucked. I love that child, and never, ever have hurt or done that baby wrong. Do I smoke pot occaisonally? Yeah. Do I dabble with other drugs once in a blue moon? Sure do. Am I physically dependent on a drug that helps legit chronic pain? Yes. I dont blow money trying to get high. I havent bought weed in forever, or any drug save for T-PAIN. §m£ÂgØL said I didnt quit smoking during my pregnancy which is a lie, I quit for the bulk of my pregnancy and the ecig did help despite me telling him not to get it for me. I picked back up when my dad died and quit again before he was born. My child was not born under weight- under weight babies are deemed to be under 5lbs 13oz., my child was 6lbs 7oz. At birth (my dad was into gemology- I have a shitton of accurate scales around my house that weigh up to 30lbs.). My child was born healthy and has been very healthy even when Ive gotten sickand hes been around others whove been sick- his immune system is kick ass. Besides two ear infections hes been 100% healthy. My child was rolling over back and forth at a month old. He was crawling by 3 months. Right now hes 10 months old and has a vocabulary of 10 words and eats unblended solids. So, whats wrong with my baby?
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2016-03-16 at 6 AM UTCYou can always have another
But with me, I have better genes
Also, I'm not a pedophile OR a rapist. This is a step up for you. -
2016-03-16 at 6:04 AM UTC
You can always have another
But with me, I have better genes
Also, I'm not a pedophile OR a rapist. This is a step up for you.
what would you do if your kid punched you in the head and called you a child molestor
mild cholestor
child molestor with mild cholestorol
dangerous levels of molestorol -
2016-03-16 at 6:18 AM UTC
what would you do if your kid punched you in the head and called you a child molestor
mild cholestor
child molestor with mild cholestorol
dangerous levels of molestorol
I'd call him a child molester and kick him -
2016-03-16 at 7:53 AM UTCI cant do a pregnancy again. This baby is one and done. Ill probably be dead in a few months anyway.
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2016-03-16 at 8:05 AM UTCcrawlin'g in the skin, this wound will not ?heal
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2016-03-16 at 8:15 AM UTC
Ill probably be dead in a few months anyway.
Then it doesn't matter!
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2016-03-16 at 10:13 AM UTC
I really hate the fact that Im losing my son. I just cant do it, especially as my health is so fucked. I love that child, and never, ever have hurt or done that baby wrong. Do I smoke pot occaisonally? Yeah. Do I dabble with other drugs once in a blue moon? Sure do. Am I physically dependent on a drug that helps legit chronic pain? Yes. I dont blow money trying to get high. I havent bought weed in forever, or any drug save for T-PAIN. §m£ÂgØL said I didnt quit smoking during my pregnancy which is a lie, I quit for the bulk of my pregnancy and the ecig did help despite me telling him not to get it for me. I picked back up when my dad died and quit again before he was born. My child was not born under weight- under weight babies are deemed to be under 5lbs 13oz., my child was 6lbs 7oz. At birth (my dad was into gemology- I have a shitton of accurate scales around my house that weigh up to 30lbs.). My child was born healthy and has been very healthy even when Ive gotten sickand hes been around others whove been sick- his immune system is kick ass. Besides two ear infections hes been 100% healthy. My child was rolling over back and forth at a month old. He was crawling by 3 months. Right now hes 10 months old and has a vocabulary of 10 words and eats unblended solids. So, whats wrong with my baby?
you and §m£ÂgØL are like the worst parents ever. -
2016-03-16 at 5:50 PM UTCInstead of using four letters for "ATTN" hydro used three, there were three people involved in the conception of hydros child. A triangle has three sides. That's three times three.
[SIZE=72px]Illuminati confirmed[/SIZE] -
2016-03-16 at 5:59 PM UTCFUCK THE jedi GANG STALKING MINATI!
FUCKING PERP PEICES OF SHIT
