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What keeps YOU from getting on that bus?
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2018-12-11 at 12:30 AM UTCI want to say that, while I kinda disagree with GGG here in a certain way, I do always appreciate alternate points of view.
It's the whole point of discussion forums. -
2018-12-11 at 12:30 AM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-12-11 at 12:34 AM UTC-mal-, you bring up a really good point to consider...
Originally posted by -mal- Honestly only the pain it would cause my family
The impact on others is definitely a factor.
At least, it should be.
But to be totally honest, it only vaguely crosses my mind when I'm feeling suicidal.
Like, I'll start thinking things through, but I can't help but think "they'll get over it. what I'm going through right now, I don't know if I ever will."
It really depends on how pressing and pervasive the feelings of hopelessness are when I'm contemplating such things.
If I haven't felt an iota of happiness in weeks, I start to do some math in my head, as cold and calculating as it sounds, and come to the conclusion that, if I were to end it all, the overall total quantity of sadness in the world will go down.
People don't grieve every waking moment. They grieve strongly right away, and then intermittently, and with decreasing severity, as time goes by. -
2018-12-11 at 12:36 AM UTCI've been crazy sleep deprived since Thursday so I've been feeling extra faggotyThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-12-11 at 12:37 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks -mal-, you bring up a really good point to consider…
The impact on others is definitely a factor.
At least, it should be.
But to be totally honest, it only vaguely crosses my mind when I'm feeling suicidal.
Like, I'll start thinking things through, but I can't help but think "they'll get over it. what I'm going through right now, I don't know if I ever will."
It really depends on how pressing and pervasive the feelings of hopelessness are when I'm contemplating such things.
If I haven't felt an iota of happiness in weeks, I start to do some math in my head, as cold and calculating as it sounds, and come to the conclusion that, if I were to end it all, the overall total quantity of sadness in the world will go down.
People don't grieve every waking moment. They grieve strongly right away, and then intermittently, and with decreasing severity, as time goes by.
Do you know how people grieve from experience?
I’ve seen how my family was affected by suicide of a close family friend. Because of that I know it would be even worse if it was me and that’s usually enough to quell the ideations. It’s only been in the past year that I’ve even gotten to the point of actual ideation. But I’m pretty sure that will stop now that I’m single and not under as much stress.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-11 at 12:41 AM UTC
Originally posted by -mal- Do you know how people grieve from experience?
I’ve seen how my family was affected by suicide of a close family friend. Because of that I know it would be even worse if it was me and that’s usually enough to quell the ideations. It’s only been in the past year that I’ve even gotten to the point of actual ideation. But I’m pretty sure that will stop now that I’m single and not under as much stress.
Well, I'm pretty sure everyone has, at some point, lost someone important to them or whom they loved in some capacity.
And of course this becomes more and more likely with age.
I have grieved for lost loved ones, but I've also noticed that that grief, while it never goes away, it does kind of subside. You can compartmentalize it. We all do it.
Now, I haven't made anyone a widow after, say, 50 years of marriage. That might be a bit different.
But right now, all I really have to consider are parents, siblings, friends, etc.
Sure, they'd grieve, but they'd adapt eventually.
My whole point is that I don't seem to be adapting to my situation. When every day is worse than the last, it starts to seem like maybe grief is the lesser of two evils. -
2018-12-11 at 12:42 AM UTCI’m sorry for shitposting so ON TOPIC...
I’ve dealt with depression on and off since 18 but if I’m being honest I don’t hate life all the time. I get real dramatic and threaten to drive my car off a bridge but I only seriously contemplate it on bad bad days.
I have one thing I feel is missing from my life, and as an expected common theme in this thread, it’s hope that keeps me pushing.
But I’ll tell you what...if I got old and start shitting on myself and can’t wipe my own ass and all my friends are dead you better believe I will walk right on up outta this bitch.
Originally posted by GGG I've been crazy sleep deprived since Thursday so I've been feeling extra faggoty
Now’s the perfect time for some handsome young fella to slip right into your anus. -
2018-12-11 at 12:47 AM UTC
Originally posted by ohfralala I’m sorry for shitposting so ON TOPIC…
It's all good. Like I said, humor is potent life fuel. When you're joking around or laughing, you can't help but be in a good mood.
Originally posted by ohfralala I have one thing I feel is missing from my life, and as an expected common theme in this thread, it’s hope that keeps me pushing.
It definitely seems to be a recurring theme.
Human resilience must be universally based on the whole idea of hope.
Originally posted by ohfralala But I’ll tell you what…if I got old and start shitting on myself and can’t wipe my own ass and all my friends are dead you better believe I will walk right on up outta this bitch.
At that point, I definitely would too.
I guess the whole goal is to make it to that point, even if I have a whole lot of shitty days in between now and that point. -
2018-12-11 at 12:49 AM UTCI used to believe that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Not so sure now that I read this thread. I really do wish all of you with the bus ticket the best.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-12-11 at 12:50 AM UTCfantasy and delusionThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-12-11 at 12:53 AM UTC
Originally posted by Flatulant_bomb I used to believe that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Not so sure now that I read this thread. I really do wish all of you with the bus ticket the best.
