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Today I was α as fuck to a chick instead of my usual β self
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2018-12-13 at 2:09 AM UTCSo first, a bit of background on me:
My weight has fluctuated throughout my life.
I was a (nay, the) fat kid growing up.
Then I miraculously thinned out in my late teens, and, despite effectively being socially retarded, I discovered alcohol, which gave me even more confidence than my inexplicably athletic figure that came out of nowhere, so sex became a regular thing for me for a few years. It was like one long orgy.
Then in my early 20's, I started gaining weight, and fast. A nightly 6 drink minimum was probably a major contributor. So, fat and socially retarded, no amount of alcohol could turn me into anything resembling some kind of casanova.
Then came the 10 year drought. Legit, I did not have sex (or a date, for that matter) in an entire decade.
I resolve to lose the weight, and really dedicate myself to it, and I lose 100 lbs.
Literally days after reaching my goal weight (healthy BMI), I hooked up with this older alcoholic lady up the street. Sure, she's liquored up all the time, and she's like almost 20 years older than me, but she has a surprisingly decent body, and, was willing to sleep with me (again, after ten years without sex). So we basically just drank and fucked for a week straight.
I kinda caught feelings pretty hard (remember, 10 years), and that ended up putting her off. But I felt so heart-broken for weeks after that. I did a lot thinking, but mostly a lot of drinking. Luckily, my sex life ended up picking back up right where it left-off ten years ago, and shortly after there were a few more women sleeping with me, getting progressively more attractive / "out-of-my-league" (the most recent one being a gorgeous/flawless 19 year old (remember, I'm in my 30's at this point)).
So tonight, I have a chance encounter with the wino gal from up the street as I'm getting into a cab. It turns out she called a cab to the same place as me at the same time. So we share the cab, but I had plans to stop by the liquor store on the way, so I do that. She asks me to get her some Fireball whiskey (which just so happens to be what I'm picking up for myself), so I grab two two-sixes (Canadian slang for 750 ml bottles), and she says that she'll pay me back when we get to her place (we live on the same street). She's clearly drunk, as freaking always, but she invites me over. So I say yes, but then she starts acting up. At first she's all nice, but then she starts like, barking orders at me. Now, the old me (the sexless for 10 years me) would be all like "yes, Mistress, whatever you say goes…" But instead, I just throw her the bottle of Fireball and tell her to pay for the cab.
And I'm all like...
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-13 at 2:17 AM UTCOh, in case it isn't clear at the end, I did not go over to her place. I had the cab driver drop me off at home first.
I'm not sure how clear that ending is. -
2018-12-13 at 2:17 AM UTCtl/dr
better start prepping instead. -
2018-12-13 at 2:19 AM UTC
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2018-12-13 at 2:25 AM UTCActually I'll prep alright.
By going to the gym and doing mad reps.
That's how I'll prep, through reps.
The prophet Brodin hath created the Iron Temple for achieving entrance to Swolehalla.
Do You Even Lift, Bro? -
2018-12-13 at 2:25 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks For the femdom empire take-over???
For some kind of extreme radical feminist take-over???
For another alcohol prohibition???
I'm not sure what this means I need to prep for?
either start prepping with food and water and other supplies or start getting your butthole prepped for taking numerous cocks in your hole. -
2018-12-13 at 2:26 AM UTC
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2018-12-13 at 2:27 AM UTC
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2018-12-13 at 2:28 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks I'm actually fairly prepared skillwise.
I lived out of a Dodge Caravan for close to a year, most of that time I was as off the grid as you can get.
hopefully that dodge caravan doesn't have electrical components to it otherwise.. it will be useless as far as transportation if an emp attack occurs. better get a schwinn bicycle or a moped. -
2018-12-13 at 2:30 AM UTC
Originally posted by Bill Krozby hopefully that dodge caravan doesn't have electrical components to it otherwise.. it will be useless as far as transportation if an emp attack occurs. better get a schwinn bicycle or a moped.
My point was more about the fact that I learned how to get by without many modern electrical conveniences:
-- No running water.
-- No fridge, and definitely no freezer.
-- No oven/stove, and definitely no microwave.
Not to mention, I had to get by with very few items, since I had very little storage room.
You learn a lot living that way. -
2018-12-13 at 2:33 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks My point was more about the fact that I learned how to get by without many modern electrical conveniences:
– No running water.
– No fridge, and definitely no freezer.
– No oven/stove, and definitely no microwave.
Not to mention, I had to get by with very few items, since I had very little storage room.
You learn a lot living that way.
Yeah I feel ya. My buddy used to live that way as well.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-13 at 2:38 AM UTCSo anyway, back to my ascension from β to α.
Today marked a milestone in my evolution as a man.
Never again will I consume any soy-based products.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-13 at 2:42 AM UTC
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2018-12-13 at 2:42 AM UTCInteresting.
Thread title kinda confusing. Is a & b suppose to mean a lpha & beta? -
2018-12-13 at 2:44 AM UTC
Originally posted by DontTellEm Interesting.
Thread title kinda confusing. Is a & b suppose to mean a lpha & beta?
Originally posted by DontTellEm Interesting.
Thread title kinda confusing. Is a & b suppose to mean a lpha & beta?
Originally posted by DontTellEm Interesting.
Thread title kinda confusing. Is a & b suppose to mean a lpha & beta?
durrrrr.... someones a little slow, better get prepped -
2018-12-13 at 2:44 AM UTC
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2018-12-13 at 2:44 AM UTC
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2018-12-13 at 2:45 AM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-12-13 at 2:46 AM UTC
Originally posted by totse3.com go back and knock that bitch up
I'm lucky I haven't already. Back when we was first fuckin', I hit that like 5 times a day without ever using a rubber.
After ten years without sex, you stop buying condoms to replace full boxes of expired ones.
Still though, I should have bought some after the first day.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-13 at 2:50 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks I'm lucky I haven't already. Back when we was first fuckin', I hit that like 5 times a day without ever using a rubber.
After ten years without sex, you stop buying condoms to replace full boxes of expired ones.
Still though, I should have bought some after the first day.
gotta get prepped with those condoms, personally I prep with spermicide.