Yeah I think we've all heard the cliche saying that it's "a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
The thing is, it's not always temporary.
However, in my case at least, I actively choose to think of my problem as temporary. Even if it has persisted for weeks, or months; and even if I've tried all kinds of different things that haven't worked.
All it means is that I just haven't quite found that one thing.
I may end up dying of old age / natural causes in my 80's, and never experience happiness or joy throughout all these decades, but I still have the power to characterize it as a "temporary problem".
This is where the Stoic/Existential philosophy comes into play.
The Stoics and the Existentialists wrote a lot about death and dealing with the finite nature of life and existence as we know it.
And I have read a lot of the Stoics and Existentialists.
Maybe philosophy is part of what keeps me alive. -
2018-12-11 at 12:58 AM UTCWhat's the rush? It's not like I'm going to miss it. My bus is waiting for me, and me alone.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-12-11 at 1 AM UTCATTENTION ANYONE READING: If you find that my justifications for suicide are seeming reasonable, even if you're just lurking and not a poster, just anyone reading any of this, do not focus solely on that line of thinking.
I hope I'm providing a reasonable balance to all of that with some of my posts.
I don't want to encourage anyone who's currently standing atop a precipice to take the final plunge.
Like I said from the beginning of this thread: Hope is worth clinging to.
And like I said most recently in this thread: You have the power to characterize your problems as temporary or permanent.
Heck, you could wake up tomorrow a quadriplegic and think "shit, it's all over now."
Or, you can think about how medical science progresses, or about how other people rendered the same way manage to cope, etc, etc.
There is always hope.
I choose to believe that there is.
You, mysterious stranger, can choose the same. -
2018-12-11 at 1:02 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks Yeah I think we've all heard the cliche saying that it's "a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
The thing is, it's not always temporary.
However, in my case at least, I actively choose to think of my problem as temporary. Even if it has persisted for weeks, or months; and even if I've tried all kinds of different things that haven't worked.
All it means is that I just haven't quite found that one thing.
I may end up dying of old age / natural causes in my 80's, and never experience happiness or joy throughout all these decades, but I still have the power to characterize it as a "temporary problem".
This is where the Stoic/Existential philosophy comes into play.
The Stoics and the Existentialists wrote a lot about death and dealing with the finite nature of life and existence as we know it.
And I have read a lot of the Stoics and Existentialists.
Maybe philosophy is part of what keeps me alive.
I just take a fuck everyone and everything attitude. Don't take that the wrong way, I actually do care and give a fuck but what I mean is this isn't going to bring me to any kind of problematic nuclear meltdown. I don't let anything do that to me. Road rage was the hardest to get under control. But I did it. -
2018-12-11 at 1:07 AM UTC
Originally posted by Flatulant_bomb Road rage was the hardest to get under control. But I did it.
I am usually a super-passive driver, I rarely use my horn.
I've always had a hard time understanding how people I'm in a car with (who are driving) get so mad over certain things when driving.
BUT, like everyone, I do have my pet peeves when it comes to driving.
My one thing is people driving slowly in the left lane on the highway, when there are CLEARLY posted signs saying "stay right, use left lane only to pass."
Oh man, it infuriates me when people violate that rule.
I just had to get that out there.
Finding commonalities with other people is one of those things that helps build resilience. -
2018-12-11 at 1:08 AM UTCI have crystal meth and whores. No I'm not trying to be witty or facetious it's the absolute truth.
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2018-12-11 at 1:08 AM UTCI've never once seen a problem that someone is literally willing to die to not face, but couldn't be solved in an infinitely less extreme way than that.
Literally anything is less dangerous than killing yourself. Go buy a $50 bike, jump it over a canyon and put it on YouTube, worst case scenario you die anyway, best case scenario you are the new evel kenievel. -
2018-12-11 at 1:13 AM UTC
Originally posted by RestStop I have crystal meth and whores. No I'm not trying to be witty or facetious it's the absolute truth.
I love this answer so much.
As a matter of fact, it reminds me that I have to admit to something...
Since starting this thread, I have also started drinking.
I feel way less depressed now that the spirits have taken hold of me.
It's a band-aid, and not a sustainable solution, and I get that.
But man, psychoactive chemicals (and whores too, I suppose), can be a great way to keep the right neurotransmitters in check... At least for the time being.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-11 at 1:17 AM UTC
Originally posted by Cro Mango Literally anything is less dangerous than killing yourself. Go buy a $50 bike, jump it over a canyon and put it on YouTube, worst case scenario you die anyway, best case scenario you are the new evel kenievel.
I love this one too.
It's actually a pretty creative way to kinda 'postpone' the whole finality of suicide.
In fact, I think it kind of aligns with what I've been doing.
I've been experimenting with different drugs, drug combinations, therapies, rTMS/tDCS (kinda like electroshock therapy, but a lot less invasive), heck, I'm even willing to try witchcraft if the spell is right.
I will try things, even potentially dangerous things, before I straight up end it all. -
2018-12-11 at 1:29 AM UTCA lot of my favorite posters are in this thread. I love you guys
